Page 66 of Choose Me

"I love you too," she said, her voice filled with gratitude and relief.

Everett walked over and took Ava's other hand, giving her a gentle kiss on the forehead. "We're all going to make it through this," he told her, giving me a slight nod of thanks.

And I knew, in that moment, that we would. We had been through so much together, yet here we were, stronger than ever. We were a family, and I didn't know what that meant when we got home, but we didn't have to figure it all out now.

36

THIRTY-SIX

AVA

ONE YEAR LATER…

"Have you seen Lambie?" I asked James, who was packing ground beef into patties at the counter. Our daughter was in a full-blown temper tantrum over her missing stuffed animal while I bounced her on my hip, trying to calm her down. Her grey eyes were filled with tears, and her tiny nose was dripping snot onto the thigh of her black leggings.

"Did you check the couch?" he asked, wiping his hands on his apron.

"Yeah."

"Toy bin?"

"I checked it twice."

"Bathroom?"

"Why would it be in the bath--?" My voice trailed off, and my eyes widened as I remembered that she never went anywhere without Lambie, and I had bathed her after she dumped her milk all over her head during lunch.

The door opened, and I smiled as Everett walked in carrying a box of diapers. He set the box on the kitchen table and walked towards me with an amused grin. "I see you didn't find Lambie while I was gone."

"No. But I am going to check the bathroom. If it's not in there, I think she might combust." I joked.

"Let me take her while you go look," he offered, arms outstretched. "Come here, my sweet Izzie. Let's give Mama a break."

I exhaled as she eagerly reached for him, clinging to his neck in an embrace. He tenderly caressed the back of her head, playing with the curls below her ears, rocking her back and forth, and planting soft kisses atop her dark hair.

"Go find Lambie before the spell is broken," Everett whispered, giving me a wink and walking toward the kitchen.

As I walked to the bathroom, I couldn't help but feel so overwhelmingly grateful for my life. After the nightmare with Margaret, I almost died... again. I didn't get the magical labor and delivery experience with her as we had hoped.

Isabella Grace Buchanan was a survivor like me, spending a month in the NICU before graduating and going home. I remember the first time I saw her, James wheeled me into the NICU, where she was lying inside an incubator. She was so tiny and had tubes going into her nose, and it was hard to comprehend that I not only gave birth to such a fragile little human but that she had survived.

The nurse handed us a pink hat for Izzie to wear and explained that it would help keep her warm since she was born prematurely. We watched as they changed her diaper and weighed her on the scale, marveling at her tiny fingers and toes, the fluff of her dark hair, and her rosebud lips that puckered when she cried. We held her for the first time, tears streaming down our faces, and promised that we would never let anything happen to her.

When it was time to bring her home, the nurse walked us through how to care for her. She gave me a book with first-year tips, and I read every page, determined to be the best mother I could be. I didn't anticipate how hard it would be. The sleepless nights, the endless crying, the fear that something could go wrong. I was so exhausted that I couldn't remember the last time I had showered or had a hot meal.

Everett came home with us and fell right into the role of parent like Izzie was his. Everything was natural, and James accepted him into his new role as my friend and my lover. I was so fucking grateful for him. His faith and compassion were unprecedented. We didn't put expectations on what we all were to each other.

We just were.

If you had asked me if I ever pictured myself becoming a mother and having the unconditional love of not one man but two, I would have laughed. Little did I know that bringing Izzie home would come with its own challenges. The sleepless nights were agonizing, filled with desperate attempts to soothe her cries as my nipples cracked and bled. But with those challenges, every precious moment brought with it a wave of unconditional love that bound us together like nothing else before. I will never forget the night we discussed how our lives had changed forever and how we would move forward together.

"Baby?" James' voice whispered in my ear.

My eyes fluttered open, and I took in my surroundings. I had fallen asleep in the rocking chair in Izzie's nursery. She was fast asleep, and I was so exhausted I curled up on the chair and passed out.

"Hey," I whispered back, turning to face him.

He took my hand and led me out of the nursery and down the hallway to our bedroom. He sat me down on the edge of the bed and knelt before me, taking both my hands in his.

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