Page 117 of Touch Me

What?

“And that same person hacked the server, got your IP address, and traced it to find your name?”

I drop the can at my feet and meet her eyes.

“That’s what I thought.” She shakes her head and turns away. “You didn’t even give her a chance to explain, Jace. And why would you say those things to her?”

No, no, no.

“I have to say, usually I would be upset that anyone hurt you, but I’m kinda glad you’re a fucking wreck right now.” She gestures wildly around the room. “You deserve this mess. It doesn’t even come close to the mess you’ve caused, in your life and hers.”

What have I done?

“I can’t believe you. You should've seen her; she is broken. Well she was broken, now she’s just a robotic shell of Cassie.”

I race around to the entry and look for a pair of shoes. “Where? Where is she?”

“I don’t know. She won’t return my phone calls or respond to my texts. She completely shut down. I haven’t seen her since she came to my dorm three days ago after you kicked her out. You might have known that if you had answered your fucking phone. You both seem to be on the same page in the communication with Jess department.”

I pull my shoes on and race to my room to grab my wallet and keys, the hallway a blur in my periphery. “I have to find her. I have to fix this.”

“Jace, I think it might be too late.” She takes ginger steps toward me. “Maybe if you had gone to her right away, you know like I tried calling you a thousand times about. And your doorman needs to be fired. He kicked me out twice before I threatened to burn the place to the ground.”

“It’s not too late. Why would you say that?”

“Listen, she said she’s done. That you couldn’t come back from the things you said. I don’t know if she’ll even see you. Just be prepared for anything, okay?”

“Why wouldn’t she see me?”

“Are you serious? You took every insecurity she ever had and hurled it in her face. She finally accomplished something, gained some confidence, and you squashed it all with a few words. I’m not kidding you when I tell you she is broken. I’ve never seen her like this. Not when her dad left, not when her mom did a no-show to her graduation, never, Jace.”

I hang my head as images of that day flash in my mind. Her tear streaked face, her hands covering her eyes as her head shook, not believing the words coming out of my mouth. Two seconds, I could have given her two seconds to explain and none of this would be happening. Now I have to find her and convince her to hear me out.

Jess is right. She probably won’t see me. Why would she after the way I treated her? I knew her weaknesses and didn’t waste any time shoving a hot poker in her freshly healed wounds. I took her to her knees in three minutes flat.

I know her. How is there a single cell in my body that would think she’s capable of something like this? And how could I love her with every part of me and watch her crumble before my eyes as I slashed her to pieces?

I sag against the wall. “What do I do?”

Jess walks over and raises her arms to grip my shoulders. I stiffen and my spine goes ramrod straight. Her hands freeze in mid-air and her eyes widen. I drop my gaze to my feet and her arms fall at her sides.

“One day you’re going to tell me all about this.” She gestures to my taut form. “But right now, we need to find her.”

“You’re going to help me?”

“Of course I’m going to help you. She isn’t talking to me right now either.” She clasps her hands behind her back and tries to dig her toe into the tile floor. “I fucked up too.” She wipes away a single tear and meets my eyes. “I sort of took your side, at first. Until she explained it all. Yes, I realize we’re both colossal idiots for not believing in her. Now she won't talk to me.” Her voice breaks and tears run down her face. “I don’t even know if she’s okay.”

The urge to embrace her, to comfort her, is pulling at me. But with my emotional state I don’t think I can handle that right now.

“We’ll find her. You call Ally, I’m going to see if she’s at work.”

“I already went there. Her coworkers said she hasn’t been in. She told them she decided to work from home for a little while.”

“Thisis her home.” I fist my hair and tug until it hurts. “What about Ally?”

“Said she hasn’t heard from her.”

“Bullshit. She doesn’t know anyone else. Someone knows where she is.”

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