Page 13 of Ready or Knot

“If we don’t, will you be haunted by the possibility of what might have been?” I ask when the others don’t say anything. I pull my left wrist far enough away that I can read the small Latin script.

Remember to live.

Logan runs his hands through his hair before nodding. “Absolutely. I’ll always wonder if it could've been her.”

“She intrigued me,” Jude says instead of a simple yes or no. We’ve been friends long enough that I don't need to ask for more. He wants a chance to interact with her for longer.

“We talked about choosing to withdraw in January,” I say, pulling the sheet of paper toward me. “How are we feeling now? Because I think I’m ready to consider it.”

“Let’s wait until after this one. Kick the can down the road another week. If…” Logan trails off, even his enthusiasm waning.

Jude clears his throat. “If it doesn’t happen this time, we’ll submit the paperwork to deactivate.”

I pull a pen from my pocket, filling out the requisite information and then signing at the bottom.

Logan regains some of his pep. “I’m going to choose to hold out some level of optimism.”

“Good,” I say, handing him the information so he can get it sent off. “One of us needs to be.”

FAEDRA

“Thirty minutes remaining.”

The announcement jars me out of my daydream, and I internally groan while attempting to refocus on the final exam in front of me. It’s my last one—and my most difficult. Which is unfortunate because my mind can’t seem to be bothered with the nuances of Dostoevsky’s works.

In hindsight, I probably should have decided to attend the Matching Gala the council is holding in August. But I hadn’t honestly expected to meet a pack that enthralled me so thoroughly. Or to be so consumed with anxiety while I wait for the Council to inform me of their decision. Two weeks seems like such a short time on paper, but it’s wholly different experiencing it drag by in real time. It doesn’t help that Violet got her papers yesterday.

I jot down what is hopefully halfway coherent concluding thoughts and then gather my things, prepping to beg Martha for an early release from the final. I’m ridiculously hungry and in desperate need of another date with my vibrator. Not that it does much, not since meeting Logan, Carter, and Jude at the party, but taking the edge off is imperative when you are an Omega trying to avoid unwanted attention from Alphas. Especially since I’m already on the maximum dose of suppressant doctors are allowed to prescribe.

The door at the back of the class opens, and everyone looks up from their tests. A man walks between tables, intent on Martha sitting at the desk in the front. She looks up from her stack of papers, a scowl already in place, but she quickly drops to a neutral expression.

There’s no mistaking this man is from the Council. He’s dressed in a well-tailored navy suit, a simple black tie held in place with a silver tack. Tucked under one arm is a large white envelope, conspicuously devoid of any writing. And on his lapel is a pin of the Council’s insignia. My heart races. My hands are shaking as I shove the rest of my supplies in my bag. The man leans across the desk, setting the envelope carefully on the surface, and whispers something to Martha. Her eyes flick to me and then she nods.

“Faedra, are you finished with the final?” My professor’s voice cuts across the room.

“I am.”

I’m surprised that my voice is steady. She nods and reaches out a hand, and I focus on keeping my hands steady as I cross the room and give her the essay.

The man turns towards me, hand pressed against the envelope. “Ms. Wilson, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” he says, holding out his other hand. I take it with a smile, and he nods before handing me the unmarked envelope. “You’ll have forty-eight hours to review the information and respond to the Council using the official letterhead enclosed. If you consent to the match, there’s a video call tentatively scheduled for Friday night with the pack. My contact information is on the first page, and you can notify me if you are accepting of the appointment, as well as to address any questions or concerns.”

“Thank you, sir,” I say, taking the envelope from him and holding it against my belly. With a nod, he turns and walks out of the room, paying no one else any attention.

“Faedra, you’re more than welcome to leave,” Martha says, her voice quiet, keeping the rest of the class from hearing. “I won’t make you wait the last twenty minutes to find out your pack. That’s just cruel.”

A small smile. Martha is an Omega, paired with her pack over a decade ago. “Thanks, Martha.”

She smiles, too. “Of course.” Her face grows serious. “The Council doesn’t talk about it much, but know that you are allowed to request a different pairing. Appeals from family might not always work, but an appeal from the Omega is always taken seriously.”

I nod, clutching the packet tighter. “Thanks for the reminder. I’ll see you at commencement,” I say. Grabbing my bag and draping it over my shoulder, I leave the class at just shy of a run. I keep my head down, the packet still held protectively against me, as I navigate the halls of the history building. My phone pings with a text just as I step out into the courtyard.

I check the text on the way towards my preferred quiet area on campus, and I smile a bit at Violet’s name.

Saw a Council rep just leave the science building. Think they’re delivering another round of papers. Did you get yours?

Yep. Want to read it with me? I’ll be at the tree.

Give me five.

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