Page 18 of Winter Break Up

Looking down at my hands as they roll out dough, I keep quiet. I could listen to him talk for hours, and it’s not often these days that I get to.

“Well, we hope you go somewhere on the East Coast so it’s easier to visit. I’ll have to come get you set up in whatever house you buy in whatever city.” Mom pats his cheek like he’s one of her own.

Mercer chuckles. “You’re always spoiling me. I’ll be sad to leave Miami if that’s the case, but checking out a new city will be cool. Meeting new people, exploring new areas.”

New, new, new. It’s all I hear. Mercer is more than ready to flip the page and start a fresh chapter, and here I’ve been stuck in my head about the old one from the moment I saw him a week ago. I’ve been obsessing over the past, wishing I’d done it differently, while all he cares about is moving on from his old and current life.

Of course, that’s what he wants. No way has he been waiting around, hoping we’ll give it one more go. He probably wanted to say something completely different before Charlie interrupted us on the radio yesterday, and the rose-colored glasses I’ve been tinting everything with have led me astray.

We are all on the precipice of our next chapter, and it would be wise for me to remember that. In a year’s time, I’ll have to see Mercer’s name and picture everywhere, and maybe those pictures will feature a woman in them.

My nose burns with tears that make no sense, but I’ve been more emotional lately than I’ve ever been in my life. The perks of actually feeling again, rather than being so numb I couldn’t notice anything around me.

Except right now, I wish I could turn it all off. It would be easier with my biggest mistake always staring me straight in the face.

9

EMILY

A college winter break in Queenwood wouldn’t be complete if Genny didn’t drag me out to all the dive bars in our hometown.

The tradition of traipsing out in the cold to places where our old classmates now serve alcoholic beverages behind sticky counters is one that my childhood best friend refuses to give up, even if I beg her not to make me go. Nothing about sitting in a building full of former playground peers gets me jazzed up, even if the idea of drowning my confusion in a glass of wine piques my interest right about now.

But alas, she’s too persuasive, and I am too bored to sit at home, so here I am. Gen’s faux fur coat leads the way into Baker’s, a sports bar in the middle of town that boasts six televisions with various games and a deal on nachos and margaritas.

The bar is already packed with people, most of them peers of ours from school, and the DJ is spinning a two-thousands pop hit that reminds me of the time I had one too many wine coolers as a seventeen-year-old. Christmas decorations are strung up and down the bar while tinsel, streamers, and mistletoe hang from the exposed beams above. It’s so cold outside that I think they’re calling for snow, but there is some fake kind dusting the floor of this bar right now. I’m sure it’ll be sticky and dirty by night’s end.

“It smells like a teen clothing store in here.” Gen waves a hand in front of her nose.

“That’s what you get for coming to a place where every twenty-something is trying to get laid by his high school crush. They’re drowning in cologne.” I shrug out of my coat because it’s already a furnace in this place.

Luckily, Gen finds us a table, and we place an order for two margaritas.

“Thanks for coming out tonight. I feel like we don’t get to see each other enough, and even if it’s at hometown bars, I’m glad we’re getting out.”

A warmth settles in my chest, and I reach for her hand. “Me too. I’ve missed you. I might even let you get me drunk enough that you get me out on the dance floor tonight.”

While I love music, I will never be the first one shaking my ass in the middle of the floor. Genny knows it takes me a good amount of liquor to get out there, and I have a feeling tonight she’s going to try to accomplish that.

“Oh, I’m definitely requesting that song we made up a dance to in eighth grade and dragging you out there.”

My palm hits my forehead. “Please, don’t remind me. I recall piggybacks being involved in that choreography.”

“Hope your back is still as good as it was when we were twelve.” She grins.

A gaggle of people pass our table, and one bumps into Genny’s chair.

“Laine? No way, I haven’t seen you in forever!” Gen jumps up from our high-top to hug a brunette with teal streaks running through her hair.

Laine Broadbent had been in a few of my classes and was decent enough, but we were never close. Gen, however, is like my brother in that she has this charming personality that endears her to everyone.

“It’s so good to see you! I didn’t realize you were home from your trip, I’ve been stalking your social media. It looked incredible,” Laine gushes, and I’m sure half our high school followed Gen’s once-in-a-lifetime study abroad trip.

Laine’s friends Nicole, Kayla, and Erica walk over with two unfamiliar men and one guy I notice from high school. Maybe his name is Brian, but I can’t remember. I think he’s a few years younger than us, but there are too many people from too many grades of my high school in here to keep all of them straight.

“Hey, how are you guys?” We all greet each other and then stand awkwardly for the second it takes for small talk to kick in.

“So, you guys home until January, too?” I ask, going for the easy topic of conversation.

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