Page 13 of All I Want For Christmas Is You

“You can. You can absolutely be angry with him.”

“You’re right. I can. But I don’t want to live like that. I don’t want to be a victim, so, I decided I could either fume and seethe and plot revenge the rest of my life, or I could clear out all the negativity and just forge ahead with this new life.” She smiled. “And make it sensational.”

“I like that a lot.”

“I swear I didn’t say you’re the reason your wife’s—”

“Ex-wife.” He shifted in his seat.

It seemed important to him that she hear it. “I’m sorry. Your ex-wife.”

“But you’re exactly right. I knew she was interested in a certain lifestyle from the start. I had a tough major in college, which meant I didn’t have a lot of time to party. But when I did catch up with my friends at a nearby bar, she was there. Everyone warned me she wanted to marry an engineer, but I didn’t care. Settling down wasn’t even on my radar. But here was this fun and sexy woman who wanted to have a good time.” His cheeks colored. “I know that makes me sound like an asshole, but I made it clear I wasn’t looking for anything serious. I never led her on.”

“I believe you. It sounds like you both wanted different things from the relationship.”

“I wasn’t looking for one at all. Not only didn’t I have time, but I had a plan. But then, of course, she got pregnant. She said if we didn’t marry, she’d move back home to her family in Michigan, and I didn’t want my child to be raised in another state without me. So, yes, to your point, I knew who she was from the start.”

“If I’m being too nosy, you can tell me to stuff it, but can I ask what your parents are like?”

He chuckled. “To be honest, I prefer this conversation to the weather, which is all anyone around here can talk about.”

“Right? It’s December, people. There’s going to be snow.”

“Yeah, exactly. My mom left when I was a kid, but my dad and stepmom are great.”

“Were you close to your mom?”

“Uh, no. Not at all. It’s hard to get close to someone who doesn’t want to be there. My dad liked to say she had a ‘restless soul.’ I guess she wanted something that wasn’t me or my dad or the town we lived in.”

“And did you try to fix her?”

“I don’t know about fixing her, but I did try to be good. I tried to make her smile.” His gaze wandered across the lobby to the giant Christmas tree with twinkling lights. “I guess I didn’t know what to do to make her want to stay.”

“To be worthy of her staying.”

He swung back to look her right in the eyes. “Yes, that’s right. I wanted to be good enough for her.”

“So, I know you married your ex because she was pregnant, but is there any part of you that chose her because of what you were trying to fix with your mother? Like, maybe deep down, you thought you could find a way to keep an unhappy woman from leaving her family?”

Beau drained his mug, then stared into it. She couldn’t explain how much she liked that he was giving serious consideration to her question. Her ex had only done it when she’d forced him. He was always doing ten things at once. And all ten ranked higher on his list of priorities than random talks with his wife.

This man took the time to sit and talk to her.

“I can see that. I did try very hard to make her happy, but she wanted the one thing I couldn’t give her, so it was destined to fail.”

It’s almost Christmas, and I’m making him talk about depressing things. She smacked the table with her palm. “Speaking of fails, how about me as a conversationalist?”

He cracked a tiny smile. “My daughter says I’m an introvert, which means I’ll take talking about this stuff over which ride-on lawn mower to buy. I don’t have a lot of friends because most of the guys I know want to watch football on Sunday, and I’d rather tinker in my garage, so I promise, you’re doing all right.”

She was a firm believer in listening to what people told her. “Well, good. And I’m the same way.”

He held her gaze for a long beat, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was electric. It was an acknowledgment that they were connecting, and it was by far the most thrilling moment she’d had in years.

He broke the moment by reaching for his mug, tipping it, and finding it empty. “Yeah, so, my marriage wasn’t good, and the only reason I stayed as long as I did is that I didn’t want to be a part-time dad. But I think you’re saying I didn’t have to date her. I could’ve dated any other woman in that bar, but I chose her. Even though I knew she wanted something I couldn’t give her.”

Warmth spread through her. He’d listened. He’d heard her. It was such a simple thing, but it filled her with affection for this man she barely knew. “Yes. That’s what I’m saying.”

“And actually, if you want to know the truth, my ex gives the impression she’s friendly and fun, but she’s actually detached. Just like my mom. So, there you go. The little boy in me recognized his mom’s attributes.” Awareness lit his handsome features. “Damn.”

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