Page 36 of The Burnt Heart

My view of the world perforated, splitting at his crushed shrug. His daring gaze left me speechless. My tongue was thick and dry in my mouth.

I couldn’t imagine my father ever saying something like that.

“Did he tell you this himself?” I cleared my throat. Logan shook his head with a derisive snort.

“His goons made it very clear that we were beneath his notice.”

“How long has this gone on?” I wondered, and Briar squeezed our joined hands again.

“Before we even officially started anything together. We had visits from big bastards warning us to stay away from you, that you weren’t the girl for scum like us. Remember when Jesse broke his nose? We said it was from boxing. But he’d been blindsided. Another set of guys your father sent to scare us away from you,” Briar’s voice sounded dreamy despite the brutal words he was relaying. I let out a strangled gasp. I remembered the day like yesterday. Jesse’s nose had been swollen and hiseyes blackened like a panda. He’d laughed it off, and I’d nursed him with tender devotion, my chest aching after seeing one of my guys hurting. It had been the moment I’d known I was falling in love with them all. Danger was a part of my life, and for the first time it had occurred to me it could touch them. Never had I suspected that it was already dogging their steps.

“I didn’t know,” I whispered, wondering how many other times they had hidden things like this from me. Nausea swooped around my stomach. I remembered every discolored mark on their skin through a different lens.

“Remember when Jesse was mugged?” Logan’s gaze was intense.

A gasp strangled in my throat, and I massaged the tight column.

“I remember. But you’re not saying...” I shook my head, unwilling to believe my father could do this.

“We didn’t want to be a burden on you. People already talked about always needing our woman to sweep in and save us. It would have only exacerbated things.”

“I would have listened,” I protested, lurching forward in frustration. But my thoughts curdled. What would I have done if they told me? Logan shook his head with a bitter smile. He could tell how the news disturbed me. How confused I was.

“All we ever wanted was a future with you. This gym became our way to get it. Your father would see we were successful in our own right. And yes, we were desperate and stupid, but the beatings never stopped, they only escalated. So, we kept secrets, we let fear drive us.”

“You could have told me.” The words were a hoarse whisper. Briar whimpered next to me, like he could feel the pain tearing me apart. I got my answer, but it hadn’t made anything better. It was sinking me deeper into agony.

“You’re right, we should have let you take care of it, like you always do. We should have let you protect and coddle us while your men snicker behind your back. Pride is a mighty armor for those who have nothing. We were trying to break the cycle. To prove we could be your equal. Instead, we got played.” Logan slumped onto the couch, pinching his nose. My fingers itched with the need to refute him. I’d never seen them as anything but my equals. But I realized not everything was as I believed.

If I’d let them be a part of my life fully, this would never have happeneda part of me whispered with a spiteful twist to my stomach. They would have known who Harold Donato was immediately. But I’d let them be led like a lamb on a leash, straight into a wolf’s mouth.

“Logan? Can you get my book?” Briar nosed my arm. Logan left the room, and I looked down at Briar who was staring up at me with an expression of such contentment. I wish I could feel the same way, but being this close to him was torture for me. The hurt was ever present. It made all the sweetness of his touch sour. But I couldn’t look away from his face. They’d been hurt because of me. I’d tried so hard to keep my world from brushing against them, but it hadn’t helped. Another thought popped into my mind, one that had shaken me ever since I saw him and Nicole at the bar. In the light of everything that had been admitted, it seemed miniscule. But I needed to know.

“Did you ever cheat on me?” I broke the silence.

“Never,” Briar hissed, raising until his nose was inches from mine. Regret cooled his anger. “Not deliberately. But I betrayed you, Adelaide. Nicole was only ever a friend in my mind, but I dismissed your feelings repeatedly. I never, ever felt love or desire for Nicole, or anyone else. I have made many mistakes, but I’ve never stopped loving you. The whole reason I’m in this–” Briar yelped as Logan smacked him on the head with aworn exercise book. He shoved it in front of Briar and gave him a loaded look I couldn’t interpret.

“Tell her about the letters,” Logan urged, and Briar blinked before looking down at the exercise book. “We’ve all been respecting your wish for space, waiting for it to be over. Briar is a complete idiot, but he’s your idiot. Read these letters before he tells you anything else.”

I held the book gingerly, putting it to one side with a look of suspicion. A wave of exhaustion crashed over me. I didn’t have the capacity to delve into any heavier confessions of an ex-boyfriend, even though the journal called to me.

“Please read it. In your own time, of course. It won’t make up for what I did, but I hope it will give you answers to questions you have,” Briar whispered.

I hummed under my breath, knowing that as soon as I was alone, I would devour it. Something that might soothe the gaping wound inside me? A clean break didn’t seem to lessen my feelings at all. Seeing their faces, especially in this space, which used to be ours, was a sledgehammer to the heart. Instead of running, maybe I needed to desensitize myself instead.

Exposure therapy.

“We miss you, siren,” Logan sighed from across the room. I bit back the words that rose in me. Weak hearts could be hardened. I might have missed them too, but I wasn’t about to admit it. His beard twitched as a slight smile crossed his face. “You know, yours is the only touch I can handle. Being shot and drugged is out. Any suggestions? What would pull on your heartstrings the most?” he teased.

I let out a half laugh, half sob, shaking my head.

“I hate that this is how we ended,” I admitted, my walls turning brittle under the pressure.

“This isn’t the end, siren, I refuse to let it be,” he promised. The humor in his expression was replaced with intensity. Briarmumbled under his breath, and I looked down to see his eyelids drooping. Was the drug wearing off? I wanted to get out of here and recuperate. I was feeling far too weak, too swayed by their pretty words. But words were empty.

“What changed?” I asked, needing to know. “You were too afraid to tell me before, so much so that you made a deal with my family’s rival. Why are you so willing to fight for me now?”

“We were afraid if we told you, you might not believe us. Or worse, agree. Stupid us believed we could do it all on our own. But we ruined everything any way. Now we have nothing to lose. Siren,” Logan demanded, and I narrowed my eyes. “I’m yours, body, soul, heart. If it takes the rest of my life, I’ll prove it to you. Nothing is worth losing you.”

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