Page 44 of The Burnt Heart

“Can you believe this guy, Logan? Two years of extra tutoring and he doesn’t remember?”

“Yeah, you’re the only one who graduated with a decent degree, so it must have helped you. I could barely string two numbers together with a calculator. Still can’t.” He held his fist out to Jesse, who bumped it with a smile. “They must have known it was a lost cause because lessons weren’t ever offered to us.”

“Alright, alright.” Briar shook his head, a brown curl falling over his forehead. His grimace seemed deeper than the gentle ribbing warranted. There were hollow dips on his cheeks that I didn’t remember. Briar pushed his cutlery on his plate, half bitten morsels left languishing. “I’m the smart one. Can we drop it now?”

“If you aren’t smart, what does that make me?” I interjected. “I didn’t go to college either.”

“School can’t teach you the skills you need. Anita was a better teacher than any school combined. That woman scared me so much.” Logan shivered with a smile.

Anita, my grandmother. Her dark eyes never missed much, and Logan was right. I had learned more from my grandparents than any school could ever teach me. Especially how to be a woman in a world that demanded power and strength. She knew a dozen ways to poison someone. She and my grandfather were a lethal team, the pair who cemented the Orazio legacy in Greenich Bay. On my eighteenth birthday, she’d gifted me a bracelet that unlocked a hidden needle. I could lace it with toxins and use it as defense, if needed. She found my boyfriends amusing, often taunting my grandfather, Romeo, that she needed more husbands. They’d passed away within months of each other barely two years ago. The back of my eyes stung, and I took a drink to clear the knot in my throat. Logan’s foot tangledwith mine under the table. Jesse reached over and gripped my knee.

“Sorry princess, I know the anniversary is coming up soon.” I focused on the firm grip of Jesse’s hand on my knee, thoughts rising that I didn’t want. But couldn’t escape. I took a shuddering breath, needing to change the subject. Our connection soothed me, like my soul recognized theirs.

“It is.” I could see they held back from pressing me, whether I would visit the greenhouse to pay my respects. It was going to be a challenging enough day without them there to support me. This dinner was a precarious balance. A truce for now. We finished with dessert, a banana pancake with condensed milk drizzled over the top.

“How was the recovery from Cupid, Briar?” I asked, and it was like I’d scratched my nails down a board. He winced and ducked his head, the other two stiffening. I was instantly on edge.

“Ray hasn’t given me any updates. Do you know how you got dosed?” I added, the warmth that had built over the dinner slowly chipping away. Briar stared at the table, taking a fortifying breath before meeting my gaze directly.

“I know who gave it to me. It’s a story that requires some explanation. Would you allow me to explain first, hold questions until the end? I don’t want to keep anything from you, but this will sound bad.”

He waited for my answer while the others glared mulishly at the tablecloth. Ok, so they knew what was going on. My heart rate kicked up a notch, not knowing what was about to come out of his mouth. I gave him a curt nod and Briar took a shuddering breath.

“I want to preface this by saying I love you, Adelaide.”

He told me how he ended up drugged.

Nicole. Wine. Blouse.My blouse.

The words tripped off his trembling lips, color leeching out of his skin. Jesse squeezed my knee, and I shook his hand off. I was a fool, again. I’d sat through this lunch, nursing a warmth in my stomach that they didn’t deserve. Nicole would have loved being in my old apartment, wearing my old clothes. Acid stung my throat, and I swallowed it down. How many more times would I let these men hurt me? The problem was my steel exterior was ineffectual against these three men. I had met them with my walls crumbling around me. They had slipped in the moment we locked eyes in Calder Place. I had always cherished it, felt it was fate, but now I wondered if it was a curse. No one else had the power to hurt me like they did. My heart thudded sluggishly.

“I let Nicole manipulate me. I didn’t think.” Briar’s fist slammed into his thigh, and I would have laughed, but my throat was clogged shut. “Nothing happened, but she gave me that drug, hoping she could seduce me.” He trailed off, noticing how I had frozen like shards of ice.

I hurt. My body ached as if his words had bruised me. Marring the tender, flimsy soul deep inside me. When would the indignities end? They’d torn my precious pride to shreds. How many times had I warned Briar about that woman? Each time he’d brushed it off, dismissed my concerns. He’d always held his time in the foster house up as his excuse. Nicole had been beside him in that dark time before he even knew me. I shook my head, drowning. Nicole had drugged him the same night I’d comforted him. If Cupid drew the user to the person they loved, it had backfired on Nicole. I dislodged the heavy knot in my throat with a thick swallow. The win was bitter. Nicole had proven me right in every way. No doubt she thought the drug would coax out long hidden desires.

But he’d come to me.

I’d held Briar, our hands wrapped around each other. He’d needed me on a cellular level, and if I was honest, I needed himjust the same. I thought of the tormented pain in the journal, the raw honesty and regret he’d marked in ink. My pride was in tatters again. The bubble encasing our table was mournful. They all knew the admission was not something I would smile and forgive.

I was Adelaide Orazio. Heir to the Greenich Bay legacy. We didn’t forgive in this family. We sliced under the knees of those who dared cross us. Until they were begging before us. My unreachable control snapped and the hurt I kept at bay flooded my body. My eyes stung and I looked at the ceiling, determined to maintain a steely facade. I reached into my purse and lay the dragonfly switchblade Logan had gifted me on the table with shaky fingers.

“Here, this will be quicker,” my voice bled with hurt. The echo of it rocking through to the marrow of my bones. Briar knew. I wondered if he felt the level of hurt I did as he slumped in his chair. “Just cut out my damn heart next time.”

“Siren–” Logan started. I cut him off. The blonde’s nostrils flared, but his jaw clicked shut. Shadows sunk his features, anticipating my next comment.

“Briar wanted to tell me the night he was drugged, didn’t he? But you cut him off.”

Logan’s face fell, confirming my theory. He didn’t deny it. None of them had anything to say now. We were frozen in a twisted cycle of hurt. I needed to escape, so I could lick my wounds.

“The sick thing is this dinner felt right,” my voice cracked. “I’ve missed you all so much and we couldn’t even last through that without you fucking up.”

I pressed a napkin to my lips, giving my shaky legs time to settle. Briar reached for me, but I shied away, the chair teetering on its legs as I stood forcefully.

“Please, Adelaide, I’m sorry. I’ve made a million mistakes. But I’ve never wavered in my love for you. I can prove it if you let me.”

A silent snarl curled my lips, pinning each of them with a ferocious look. A wounded animal about to use its last ebb of energy to defend itself.

“You wrote you wanted to make yourself worthy of me. That was why you three caused all this, right?” I hooked my purse over my shoulder. “You’ll never be worthy of me.” Nausea churned in my stomach as my words sliced through them. Their faces fell like dominos, stark with raw pain, an electric agony. They’d hurt me once again, and I’d lashed out. I couldn’t find it in me to feel mercy. They had the key to my heart, access to my very soul. But they didn’t listen when I begged them to hold me gently. So, I would do the same. I knew them, their secrets and fears. I wanted them to feel an ounce of what was inside of me. Because that’s what we’ve devolved to now.

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