Page 6 of Touch Me

My sister’s eyes meet mine. “Cassie, it’s okay to take help when it’s offered. I know it’s a foreign concept to you,to us, but we’ve never had anyone help us a day in our lives. If we had normal parents, we would’ve had some help to get us where we are. You’ve gotten this far on your own. There’s no shame in letting someone help you, just for a little while.” She reaches over and squeezes my hand. “The universe kinda owes us.”

“Plus you can pay me back if it’ll make you feel better. You’re going to be doing all the cooking anyway,” Jess says with a smile.

“Lord knows you can’t even make toast.” I use humor to cover my discomfort, as I absently spin my glass on the table. These girls are the closest thing I have to a family. Why is it so hard for me to let them help? I know there’s no shame in it, and no one would even know but us. But I can’t. I’m stubborn, relentless, bullheaded, and often stupid in my need to prove I can make it on my own. Not that my mom and dad would even know where I live or work or how I pay my bills. But I’d know. I’ll take all the satisfaction I can, knowing I did it without them, despite them.

“You know Jace lives in town,” Jess says with the semblance of pure innocence. “He has a waterfront condo. Big place, all to himself.” She absently slides her finger through the condensation on the side of her glass, her eyes never meeting mine. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind a roommate for a couple of months. And you could cook for him and pitch in what you could afford.” She looks up, and her eyes are wide, like she’s either playing innocent or anticipating an explosion.

“No way. Jace hates me.” I can still picture the look he gave me all those years ago. Pure hatred. I’d done a damn good job of avoiding him after that night. Turned the other way when I saw him in the halls at school, avoided dinner when he was there, even if it meant I didn’t eat or had to eat a bag of chips from the gas station on the way home. I never went to the Lancasters’ when they’d invited me home for holidays unless I knew Jace wasn’t going to be there. There’s no way I can live with him, and I’m sure there’s no way he would agree to it.

Jess cocks her head and narrows her eyes at me. “He doesn’t hate you. He doesn’t hate anyone. He’s just quiet. He’s always felt judged for being antisocial, but he doesn’t hate you, I promise.” She winks.

“Even so, he would never agree to it. I’m sure he wouldn’t want anyone loitering in his space when he brought his girlfriends home anyway.” Did he have a girlfriend? Girlfriends? Women he brought home just for the night? Why do I care? He hates me, and I've done my best to not think about him for the last few years. Great, now my cheeks burn, and my heart drums against my ribs.

Every damn time.

How does he do that to me?I haven’t laid eyes on him in years.Immediately, my mind envisions living with him. Sharing a life with him, cooking dinner, walks on the beach, me in his bed.

Shit!Where did that come from?

My eyes come back to focus, and three sets of eyes peer back at me. I scrub my hands down my cheeks to mask the blush. “Boy, this champagne is strong, huh?” I fan my heated face. “Is it hot in here?”

Jess tilts her head to stifle a grin. “Jace doesn’t have a girlfriend that I know of.”Oh shit, she knows.I thought I’d done a good job of hiding my little crush for all those years, but she knows me better than anyone.

I scoff and wave her off. “He doesn’t want a roommate.” If I squeeze this glass any harder, the stem is going to snap in half.

“Why don’t I just call him tomorrow and see what he says? Plus, Hannah has a boyfriend. Do you really want to be there listening to them bang it out all the time? We all know she’s a screamer.” That’s a sound none of us will soon forget. Jess and I simultaneously shudder. The whole damn floor knew what Hannah sounded like when she got off.

I blow a breath out my puffed cheeks. “Fine. But make sure he knows this is your idea. If he says no, just drop it.”

“Good. Now let’s find some cute guys to buy us drinks so we can get stupid drunk.” Jess shimmies in her chair and bobs her head to some imaginary music. “We’re here to celebrate!” We all clink glasses in agreement. Jess and Ally share an indecipherable smirk. The girls start scoping out the bar for guys as I anxiously tap my foot under the table.

What if he agrees? Can I stay with him? Can I be around him every day without my heart beating out of my chest or my face permanently stuck on full blush? It doesn’t matter anyway. I don’t know why I’m so worried about it. He’s going to say no.

* * *

“He said yes,”Jess says, floating into the room with an extra tape gun tucked under her arm.

“He what?” I freeze, tape gun mid-air. “He said yes?” Oh god, no. I can’t.

I just can’t. Right? Like, this is a suicide mission.

I swallow past the jagged rock lodged in my throat. “It’s really not necessary, I can stay with Hannah. It’s only for a couple of months.”

Jess tosses the tape gun down and grabs a box to fold. “You don’t want to stay with Hannah, the screamer, and we both know it. Jace will be a good roommate. He’s quiet, and he works all day, so you’ll hardly see him. It’s a win-win.”

I narrow my eyes at her as she avoids my gaze. “For who?”

“For you and me. And for Jace, I guess.” She shrugs. “It’s a win-win-win.”

I fold my arms over my chest. “How so?”

“Well, you have a nice place to stay with no sex screaming. I can come visit you without hearing said sex screaming. And Jace has someone around to talk to.” She picks at the frayed edge of the box. “I worry about him sometimes.”

“Why do you worry about him? He graduated from law school and has a nice place on the water. Sounds like he’s done pretty well for himself.”

“He has. It’s just... he never comes home anymore. Ever since that fight with Dad all those years ago, things have been strained between them. He hardly comes home for the holidays or birthdays or for any reason at all. We text a lot, but I can’t help but think he’s isolating himself.” She sets the box aside and plops down on the bed. “I think he’s lonely.”

“And I’m going to fix that how?” I gesture wildly, pointing to myself. “Me?”

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