Page 23 of Wasted Oil

On my drive back home I can’t stop thinking of Mels lips on mine, her hands on me, mine all over hers and how I wanted so badly to explore even more with her. She was fully welcoming me in. She was jealous and full on admitted it. How can I be so stupid? Of course I knew that but that’s what happens when thinking with the wrong head. Tomorrow I’m going to tell her exactly how I feel, how I’ve always felt about her and how much I want this. I know I’m going to college but the university is only two hours away and she’s still planning to take a gap year to work on her writing and music.

As I pull into my driveway I put my truck in park and bring out my phone.

Me: Hey beautiful. I was thinking, can we talk tomorrow I have a question for you?

Boots:You can always talk to me, Cowboy. See you tomorrow <3

"Hey buddy can I get help over here?” Shaking my head free of the memory that is stained in my mind, I grab the towel from the bar and turn to the guy with a scolding stare as if he’s been trying to get my attention for awhile.

"Sorry about that, what can I get you my guy?” He opts for two bottled bud lights and puts money on the bar top.

"Keep the change.” he says.

“Thank you, sir.” he nods and turns around. I gather the bills wiping down where the ice and water drops have fallen from the bottles dragged out of the ice chest. Flipping the towel over to rest on my shoulder, I turn to the cash register put in the order and deposit thecash pocketing the receipt for my tips for when I clock out later.

Jansens is starting to get pretty crowded and the noise can surely be heard well down into town I’m sure. I’ve been debating if I should stay after my shift is over or give this chick Alex has for me a shot, lord knows it’s been awhile since I’ve gotten laid. I mean that’s all I’m really wanting, no long term commitment. At least since Bailey.

I had Bailey for about two years. In my opinion it was two years too long. I thought she understood me. But you know women they always say ‘oh I won’t want more just as long as I can have you in any way possible that’s enough for me’. Of course at the time of this conversation I had her on the kitchen counter in just a bra, a jean skirt with no underwear on along with my shirt thrown, jeans resting around my ankles and us both very much drunk. Not my finest moment, probably. Don’t get me wrong, Bailey is a great girl. She was hot, we had fun and we never fought. We basically got into a comfortable routine of losing ourselves in one another when we would be mad at the world. Heraggravated with her parents for pushing law school on her when she just wants to explore the world, 'Chasing summer’ is what she said.

For me, it felt like the whole world was weighing down on me, after losing my dad. I became the man of the farm, but that’s not what really worries me, it’s the haunting thought around his death of how nothing adds up. I lose my mind at this feeling in the pit of my stomach that it wasn’t a freak accident that he was murdered. What makes my anger really rise is the thought of the person who I find responsible for it…Andres Alvarez, the Oil King of our county.

Where I actually lose it is the one person connected to him that was once my whole world.

I lost my dad and my best friend both on the same day, and what hurts most is I didn’t get to say goodbye to either of them.

Two months ago Bailey told me she was falling in love with me more than just as a friend with benefits. We’ve said the casual love you to one another but it was merely a relationship with no end game. I thought she was going to have this huge ass meltdown but she was actually cool with me saying I still stood where I was in the beginning and that we just need to stop because it's not fair to her. She didn’t hurt me. I’ve actually confided in her about the one that did get away, the great white buffalo in my life.

She could never replace the friendship Mel and I shared. No one can, but it was nice to talk about it freely without the constant badgering I get from Alex telling me I was the idiot that waited til we graduated, and that I had chance after chance to do something about it for over two decades of us all going to school and growing up together. Usually, it always ended with her calling us chicken shits.

"Bucky, are you off yet?” I turn my head to see Alex sporting her signature hairstyle.

"Hi to you too Bangs.” I say on a laugh with a side smile.

"Hi,” she says, folding her hands with an exaggerated smile.

“Yes I’m off just figured I’d wait to get us our drinks.” I try to look around her to see if this chick she brought is with her but no luck.

“So what will it be white claw for Johnny, Long Island for you and let me guess a mikes hard for your friend? I sarcastically ask.

“Funny… yes to the white claw, I’ll actually take a shot of José then just a michelob ultra, and a—— rustynailplease.”

I pause at the last mentioned drink. Looking up at Alex’s face I see her evil smile without actually smiling. To add to that, she winks at me. What is she getting at? Not too many people order that drink. Actually, I haven’t met anyone who orders it other than one person. I suddenly start to move slower getting the beverages together.

To try and calm my racing heart I grab two shot glasses and pour two tequila shots. We both take our glasses in hand.

"You really are Lucifer, you know that.” I say.

"No one will ever compare to Tom Ellis, but I’ll gladly take pride in following in his footsteps. Happy early Birthday Bucky!" We cheered and threw our drinks back and just for fun I take another before grabbing my black stetson from behind the register.

It's been five years since I’ve seen Mel, well talked to her. I’ve done my share of social media creeping. I tried calling after I found out she had left without a goodbye. My anger started boiling when she had put me through to her voicemail more than once. So, when she didn’t answer I would leave a message saying I missed her and on days when I was feeling low, I would beg for her to answer or call back and always got nothing. Those voicemails started just becoming happy birthdays, merry Christmas and happy new year. Then, when I met Bailey, I stopped. I'm so mad at Mel for leaving the way she did and ghosting me at the same time, but I also missed her.

Making our way through the crowd, I follow Alex to the table top. The closer we get, I feel this ache in my chest and what feels like a rock stuck in my throat. I take a swig of my beer to try and clear the blockage but find it leaving more of a burning path. Nauseous is what I feel along with unhinged nerves that I’m about to see the one who solemnly broke my heart and didn’t look back.

I catch a glimpse of long black curled hair when looking over Alex’s shoulder.

I can't help my wandering eyes falling down to her white tank top, wrangler jeans hugging all the right places from behind. I roll my lips inward to a thin line and bring my beer back to my lips and before I take a sip I notice the beat-down pointed cowboy boots hidden under her jeans. Good to see that some things haven’t changed with her, other than her body filling out. A body I wouldn’t be opposed to getting my hands all over. Again, and more.

We still didn’t get to finish what we started in the bed of my truck. I’ve had dreams of how it would have played out if we didn’t get interrupted. With my hands creeping up her shirt under her bra, taking her breast in my hand and pinching her nipple between my fingers to hear her sweet soft moan against my lips. Our tongues dancing with one another, her hand cupping my hardened cock over my jeans then swings her leg over to straddle me with slow grinding movements that sends shockwaves through every inch of me. I reach my hands around landing on her ass and I squeeze bringing her chest closer to mine taking our kiss deeper. I can never get past that point in my dream due to the lack of exploring I didn’t get to do. So it always resulted in me rubbing one out followed by a cold shower.

---