Page 2 of Fight or Flight

Where is she? Will she come back for me? Can I keep going without her presence calming me down?

My father clears his throat to get my attention and shifts uncomfortably behind the wheel. Sometimes, I feel sorry for the guy when I see his pathetic attempts at parenting.

He didn’t sign up for a life with a crazy wife, so he ran as far as he could, leaving my mom to fend for herself. What he probably didn’t expect was getting a younger supplement on his doorstep several years later.

I admit that I can see he cares, and he tried to get to know me at first, but instead of getting closer, we drifted further and further apart.

So, yeah, usually I feel sorry for him when I see him fidgeting like he is now.

But now I don’t. Not after I told him about Jenny, and he didn’t believe me. Not after I begged him to look for her after Brody got roasted in that warehouse by that monster. Not after I lost my only friend. The only light in my otherwise bleak reality.

“Claire... I worry about you. Your latest behavior has shown that your disease is getting worse,” he licks his lips and glances at me quickly before looking ahead again. “Maybe we should call Doctor Starwood...”

“No,” I say firmly, my voice colder than usual. “You know what we should do, though, Dad? We should stop making everything in my life about the disease, as you like to call it. Not everything I do or say is because of being fucking bipolar! I’ve got mood swings, I’m not retarded. But you’re treating me like I’m incapable of making judgments or understanding reality. Does it get jumbled here sometimes?” I point to my forehead. “Yes, it does. But I’m still a person. My feelings are still valid. And what is happening in my life is fucking true. My friend is most probably in danger right as we’re talking, and I can’t do anything about it. And you'll be sitting there, along with Ms. Edwards, trying to convince me that it’s all in my head!”

“Claire... I get that you are upset. But Sheriff Wallace and his wife are missing now, too. We don’t know what happened there or if Jennifer was somehow involved in their disappearance...” he tries to convince me in a soothing tone, but I’ve had enough.

Before he can say another word, I grab my bag and open the passenger door.

“Yeah, sure, and I’m the delusional one here...” I throw sarcastically before I slam the door with enough force to shake the vehicle.

I’m literally fuming as I march toward the school entrance, slamming into whoever’s in my way.

I knock into some guy, almost taking us both to the ground.

“Hey! Watch it, you freak!” He yells after me, but I don’t even spare him a glance as I straighten myself and continue on my way even faster.

I walk into the girl's bathroom and lock myself in the stall, ignoring the bell announcing the start of the first period.

My mind is so messed up right now that I’m not even able to shed a tear. My arms shake as I try to get rid of the need to literally murder someone. The faces of people who let me down show in my mind on a constant loop.

I stopped taking my meds a couple of weeks ago, thinking I needed to maintain the sharpness of my mind with everything happening. But now I am starting to think that maybe it was a mistake. Jenny is not here to help me get through it all. There’s nothing to outbalance the darkness that’s been swallowing me whole, and it’s been harder and harder to even see the way out of the dark plunge.

There’s one way out of this.

No! No.

Jenny needs me. I promised her that I would wait. If she comes back... No. When she comes back, I will be here, ready to welcome her. She’s probably somewhere close, just waiting for the dust to settle and for her father to get arrested so that she can come back safely.

She’ll come back. I know it in my heart that I will see her again.

I’m almost calm when I hear the bell ringing after the end of the first class. Shit, I’ve been here longer than I thought. Oh, well, it’s not like I care about school anymore. But, still, I better get to the second period.

I’m just thinking about that when I hear the doors to the bathroom open and a few vaguely familiar female voices carrying in.

“I don’t believe that, Lisa. Marcus is just talking out of his ass because he’s seeking attention...”

“Not this time. He was too smug about it...” the other girl replies, and I hold my breath, listening to the group of girls that, I thought, were my friends at some point.

“What do you think, Ella? Your dad was there, right? Maybe he mentioned something,” the girl named Lisa asks.

There’s silence for a few seconds, and I feel my whole body tensing because now I have a very good indication of what they are talking about.

Ella Diaz is the daughter of the police officer who supposedly saved Damon Brody’s life. I never actually thought about speaking to her about it. I was too focused on the fact that Jenny was missing. Too focused on how it affects me.

“Well... My dad would kill me if he knew we’re gossiping about it...” Ella sounds unsure, and I hear footsteps and some shuffling before the other voice pipes in.

“Don’t be like that, El. For once, something interesting happens in Bell Ridge. I want to know all the juicy bits before the town goes asleep again,” another excited voice pipes in.

---