Page 8 of Touch Me

The buzzer sounds, snapping me out of my thoughts. My nerves instantly gnaw at my insides, ripping and tearing my resolve. Pushing the button to buzz them in feels like pulling the pin on a grenade and then throwing myself on top of it. Jess has the elevator code that opens directly into my foyer, so I don’t have to open a door for them. I live in the penthouse, so I have a few minutes before the elevator will make it to my floor. I dry my hands on my sweatpants and try to make it look like I’m working when they walk in. Try to act unaffected.

I look around my home, the home I made for myself, and wonder if Cassie will like it. I hired a decorator when I bought the place. I have no affinity for decorating myself, but I think they did a good job with the space.

I hope it doesn’t seem pretentious. That isn’t my goal. It’s perfect having everything I need right here. I’ve made it easy for myself to forget about the outside world—another thing Jess says I need to work on. I work from home, so it isn’t unusual for me to spend days or weeks without leaving. Cooking isn’t in my skill set, so the invention of Postmates and Uber Eats makes ordering in another way to avoid people. Not that I hate people, they just don’t seem too fond of me.

The elevator ding snaps me back to reality. I straighten the loose papers on the desk, trying to appear busy. I glance back, andthere she is. I struggle to swallow as my eyes peruse her from head to toe.

Is she glowing?

I’m so fucked.

I’ve seen pictures of Cassie over the years, but I haven’t laid eyes on her since high school. Holy shit, she’s gorgeous. All grown up and filled out in all the right places. She’s wearing black yoga pants and a green tank top that somehow makes her eyes hit me like a physical touch from across the room. Her hair’s in one of those messy bun things girls do, piled high on top of her head. With no makeup on her face and simple flip flops on her feet, I’ve never seen anyone so stunning that didn’t even try. The sweatpants I chose for todaydonothave the confinement I need for the current state of my dick.

Just perfect.

I can’t stand to greet them with my sweats tented, so I turn in my chair, away from them, and try to adjust myself.

I’m such a dickhead.

Jess looks back and forth between us, a beaming smile on her face. “Hey, big brother. You remember Cassie.”

I turn without getting up and lock eyes with her. She looks as nervous as I feel. The slight blush on her face makes me wonder if she blushes like that all over.Fuck.I’ve got to get my shit together, or I’ll be stuck in this chair for months. “Of course. Hey, Cassie. Sorry you’re homeless.”

Smooth, real smooth.

Her eyes swing to study her feet, her hands grasping the air at her sides. “Uh, yeah, thanks. It’s just until I get a paying job at the magazine. I mean, I can pay you rent and stuff.” She stalks to the window and paces back and forth in front of the terrace door, never once making eye contact. “I can freelance articles for money, that is. So I can pitch in, or whatever. And I’ll try to stay out of your way.” Now she’s just talking directly to the window, her face inches from the glass, hands squeezing and tightening. “I’m sure you like your space and all. I mean, your place is beautiful, of course, you like your space. I just mean your privacy.”

She spins around, meeting my gaze. Her teeth sink into her bottom lip and my dick jumps in my pants. She whips her head around to look at Jess and then back to me again.

“You know what, we don’t have to do this. I can find somewhere to stay for a while. You don’t need me invading your life. I’ll just go.”

With her head down and lips pursed, she marches with long strides toward the door. My brain tells me to reach out and stop her, but my body screams,don’t you dare touch her.

Jess grabs her wrist, and I heave out a sigh of relief.

What? Do I want her to stay?

“Cass, you aren’t leaving. Jace doesn’t mind at all, do you, Jace?” She’s pleading with me with her eyes to say something.

“Uh, no, no, I don’t mind. You’re more than welcome to stay here as long as you need.” I grab a pen and turn back to my laptop.

Don’t be weird. Be cool, man. Be cool.

I look at the screen like I’m studying something difficult or interesting. Neither of those things is true, but my brain screams to act unaffected. “And don’t worry about rent. It’s not a big deal.”

For once, my brain tells me something useful.

“Well, I can clean for you. And cook. I can cook. I cooked for all the girls, didn’t I, Jess?”

She is nervous and rambling, and it’s fucking adorable. “You don’t have to do anything, really.”

I avoid her eyes and opt to appear as if I’m still working. If she actually saw what I’m writing is a sketch of a little flower floating in the breeze, she would know that mybe coolact is just that. An act. I’m a mess of imploding chaos on the inside.

Jess is smiling and giddily bouncing in her shoes. She gives me a thumbs up when I glance back. I guess I passed her social conversation test of not only talking when prompted. She’s always on my ass about conversing with people. “You can’t just speak when someone asks you a question. You can talk just for the sake of talking. It’s rude to just stand there and stare.” Well, I couldn’t even stand right now if I wanted to. My dick has about as much notion of normal social conduct as I do.

I don’t know how long someone can survive with a constant hard-on, but I have a feeling I’m about to find out.

FOUR

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