Page 96 of All I Want For Christmas Is You

Still, her heart was shattered. She kept a smile on her face, but she’d never felt a despair like this, as big and deep as the ocean.

She’d left for the right reason—she had to make herself a priority and grow her business. She had to.

Okay, but why did she have to give up Beau? Couldn’t she have it all?

Sweetheart, whatever’s going on, we can handle it together.

His words played on repeat in her mind. Night and day, they ran like a river right through the heart of her.

She put the finishing touches on her daughter’s hair—and really, why did they ever think some random stylist could do a better job than Margot? She’d touched the fine down on Emerson’s scalp when they’d first placed her in her arms. She’d brushed out her tangled toddler curls, and she’d given the first cut. She knew exactly how the cowlick whorled and how to twist the brush to blow it out straight.

“Mom?” Emerson’s soft voice cut through her thoughts. “I’m sorry for comparing your situation with Dad to Beau. I can see how upset you are, and I wish I’d never said anything.”

She pressed her daughter’s hand. “It’s not your fault. I would’ve been upset, too, if you’d run off with someone you just met.” I did it twice. With him, and away from him. She shook her head. “I’m not exactly myself right now. But I’m back on track. I’ll be okay.”

“It’s not that you ran off with him because I fell for Noah right away. I get that part. Sometimes, when you know, you know.”

I know.

“Just one look at him, and I felt something,” Emerson said. “It’s hard to explain.”

But Margot knew. “It’s this feeling that you recognize someone you know you’ve never seen in your life.” She could feel her daughter’s eyes on her, but she couldn’t stop. “It’s almost like a click inside you. Your body understands before your mind has a chance to catch up.”

“Mom.” Her daughter’s voice was rich with compassion.

She took a step back to admire her little girl. Wow. Wow. She stroked her daughter’s cheek with the back of her hand. “Look at you. You’re the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen.” Emerson didn’t need a couture gown or a makeup artist to glow with inner peace and beauty.

Her daughter reached for her hand. “Thank you, Mom. I’m so glad you’re here with me.”

“Me, too.”

Emerson got up. “When I told you I didn’t want you to put Beau’s life in front of yours, I didn’t mean for you to break up with him.”

“Oh, honey, this is not your fault. It’s mine. The fact that I could fall back so easily into my old pattern was a red flag. It’s just too soon. I need more time alone.”

“But what if Beau’s your person?”

“He is.” She could barely get the words out. But she couldn’t break down in front of her daughter on her wedding day. Keep it together. “When your dad left me, I could hardly get out of bed. Once I calmed down, I could see I didn’t miss him at all. Mostly, I was just scared about money since I’d never made any. Well, terrified, honestly. But walking away from Beau…I’ve never experienced this kind of pain. And it’s not tied to me being alone again. It’s about losing an essential part of me.” She shook her head. “I know that sounds dramatic. I just met him.”

“Mom, no. Seriously, I knew Noah was The One the first day I saw him on the beach. I hadn’t even talked to him. He and his friends were waxing their boards, and when the other guys headed out into the ocean, Noah stayed behind because there was this little boy who’d been watching them. The other guys ignored him, but Noah took the time to teach him what to do. He was so kind and gentle to this boy he didn’t know. Well, it was more than that. It was the way he noticed me, too. It was like our eyes locked, and I felt a chemical reaction right here.” She patted her chest. “Mom, if Beau’s the one for you, go back to him. Like, really, we only get so much time on this earth. Shouldn’t we be doing the things that make us happy?”

“Yes,” she whispered, no longer afraid to share the truth with her little girl who’d turned into an exceptional young woman. “But I need to work, and I’m afraid I won’t have enough money to see me through to the end of my life. I’ve never fully supported myself.”

“Okay, but what does Beau have to do with that? And how will fear help you make more money? Fear’s the very thing that blocks us.”

“You’re right. I just…I got scared. I lost myself in Beau’s life. That’s the kind of thing that will ensure I don’t have enough money.”

In a rush, her daughter hugged her. Margot breathed in her soft, floral scent. “Mom, that’s just who you are. Why do you think my friends wanted to come over to my house? Why do you think Johanna would sit on the counter while you were cooking dinner? Because you listened to her problems and tried to help her. That’s the essence of you, and it will never change. Why would you want it to? So what if Beau asked you to watch his grandson for a few days?”

“He didn’t ask. I offered.”

“Of course, you offered. You wouldn’t be you if you’d gone into your office and back to work knowing your man had a crisis and couldn’t take his grandson with him. It was a couple of days. So what? And if you have a crisis at the same time as Beau, then you find someone to step in and help. You don’t give up the best thing that’s ever happened to you. Mom, you’re a caring person. You put your whole heart and soul into relationships. That’s a good thing. You don’t need to be alone the rest of your life to make sure you’re productive. That’s just crazy-talk.” Emerson stood. “Now, can I get married or what?”

Margot entered the church alone. An older man played “The Wedding March” on a ukelele, and everyone wore leis. Since the bride and groom didn’t want any separation between families, people sat anywhere they wanted.

As she headed down the aisle to find her seat in the first pew, her gaze landed on the back of her ex’s head—the first time she’d seen him in nine months, and it hit like a baseball bat to the chest. It was muscle memory, the sense that they should be seated together, parents of the bride, celebrating this momentous occasion.

Instead, he had a thirty-eight-year-old girlfriend. He’d become a total caricature of the successful Greenwich husband who dumped his wife for a younger woman. Of course, he’d never have a child with Petra but that meant he got it all. Money, a hot young girlfriend who was as driven as he was, and the recovery of his reputation.

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