Page 78 of Wasted Oil

“Hi Ms. How can we help?”

“Hi yes, the table for Alvarez?”

“Ah yes, right this way.” The hostess leads the way to the back where only a few people are seated. In my view, I can see my mother nursing a glass of red wine and my father has his back turned towards the door, a power move, as he has always put it.

The dinner couldn’t be any more awkward, the small talk is forced. If anyonewould see us we would look like any typical family having dinner but for people that knew us they would be able to see the clear tension that filled the room.

“Amor, you should’ve seen her last night. The people there loved her. She really is a rockstar!”

My father doesn’t say anything for several minutes just keeps eating his steak.

“No, she’s not. I'm positive that rockstars don’t play in little run down bars and works at a diner during the week.”

Strike one.

“Amor,” it was more of a warning from my mother.

“I'm just saying, any real rockstar or musician wouldn’t be wasting their time.”

Strike Two.

“Let me ask you, Melanie, What does it feel like to know that you have failed?”

Strike Three.

"I don't know Andres, why don't you ask yourself that? I mean after all, you failed at being a husband and a father? I guess monkey see monkey do.” It has seems the whole world goes still, this is the deep breath before the plunge into the water.

"Callate tu boca. I have your life in my hands, at this very moment. I can break you and make you do what I want you to do. You think I failed? Please, I don’t give a rats ass about being a father. You were a mistake that I should’ve pushed your mom to abort when we found out you were a girl. The only thing I have failed at is thinking you could take over the company.”

And there's that plunge of water that was waiting for me at the end.

Mistake? I was just a mistake that he made.

“Andres, Por favor. No more. We will lose her for good this time if you don’t stop.” We are in an intense stare down as my mother tries to reason with him. But it all a loss. I'm done. He has lost me, he did the moment that thought crossed his mind.

"And that boyfriend of yours, don’t worry I didn’t hurt him to make him bend to my will. I guess he was just tired of his farm going down hill. The farm was sold to me yesterday.”

No, that can’t be. Rhett would never. He would rather die fighting than give him the farm.

“You lie.”

He just smirks bringing his glass of wine up taking a sip.

“Why don’t you call him? Oh wait, he saw you for what you really are. Nothing but a whore. Yeah Mija, I heard what happened. I knew it was only a matter of time before he kicked you to the curb like I did.”

I have no words, I'm stuck. Rising from my seat without a word I walk straight out the door not looking back.

Weak.

Both of them.

My mother for not standing up for me and my father for stooping low.

“What does it feel like to know you have failed?”

I hear faintly, from behind but instead of stopping I keep moving through the parking lot and climb into my Uber I searched for during my father’s big speech.

I sit in silence trying to understand why my father hates me so much. I have never and will never know the true meaning of a fathers love. Pain pricks at the corner of my eyes. The whole ride home I just stared out the window watching the town pass me by.

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