Page 85 of Always the Bridesmaid

Despite my protests, she pushes herself up from the chair and welcomes me with open arms. Her hold is weak of late but always warming and welcome.

‘It’s wonderful to see you,’ she says, as she always does. ‘Shall I make tea?’

‘I’d love tea,’ I tell her, ‘but I’ll make it. You settle yourself back down and open the gift I’ve bought you. It might be useful to have alongside your tea.’

I wink and she smiles, making the appropriate noises and rubbing her tummy.

I leave her opening her gift from the presentation bag I have put it in, her crochet now set aside on the coffee table, and head into the kitchen to make, ironically, a pot of English breakfast tea.

I use the time to gather myself because just seeing Greta has got me on edge.

When I return to the lounge, she is already chewing on a soft, crumbly cookie.

‘These are delicious,’ she says. ‘You have to try one.’

I accept a cookie and dunk it in my tea. As I do, I hear Charlie’s voice telling me that people have got etiquette all wrong and it’s actually criminal to not dunk a biscuit (as he would say) in your brew.

‘How was your trip?’ Greta asks.

Out of respect for my mother-in-law, I don’t give her the mundane, rehearsed response I have given to everyone else. I give her the details. I talk her through our days in the house, my trip to London with Charlie to get the Elvis suit from Joe Elvis – this makes her laugh and say, affectionately, ‘That’s Jake, always acting the fool.’ I tell her about the wedding and about my time in London the following week.

I watch her expressions closely as I repeatedly mention Charlie's name and I desperately want to know her thoughts. I end the story at dinner in The Shard, then leave out the details of what came afterward.

When I finish speaking, Greta rests back in her seat, her fingers interlaced and resting on her stomach. I can almost hear the cogs whirring in her mind.

I need her to speak. I need her to speak on behalf of Danny. Part of me wants her to be cross with me because then I’ll know she’s being honest. I love Greta. I love Danny. I’d hate to upset either of them. Greta is his mother and right now, I feel like she is his voice too and I know that is why it has taken me three weeks to deliver a jar of cookies to her.

I sip my tea and place my china cup back down on the matching saucer in my hand, the way Greta insists we drink our tea. The crockery chimes, exposing my trembling fingers.

Eventually, she reaches for the jar of cookies and holds it out to me with both hands. I take another cookie, still waiting and watching.

She sits back in her chair again and I hold my breath as she opens her mouth for the first time in a while.

‘Is he a nice man, this Charlie?’

I’m not sure how to respond. I opt for honesty.

‘He’s sweet and thoughtful. Insanely grouchy. Eats and drinks too much. And he makes me laugh, all the time.’

‘Then, I think it’s time you gave another man a chance.’

I exhale. I wasn’t sure what I expected to hear but I don’t think that was it.

‘I love my son, Sarah, but I also love you as my daughter. I’ve been waiting a long time to hear you talk about another man and I won’t pretend it’s not painful to hear. I wish that you and Danny could have lived a long and happy life together but God had a different plan for our boy. That doesn’t mean that you should be alone for the rest of your days.

‘My husband died too late in life for me to have another companion but you’re a young girl with a long life ahead of you. All that I would ask, and all that Danny would ask, is that you meet a good man, who makes you smile and laugh.’

I bite my lip in a bid to suppress the overwhelming guilt, grief and joy because someone who loves me and who loves Danny is finally seeing me. Someone who understands the trepidation and conflict I feel and doesn’t hate me for it.

‘Do you know how I know that Charlie is a good man, Sarah?’ Greta says.

I shake my head.

‘Because you’ve never mentioned another man to me before and the second you did, I knew that you have fallen in love again.’

I have?

I have.

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