Page 36 of Winter Break Up

Now that we are at this stage in our lives, holidays like this seem to grow more precious. Thinking that there will come a day when he won’t be here to serenade me with his rendition of “Jingle Bells” makes me choke on the air in my lungs.

No matter what other complicated shit I have going, I need to remember that I am here to spend time with him.

Even if it feels like a doomsday clock is ticking down on my time with Emily, everything else can wait.

16

MERCER

Standing in the middle of the field, grass under my cleats, the cheer of thousands of fans … it’s the place on this earth that I feel most in tune with myself.

So, being in this soccer bubble in Queenwood, the same one I’ve trained at for high school in the winters, while Emily dribbles a ball next to where I’m stretching? Yeah, this is pretty much the center of my fucking universe.

When I suggested getting some drills and shots in at the white blow-up building with three turf fields outside our hometown, I didn’t think she’d want to accompany me. It reminds me of the winters in high school when she’d come to watch me practice with the private trainer here. I’d get so fucking distracted by the pencils stuck in her hair as she studied on the bleachers.

So distracted that I’d race to take them out as we made out in the parking lot after my sessions.

Being back in our hometown and involved with Em is like being transported to our past. Neither of us says shit about the heartbreak that’s coming for us. We don’t talk about the future. We just focus on what feels good, like she proposed, and rewrite old memories as our older selves.

The other night, we relived the memory of us losing our virginity at Starlight Hill. Except we’re older, with much more experience, and Em made me see goddamn stars as she rode me in the back of my truck. As far as winter flings go, this is probably everything anyone could ask for. It’s been a week since we first made the agreement on the tubing trip, and I can’t even lie; this is the happiest I’ve been in years.

So, the fact we’re once again sleeping together, having pillow talk, and she wants to kick around with me? Yeah, I hit the fucking lottery.

“Am I more of a midfielder or a striker? It’s been so long since I played.” Emily attempts to dribble the ball but only gets three kicks in before it goes out of reach, and she’s diving for it.

Effortlessly, my feet carry into action, dribbling the ball back and forth between my knees, feet, and head as I talk like I’m not moving at all. This activity is second nature for me, and she pouts at how easy it comes.

“You’re definitely a midfielder or a back, leave the striking to me.” I wink at her, cockier in my natural element.

Heading the ball into the net on the other side of the field, I break into a sprint and swerve around her at the last second.

“All right, hotshot. We get it, you’re going pro. You’re going to run circles around me, no need to show off.”

“But showing off for you is one of my favorite pastimes.” I throw her a smirk as I jog backward down the field in search of the ball I kicked.

“I will admit, it does get me a little hot and bothered being back here with sexy college Mercer. He’s got muscles that teenage Mercer never did.” Em flips over, gathers her hair up in her hands, and comes back up to secure it with a hair tie.

The action has my entire body standing at attention. From the skintight black athletic leggings to the cropped sweatshirt to the way her body moves as she jogs and kicks around with me.

Yeah, this whole night is very much fucking doing it for me.

“Glad that time in the gym has paid off in some fashion,” I tease.

“So, what’re we playing for? Who has to buy dinner?” she muses, stretching her arms over her head as she walks to where I stand at the goal.

“How about who goes down on who first?” I murmur just loud enough for her to hear.

Em’s cheeks burst with a pink blush, and it’s almost enough to make me want to drag her to the locker room.

I never get to hear her response because an obnoxious voice yells, “Yo! First person to five goals makes the losers buy ice cream from Big Chad’s!”

The one chink in the armor to this solid hangout with Emily? The fact that her brother asked to tag along. Charlie heard me ask her if she wanted to come to the bubble and immediately counted himself in. Of course, he has no idea this is a semi-date because that would mean we weren’t lying to her brother and my best friend, respectively.

I curse myself every second for laying down that rule. Except somewhere in the back of my mind, I know it’ll pay off when my relationship with my best friend isn’t ruined after his sister breaks my heart for the second time.

Emily hops away from me, skipping across the white lines of the field as she sends her brother a thumbs-up. “Then you better be prepared to buy me a huge freaking sundae.”

“You wish. You’ve always been terrible at soccer.” Charlie snickers as he sets his stuff down and ties on some turf shoes. “Mercy, you kick her ass yet?”

---