“I’m talking about a year ago.”
“I gave them all a solid beating six years ago when it first became clear my only daughter was sneaking around with not one, but three unsuitable matches. They took it well and stuck around, which I give them credit for. Do I like them? Not particularly. You’re a woman in a man’s world, Adelaide. Your grandmother and your mom struggled to find their place, and they weren’t expected to take the reins. It’s your life, but for the men who follow you? It’s hard to swallow that their queen has three guys in her bed and not one of them can even shoot a gun.”
My nostrils flared, and I shook my head. I wasn’t about to have this argument with him again. There was a reason I kept them separate from my world. But someone wasn’t being honest, and I was too tired to argue any longer.
“Did they get sick of being on the fringes of your life? You moved on pretty quickly to pretty boy Donato. You dating him is giving Harold a swollen head but I’m unsure. Orazios fall hard. The moment I saw your mom in that supermarket, I knew I was going to marry her.”
There were suitable and unsuitable choices for partners in this world.
My mom was unsuitable. Unaware of the dark underworld that flowed in this city. She had been a cashier at the local supermarket and my father had been buying flowers for a date. His normal florist had closed, and the supermarket was a last resort. He believed fate guided him there, through the lane of a woman whose smile was like sunshine bursting through thick gray clouds. He never went on that date, knowing in his soul that my mom was the woman he was going to marry.
“Perhaps I’m an outlier,” I countered.
“Your grandfather fell from the first conversation he had with your grandmother. I didn’t even need a conversation to know your mom was the only one for me. We can’t stop this world from hurting the ones we choose to love.”
“Luckily, I don’t have to worry about that anymore.”
I refused to acknowledge his argument. I had fallen for my guys from the first time we met, lost in the bubble of Calder Place. My father gave me a pitying look, reaching out to cover my hand.
“If that’s true, why do you care if I threatened them? If it’s your mom–”
His words sunk into a place where I didn’t want them. A place that made my resolve waver and heart weep for the warmth of three men who fit perfectly around me. Let them frighten away the ominous press of dark thoughts of my mom.
“No, I don’t want to talk about her. I need to sleep. Can we save the lectures for when I haven’t been shot at?”
My father pulled me into a crushing embrace. His hands stroked my hair, and it made me feel like a little girl again. When his arms were the shield that protected me from the world. Now the only protection I had was myself, and it was lonely and heavy tonight.
“Whatever you want. Sleep well.” His lips ghosted over my forehead. He didn’t tell me he loved me. We hadn’t done that since I was sixteen, in the hospital and I begged him not to. But his lips whispered it against my skin and my heart pulsed in reply. The door clicked behind him, and I knew I should turn the lock but couldn’t make myself. Thoughts moved as if slathered in molasses. My hand slid under my shirt and my fingers coasted over the raised scars on my abdomen.
Six years I had tried too hard to keep my world from touching Jesse, Briar and Logan. A knot filled my throat. I didn’t want this life to taint them. It was harsh, dangerous and cruel. Scenarios raced in, crowding my weakened mind.
Briar crawling toward me, his fingers scrambling to put pressure on my stomach.
“I love you.” His lips were glossy red. “I love you so much.” His hazel eyes turned wide and blue. Freckles painted the nose of a new face. My mom.The one face I tried not to think about. My teeth captured my bottom lip, clamping down.
“It didn’t matter, mom,” I muttered to the marble counter. “I couldn’t keep them safe. Just like father couldn’t keep you safe. I wanted it to be different. I didn’t want—” I trailed off, my shoulders hunching. The scars felt like insurmountable peaks I wouldn’t ever conquer. I dragged myself to Lara’s room and opened without thinking.
“Oh, my god.” I backed out and covered my eyes. “What the fuck?”
Lara had been straddling Jonah. Their mouths fused together hungrily. Still fully clothed, thankfully.
“Adelaide,” Lara gasped, and I heard a thump on the floor. “It’s not what it looks like.”
“You’re not eating the face off my bodyguard?” I peeked through my fingers to see a red-faced Jonah slipping down the hallway. Ray had been right about my guard, after all.
“Oh, get in here.” Lara grabbed my arm and pulled me in. Her back slammed against the shut door as she tried to tame her mussed hair. I eyed the rumpled bed distastefully, folding into her armchair instead. “Don’t look at me like that.” Lara’s hands covered her pink cheeks.
“I thought it was you and Ray?” I shook my head. “No judgement, obviously. I’m just surprised. I mean, Jonah?”
Lara threw herself on the bed and plumped a pillow nervously.
“You had a horrible night. You don’t want to hear this.” She ducked her head.
Lara looked freshly ravaged, but her eyes were also red rimmed, like she’d been crying. And under my perusal, they flooded with tears again.
“That’s it, I’m gelding Ray,” I promised, a violent undercurrent in my tone. Lara choked and clutched the pillow to her chest.
“No, please.” She wiped the tears. “It’s my fault. He was never going to end up with someone like me. Jonah found me crying, and he was comforting me.”