Page 16 of All I Want For Christmas Is You

What’s going on here?

Desire awakened in a slow churn that softened her. For so long, she’d been in fight mode. Fighting to keep a roof over their heads, to keep her ex from sinking into despair, to build her business so she could support herself…

But there was something about this man…she couldn’t explain it. A familiarity, a recognition. She could see beneath his good looks, the broad, muscular shoulders hidden by the heather gray Henley T-shirt, and the fancy, shiny watch on his wrist. All the way down to his core of strength, of calm, and she felt a trust that made no sense.

It was so weirdly easy between them. Yes, she was attracted to him, but there was a connection happening on a whole other level, one that didn’t exist in the physical world. One where their souls recognized each other.

And it didn’t scare her. Not one bit. Oddly, it energized her.

“I’ve never had that spark with anyone.” He stuttered out a laugh, clearly uncomfortable. “But now, for the first time, I think I know what—”

A metal key clattered onto the table, and Jessa stood behind her dad. “Sorry to do this but can you take me back to school? I got the results I needed from the lab and have to analyze them. It’s going to take a while.”

“Yeah. Of course.” Beau stood up and pocketed his key.

The idea of losing him sent a rush of panic through her.

Don’t leave.

Finish what you were going to say. For the first time what?

Does it have to do with me?

She couldn’t bear to lose this precious moment of openness, of trust…of connection. And his lingering gaze only reinforced that it was mutual. But really, what did it matter what they felt? This man was leaving. She had no other choice but to let him go.

Smiling, she waved them off, pulled her laptop out of her bag, and set it on the table.

She went through the motions like she was unaffected. But it was all forced. She couldn’t concentrate. Not when every cell in her body strained to go with him.

Focus. Her finger hovered over the start button, determined not to look for him. Maybe if she were a stronger woman, she wouldn’t have done it. But she wasn’t. This man had tipped her world over and left her spinning. She couldn’t stop herself from glancing over.

Walking alongside his daughter, he headed for the door. His worn jeans cupped his ass, accentuating the tight round globes, and his thick, dark hair hit the collar of his shirt.

He turned back to look at her, his expression wistful, his eyes full of longing. He gave her a hint of a smile.

And then, he was gone.

Dammit all to hell. For eight months, she’d run through the gamut of emotions. From being scared about her future to healing and finding her strength.

Now, she had something new to add.

Because she’d never felt more acutely alone than she did in that moment.

For the first time in her life, she had a true connection.

To a man she’d never see again.

* * *

As Beau drove through the historic town of Merry Falls, he took in the pine garlands wrapped around streetlamps, the festive wreaths with bright red ribbons adorning the businesses, and the shoppers tromping along snowy sidewalks to buy last-minute presents.

“I just wish she’d come home, you know?” Jessa asked. “I get it. I get she doesn’t want the press camped out in front of our house. But it’s Christmas. She should be with family.”

“She should. But she’s worried about Colt.” He would never forget the little boy’s terrified expression when the fans crowded around his famous aunt or the SUV that jammed on its brakes not a foot in front of her while she’d carried him across the street. It was her first time in the public eye since the band had broken up, and it hadn’t gone well.

His daughter couldn’t get away from the media. Not only were they speculating about her career, but they treated the bandmates who’d betrayed her the way they did Bigfoot, posting blurry sightings in random places like a health food store in Malibu and at a campsite in Glacier, Montana.

His daughter had once been on top of the world, cocooned by a team who’d sheltered and looked out for her, but it all turned out to be a lie. He didn’t blame her for needing to regroup.

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