Page 75 of Touch Me

“I had no idea.” She steps closer, hand outstretched to run her fingers over my skin, and I instinctively step back. “Oh right, sorry.” Her lips tuck between her teeth and she clasps her hands behind her back.

I drop my eyes to the sand and whisper, “Another way to feel.”

She crouches down to place herself in my line of sight and smiles. “They’re beautiful.”

The exchange leaves me vulnerable and embarrassed, even though I have no reason to be. “So,” I clap my hands, “let’s get out there while we still have some light left.” I need to take control of this encounter and turn it into something I’m comfortable with. Something where I’m in charge.

Am I a closet alpha?

What a stupid thought. I’m not even in charge of my own life; my diagnosis is. Why would I think I was any sort of an alpha? Ok, this train of thought will cause a serious pity spiral if I don’t get a grip. I look over at Cassie with her board under her arm, forcing her tits to squish together and jostle with every step.

Much better.

We wade into the water until we are waist deep. I pull my foot up and rest it on the board so I can tie the strap around my ankle. Cassie watches and pulls her foot up to do the same. Suddenly realizing waist deep on me is more like chest deep on her she starts to fall backward.

“Whoa,” I say, reaching out and catching her wrist to right her balance.

She looks at me, searching for a reaction.

“Cassie, I’m fine.”

“Right, of course.” She nods, breaking eye contact. “Thanks.”

She gets the strap attached and straddles the board. I do the same and start to paddle out.

“Let’s go out a bit further and see what kind of waves we get.” We have only a sliver of sunset left, but I've learned if you keep your eye on the horizon you can gauge how big the wave coming will be. “Why don’t we practice popping up on the board and see if you can stay upright,” I suggest.

We turn our boards toward the beach and wait. The first wave comes and Cassie hesitates.

“I’m sorry. I’m so nervous.” She wrings her hands.

“It’s okay. There’s no rush.” Another wave comes, and she braces herself on her hands, pulling her knees toward her chest, but never pops up.

“How about I take the next wave and you watch me?”

“But then you’ll surf all the way to shore, and I’ll be out here all alone.” She glances behind her at the open water and looks terrified.

“I’ll just pop up so you can see how it’s done, and then I’ll fall right away. I’ll paddle right back to you.”

“Okay.” She nods like she isn’t scared to death and gives me a reassuring smile.

Watching for the next wave, I paddle a little toward the shore, pull my knees up, and wait for it. Just when the wave starts to raise my board I pop up onto the balls of my feet and crouch down. I feel the wind whip my hair and cool my wet skin. As soon as I stand fully, I dive into the water and bask in the feeling of the bubbles surrounding my body. The way they travel upward, tracing a path up my body to the surface. My head breaks through the water, and I breathe a lungful of salty air.

Damn, I love this feeling.

I swim to my board, quickly orient myself, and glance back to see Cassie about fifty yards away before I paddle back to her.

“That was amazing, Jace. You look like you were born to be on the water.”

“Don’t let that fool you. It took a long time for me to be this comfortable out here.” And, damn if I didn’t love every second of it. “You ready to try?”

“Yeah, I guess I could try.” She looks back at the horizon even more unsure than she did a few minutes ago.

“Cassie, we don’t have to do this. We can ride the waves into shore and play around in the shallow water.”

“No. I can do this. Let me try it.”

There she is.

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