Page 15 of Winter Break Up

“Yes, dear, thank you. It’s our fiftieth anniversary this Christmas and we want to pick out the perfect tree. We got engaged on a tree farm, didn’t you know?” Rita, the wife, gives her husband a dreamy-eyed look as she drops this personal information on us.

I find it charming how they want to impart this story to us, and when I look over at Em, she seems smitten with them.

“You did? How sweet. Did he get down on one knee?” She dismounts the vehicle and walks to where the three of us are standing.

A red pom-pom hat sits atop her head, and that little burst of color on her makes it impossible not to stare.

“Of course I did! Had the ring on this little ornament I hung on the perfect tree. She cried immediately and I could barely get the words out, I was shaking so much. Fifty years and a lot of life since, and I’d do it all over again.” Steve looks at his wife with adoration and love.

Rita waves him off like she’s embarrassed but pleasantly charmed, and I can’t help but fix my gaze on Emily. So many of our moments happened here on this tree farm, and in another life, maybe I’d have gotten down on one knee the same way Steve had.

“I see that look, young man. It’s exactly how I looked at my Rita while I was trying to convince her father to let me take her on a date. Hiding your intentions never gets you anywhere, even if they’re not wholesome.” Steve winks at me.

“Oh no, we’re not …” Emily shakes her head.

Rita pats her arm. “It’s okay, dear. Sometimes we don’t want to admit out loud how we feel about these men because their egos are already big. But we both see you looking.”

They call us out like only people their age can, with zero filter or shame.

The four of us spend the next half an hour trekking through the rows of trees while Rita or Steve rule out this tree or that until we find the one they both agree on. It’s thirty minutes of the two of them imparting wisdom on us, and it’s the best time I’ve had in a long time.

It doesn’t escape me that it’s mostly because Emily is next to me while they talk about love and marriage.

As soon as we assist them to the front of the farm, Rita and Steve turn to bid us farewell.

“Thank you so much for helping us today. And remember, proposing at a tree farm is the way to go.” Steve winks at me as Em stands right at my side.

I swear, I might be blushing. “The pleasure was all ours.”

“That boy is smitten with you, don’t let him get away,” Rita whispers to Em, but she might as well be shouting.

The two of us are left standing there awkwardly as Charlie goes to help them string the tree to the roof of their car.

“Remember the year we convinced that total grinch to buy the biggest tree? He looked so happy.” Em smiles to herself, and I wish she were directing that expression at me.

God, she is so incredibly beautiful. I often find myself having to blink out of a trance around her.

“We were always a good team.” Turning away so she doesn’t see the double entendre all over my face, I walk to the four-wheeler to go back out to the rows of trees.

“We were.” Her voice is quiet over the hum of the engine.

Maybe she doesn’t think I heard it. But I did, and those two words do dangerous things to my heart, which is why I switch the engine off.

“After that day of work, we went out to Starlight Hill. Remember that?” Ducking my head as I face her, Em is having a hard time meeting my eyes.

“Of course I do.” She gulps.

Obviously, we’re both thinking about that night, the one that took us from teenagers who were dating to something more. It was the night I fell in love with her, head over heels, and would have fought anyone to keep her forever. After a hard day’s work at the tree farm, I asked Emily if she wanted to go up to Starlight Hill with me. The teenage make-out spot was notorious for our peers committing high jinks, and sure, I always wanted Em in that way, but I thought it would be romantic to see the stars and the lights of New York City on the horizon.

I never banked on her asking me to take her back to my house. But the moment we got under the stars, we’d collided. Our lips fused, my car windows fogged up, and by the time Em said she was ready for me to take her virginity, half our clothes were off. What she didn’t know was that I’d never done that with anyone either.

I’ll never get the look on her face when I told her out of my mind. She’d been shocked, emotional, and relieved, and we both agreed this was the way it was meant to be. Since my grandfather slept like the dead and I didn’t want to have sex in the back of my truck for either of our first times, I took her back to my childhood bedroom.

That night … God, it had been the singular best moment of my life. Not only in the way all teenage boys fantasize about sex, although, yeah, it was fucking awesome, but because it was with her. Emily Palmer was the girl of my dreams, and that night I felt invincible.

“I thought we were going to light that forest on fire.” Chuckling to myself, I try not to discern what she’s thinking.

Maybe I don’t want to know. If Emily isn’t thinking about that night the same way I always have, I couldn’t take it.

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