Page 281 of Most Eligible Billionaire CEO

“After I was done making her scream out my name God knows how many times, I just laid in bed with her in my arms. Time passed, and I was unrushed to leave.”

Rod’s brown eyes widen. “Whoa.”

“I don’t know who the fuck I am around her, man,” I admit. “Instinct, logic, and self-preservation want to push her away. Why the fuck would I go down that road again? But as much as I know I should back away, I want more of her.”

Rod’s expression is unreadable.

I keep talking.

“She was curious about my tattoo,” I continue. “I opened up. A part of me was compelled to do so because she understands what it’s like to lose a mother and the pain that ensues. I can’t remember the last time I talked about Mom or Annmarie to anyone that isn’t in my circle.” For so long, grief stole my breath and tore me apart. Most times, I felt like a drowning man fighting to remain afloat in the middle of a riptide. “After driving Jules to her house, I went back to mine and just sat in the dark for hours, reliving it all, whiskey as my only companion. Eventually, I dragged myself up to bed, but I couldn’t sleep a wink. I stared at the ceiling for a while until I gave up. I jumped into my workout clothes and headed to my home gym in the hopes of exorcising the ghosts. I guess at some point I must’ve sat on the floor because the next thing I knew, I woke up face flat against the floor.”

“Why didn’t you call your dad or your brother?” Rod asks. “Heck, why didn’t you call me?”

“It was late. Chances are, I was going to end up waking them up. The same applies to you.”

“Fair enough.”

“I’m torn.”

“About what?”

“Dark Compulsion makes it convenient to avoid intimacy––”

“Who the hell needs intimacy when you can have a good time, no strings attached?” he states. “The only drama I want in my life is the one attached to the plot of a music video.”

I chuckle.

Rod had a really rough beginning in life. He doesn’t trust very many people, and you’re lucky if he considers you a friend. As far as I know, the only woman he’s close to is his best friend, Dominika. All the other women come and go, but she’s his pillar.

“I know I’m speaking German when I say this, but when you meet the right woman, you welcome intimacy,” I affirm. “In fact, you crave it.”

“You’re right, you are speaking German,” Rod mocks. “And it turns out, I don’t understand a word of German. Thank God for that.” He’s being facetious.

“Fucker.”

He grins.

“So, what are you saying? You want more with Jules?”

“Like I said, I’m torn.” I let out a long sigh. “I told her I avoid relationships, and although she didn’t say anything, everything between us shifted afterwards. By the time I was ready to drive her back to her place, it was tense and awkward between us.” I rake my hand through my hair. “The hurt in Jules’s voice when she wished me a good night, stabbed into me. I like this woman, but fuck, I’m not equipped to give her more. Annmarie’s death broke that part of me.” Another pause, followed by a long sigh. Rod doesn’t press me. “Nothing in life is guaranteed, but I can’t go down the road of getting close to someone and then losing them.”

“Levi, now it’s my turn to speak German. I can’t spell the word relationship with the help of a good old-fashioned dictionary and Google. Heck, I wouldn’t be able to spell the word with a gun pointed to my head. It’s just not in my DNA. That said, you’re wired differently. Jesus, you were willing to put a noose around your neck at twenty-two. I’d rather jump off a tall building before I let that happen to me—”

“Your point, Wolfe?”

“If you’re torn about this girl because you’re undecided about wanting to take it further, that’s one thing, and entirely your prerogative. But if you’re torn about Jules because you’re afraid the second you get close to her, she’ll be taken away from you, that’s different. Granted, I never met your mom, but I knew Annmarie.” His brown eyes study me. “Levi, neither of them would want you to avoid relationships for the rest of your life because of their tragic death.”

And just like that, he exposes my biggest fear.

Chapter 15

Jules

“Here we are,” I say, pushing open the heavy door to the warehouse.

I invite Levi to go in first.

This is my second trip back to the office this morning.

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