Page 5 of The Pucking Kiss

“If you really were my best friend, then you wouldn’t like the guy I want,” she said, squaring me up. It was clear that she wasn’t going to let the whole Bryan thing go so easily.

“So, basically, I’m your best friend as long as I’m a doormat for you?” I countered.

“What else are you good for?”

“This is ridiculous,” I shook my head. “I’m sick of this, Kathy. I’m sick of you always thinking that you’re better than me. Because you’re really not.”

“Did your grandma tell you that?” Kathy smirked.

“Don’t bring her into this.”

“I know she makes you feel like you’re so special. But she just says that because she has to. Face it, Romai. You’re a loser. No guy even bats an eye in your direction. And you thought you could get Bryan? Ha.”

I bit down sharply on my lower lip, so hard that it brought back the taste of blood. “Stop it, Kathy. You’re being overly personal now.”

“No. I think I need to drop you like the baggage you are,” she said, throwing my journal to the side. “After all, I don’t need you anymore. We aren’t fifteen anymore.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that we are done. I don’t want to be associated with a loser like you anymore,” Kathy said, “Especially now that I know you wanted to betray me all this time by liking Bryan. I’m leaving. Don’t bother calling me because I’ll delete your number.”

Kathy stormed out of my room, leaving me stunned and speechless. Did I really just lose my best friend like that?

“Hey, everything okay?” my grandfather came to my room, hearing all the commotion that Kathy had created.

I nodded, not wanting him to see me upset, and faked a smile that did not reach my eyes. “It’s fine. She just had to leave early.”

He shot back a look that told me that he wasn’t quite convinced by my answer. “If you say so.”

“It’s okay, Granddad,” I assured him, “I just need some time alone if that’s okay.”

“Okay, kiddo. But don’t worry yourself too much, alright?”

As soon as he shut the door, I collapsed into a puddle on my bed. The journal that Kathy had read lay discarded on the side of the bed. Tears began to pool into my eyes as I finally began to register what had just happened.

How could Kathy have that opinion of me? She was meant to be my best friend in the whole world, and she had such vicious opinions about me.

With shaking hands, I reached out to grab the photograph of my parents that lay on my bedside table. I always turned to them whenever I felt like my life was going to be shit. And right now, it felt like everything had taken a turn for the worse.

“It’s going to be okay,” I reminded myself. But then, a stabbing sense of loneliness began to take over me.

First, I had lost my mom and dad in a senseless accident. And now I lost my best friend too.

In what universe was this fair?

I clutched the photo against my chest tightly as though I was trying to seek some human warmth from the glass frame. Outside, the weather had taken a turn for the worst, and I could now hear the rain pattering against my window.

“Perfect,” I muttered to myself in a sarcastic tone, “The weather finally matches what I feel on the inside.”

My mind trailed back to what Kathy had told me about Bryan being too out of my league. Considering how he bullied me any chance he got, anyone would tell me I was crazy for having a crush on him.

But the reality was that ever since we were little kids, I had a soft spot for Bryan. In fact, he had been the first guy ever to hold my hand. He had done that when he was just seven years old.

The next year, my life changed drastically. Before my parent’s accident, I used to be social, and everyone used to like me at school, including Bryan. But after the accident, I became a shell of my former personality. My anxiety made it difficult for me to enjoy things normally, as other children did, and I developed a shy personality.

Soon, the other kids began to notice and labeled me as the ‘weirdo’ in the class. That was the end of our friendship.

“I just wish things weren’t like this,” I whispered to myself, knowing all too well that it didn’t make a difference to what I wanted.

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