Page 60 of Always the Bridesmaid

I had the best sleep ever. After saying goodbye to Charlie, I was in my stretchy pajama bottoms and sinking into the mattress within minutes. I had a full tummy, I was comfortable and warm, and I had no negative energy on my mind.

My phone tells me that the weather is going to be seventy-two degrees Fahrenheit and sunny with little wind today, so I have dressed in a sundress and sneakers, prepared for a day of sightseeing with Charlie.

I wish I could say that I have made the most of the hotel’s breakfast offering but after last night’s late dessert binge and knowing that a day with Charlie is going to involve a lot of eating, I settled for a small plate of fruit, a slice of sourdough bread and a hard-boiled egg.

Now I’m making my way back downstairs, having cleaned my teeth and collected my small backpack, ready for the day ahead. As I near the hotel reception area, I see a man with his back to me, wearing a Union Jack-themed top hat – the type I have noticed being sold by street sellers with carts full of touristy merchandise. He is holding a spare hat in his hand.

Though his back is to me, I know that the T-shirt he is wearing with his khaki shorts and runners will be depicting either a Marvel or Harry Potter character. That knowledge makes me smile as I approach him, expecting to be overcome by embarrassment but in fact finding his outrageous get-up entertaining.

‘Good morning,’ I say brightly.

He rotates to show me a T-shirt hosting a Spider-Man figure in his infamous Spidey pose, except Spider-Man’s usual costume has been replaced by a Union Jack, which draws even more attention to Charlie’s ridiculous top hat.

‘Here she is, Touristy McTourist Face.’

I have zero idea where that name has come from but this is Charlie and so I don’t expect to follow his peculiar train of thought at all times. I think that’s a good thing, too.

‘Nice shirt,’ I say.

Completely straight-faced, he replies, ‘You too.’

And I laugh because I’m wearing a dress.

Charlie takes a step toward me and places the spare top hat on my head, adjusting my hair to move it out of my eyes as he does so. ‘This is for you.’

‘Is the hat obligatory?’

‘If you want to partake in Captain Charlie’s Day of Touristy Fun, then it is absolutely essential.’

I don’t bother arguing. We make our way outside to the street and when we’re there, I reach into my backpack and hand Charlie an almond croissant, double wrapped in cloth napkins, which I stole from the breakfast buffet.

‘I know you like a pastry.’

He takes a mouthful before responding and through half-chewed croissant, he tells me, ‘Yeah I do.’ A little bit of food escapes from his mouth.

‘Charlie, I don’t want to start the day on a bad note but you’re totally gross and since we’re being honest with each other from now on, I think you should know that.’

He takes another bite of pastry then says, ‘I’m fully aware, Touristy McTourist Face.’

Reaching into the side pocket of his shorts and handing me a flyer with a receipt stapled to the front, he says, ‘And in return, this is a gift for you. It’s your ride for the day.’

The receipt and flyer tell me I have a day pass for an open top, hop-on-hop-off London bus. ‘This is like that episode of—’

‘Friends.’ We say the name of the sitcom simultaneously.

For some unbeknown reason, I am blushing as I ask him, ‘Where do we start?’

He shakes his half-eaten croissant in the direction of travel and I follow him along the street. There are people dressed in suits still heading for work but the commuter traffic I had noticed through the window of the hotel during breakfast has died down and been replaced by tourists – notably hat-less tourists.

‘Charlie, I feel a bit ridiculous in this hat.’

‘In that case, I’m pleased I didn’t buy you the flag to go with it.’

He laughs but I have a sense he genuinely considered it.

We head down to Victoria Embankment and he buys us each a bottle of still water from a kiosk. There are boats drifting up and down the River Thames, sunlight dancing off the ripples left in their wake. We follow the river west and as we do, I see the London Eye across the water, on the south side of the river.

‘The London Eye is on my list of things to do, Charlie. Have you incorporated that into your tour?’

---