Page 38 of Fight for Me

Brody growls in his throat and throws his hands up in exasperation, before chuckling. His laugh is what freezes me in place.

I turn to him and give him the stink eye. “What’s funny?”

Brody shakes his head, and smirks. “It’s just good to see that some things don’t change. You’re still as frustrating as I remember.”

“Thanks,” I say sarcastically.

“So, as I was saying...” He throws me a look, daring me to interrupt him again. “I’m sorry for how I reacted. It’s been three years and I honestly didn’t think you’d be living right under my nose in Madison. Things that happened in Bell Ridge back then, with your father... it messed me up for a long time. I guess I’m still a little salty about it. Seeing you just brought all that back, but then...” He lifts a hand, stopping me from interjecting. “I knew I was wrong for associating you with all that shit that happened in the past. You were the victim. Again, I’m sorry, Jen.”

“Oh.” I bite my lip, not knowing how to react to his apology. It’s been a long time since anyone acknowledged, and more importantly regretted, treating me badly. “I mean, it’s cool. We’re cool.” I gesture between us with a hand. “I didn’t think I would see you again, too, least of all places at the police station.”

Brody winces. “Yeah, I’m so sorry about your mom, sweetheart.”

“Thank you. I still can’t believe this is real,” I say in a frail voice. “They think my father did it. Do you believe he’s capable of doing that?”

Brody’s face hardens before he states, “I have no doubt about it.”

I hum in my throat and lick my lips. “I still think that they will call me back to say there’s been a mistake. That it was someone else’s body. But in my heart, I know it’s her. He killed my mom...” I swipe at the tear that escapes my eye.

When I look at his sad face, I feel my own regret and pain squeeze me by the heart. Before the dam on my feelings breaks right here in the parking lot, and I have a meltdown, I quickly throw, “I have to go,” and whirl around.

Brody calls after me, but I don’t look back as I power walk to my car. Then I get out of here.

––––––––

“ARE YOU GOING BACK to the old habits, and stalking me again?” I say teasingly to Brody the next day, as I lean on his car, leaving a few feet of space between us.

I’m still shattered by my mother’s death, and not completely accepting the reality, but today has been a little better. Robert called to inform me, that in accordance with my wishes, my mother’s body was cremated, and her ashes were buried in a collective grave at Madison Cemetery. I'm not sure why it was so important to me, but the thought of my mom finally being able to rest in peace brought me immense relief.

“Checking on you is not the same as stalking.” Brody crosses his arms and throws me a look.

I smile coyly at him. “Just admit already that you’re still obsessed with me.”

Brody snorts but looks to the side without answering for a second, then looks back at me with a more serious expression as he changes the subject. “How are you holding up?”

I take a breath and rub my arms when a shiver runs through me. “I’ve been better. Honestly, I’m not sure how I feel. In a way, I lost my mom a long time ago. I’m torn about the whole thing. In one moment, I feel sad and heartbroken, and betrayed and hateful a second later. I feel like I should only hate my father. But if I’m honest, sometimes I hate both of them equally,” I say shamefully, and concentrate on Brody’s sad eyes as he listens to me studiously. “I obviously had my issues with Mom, she wasn’t perfect and she’s hurt me. You know all that. I guess somewhere in the back of my head, I thought there will come a time when she comes begging for my forgiveness, it’s messed up...”

Brody lifts his hand to squeeze my shoulder in support, and then drops it when I look down.

He clears his throat and says, “I don’t know if this will be any consolation, but I worked with Robert before and he is a great detective. If anyone can catch your bastard father, it’s him. And you can tell that he’s fully committed to the case.”

“Yeah, maybe... Aren’t you working on the case too?” I ask and frown when Brody shakes his head with an uncomfortable expression on his face.

“No, uh.” He scratches his head. “I’m not working for the FBI anymore. Actually, that’s one of the things I wanted to talk about. I think there are still some facts that you need to know. I mean... about what happened back then. Why I wasn’t there...”

“Oh, I’m not sure...” I start, backing away slightly.

Brody lifts his hands in a pleading gesture. “Please, Jen. We could go get something to eat and if I could just explain...”

“You don’t have to explain anything,” I reply stubbornly.

He straightens from the car and throws angrily, “But I need to, Jen! I can’t fucking go on living like this. The thought that I couldn’t be there for you still kills me. The idea of you believing that I abandoned you or something, rips me apart every goddamn day!”

I’m so taken aback by this sudden display of emotion on Brody’s part that I don’t even take notice of him getting closer. I look up at him in question, when he’s suddenly right in front of me.

“Just one meal. We talk. I tell you everything that went down. And if you decide you’re done with me, then we’ll be done. That’s all I’m asking, Jen.”

“I can’t,” I say regretfully, and when Brody opens his mouth to speak, I rush to reassure him. “Not because I don’t want to, okay? I just... I need to get back home,” I step around him, to leave more space between us, and breathe. “Maybe some other time, alright?”

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