Page 90 of Ready or Knot

With a small nod, he starts walking again. His footsteps echo against the hardwood, and I can hear Carter crossing the main floor behind us. Pressing my palm to his sternum, I open my eyes.

And come nearly face to face with Jude’s bright green ones, eyebrows furrowed as he assesses me. He traces his thumb over my cheek, and I can’t help but smile, leaning into the touch. His lips tip up in a half-smile before he drops his hand. Logan moves carefully past him, helping me sit on the cool stone of the island’s countertop. Goosebumps cover my legs as I shiver.

“You good?” Logan asks, hand splaying across my waist, thumb brushing the smaller scab along my ribs. His throat moves with a hard swallow, and I can’t help but lace my fingers with his, setting a soft kiss to his lips.

“I’m good.” I assure him, pulling away.

With a nod, he grabs dishes to prep for lunch. Carter steps into the kitchen a few moments later, brown eyes intent on me. He leans against the fridge, hands tucked into his pockets, looking way more delicious than he has a right to. I hold out my hand, and he blows out a breath before pushing off the appliance and walking over to me.

“I miss you,” I whisper against his lips, wrapping my hand around his neck, twisting my fingers into the black strands of his hair.

He hums, stepping into me, and I spread my legs without hesitation, encouraging him to press fully into me.

“I swear to God, Carter, I will kill you if you get her worked up right now,” Jude threatens behind me. A giggle leaves me, bordering on hysterical.

“The doctor said sex is fine,” I say against Carter’s lips, still smiling. Jude curses behind me, and then I hear him crossing the space. A moment later, his hand is on my thigh, his thumb brushing the hem of my skirt.

“You could have led with that, Logan,” Carter says, clearly bemused, a smirk on his lips. I giggle again, shaking my head.

“I needed to get her somewhere central before I let you descend on her like rabid dogs,” Logan says, voice dry. His hand cups my knee a second later, and I look over at him. He gives a soft smile, running his thumb over my lips.

We’d almost lost this. So soon after getting it, too. I don’t want to take any of our time for granted.

You would be surprised what surfaces as musts when you’re pressed to actually think about it.

Violet’s words float through my mind, and I tighten my grip on Carter’s hand and grab Logan’s, too. I look at Jude, and my breath catches in my throat.

“I want to bond,” I tell him, my voice firm, clear. He takes a half step into me, his Adam’s apple moving with a swallow. “Is…is that something we can do now? Or is it something that has to wait until, um, after?” I ask, dodging actually saying the word out loud, not sure I can without crying, and I don’t want to panic them unnecessarily.

Carter hums, and my gaze flicks to him. He gives a small shake of his head, a lock of hair settling on his forehead.

“Bonding can be something we do at any point,” he says, voice dropping, scraping along my skin.

I nod once, swallow the sudden lump in my throat, and adjust my hold so that my hand is sandwiched between Carter’s and Jude’s on my thigh.

“What is it, Red? What has you so nervous?” Logan murmurs, his soft voice a balm to my soul, settling my nerves without him trying. I swallow again and then let the words fall out without thinking them through.

“Just trying to decide how to convince you to bond right now,” I say, and all three of my Alphas growl a bit, stepping into me, their bodies pressing into mine. “And feeling grateful I won’t have to wait nine months.”

Everything freezes, and I hold my breath, waiting to see how they’ll respond to my decision. Jude cups my chin, turning me until our eyes are locked.

“That’s what you want?” He double checks. “You want to have a baby?”

I blow out my breath, a part of me just thankful that I can do it again.

“I’m not going to lie. I’m terrified,” I tell him, my voice wavering despite my best intentions.

His eyebrows furrow, a frown pulling at his lips. I continue, ignoring how my hands start shaking just a bit.

“Of how it’ll change me. Of how it’ll change us when we’ve only just figured out an us. I don’t feel like I’ve lived enough to do any of it properly.”

A slow breath in to control the trembling in my body. Logan runs his hand up my thigh, and Carter spreads his fingers across my hip, anchoring me.

“But I don’t want to look back in five years and regret missed opportunities because I kept waiting for the perfect timing.”

Jude’s eyes flash, and I know he’s thinking about Iris and her list. I think about the list shoved into the top drawer of my dresser that Violet wrote with me while I could barely breathe.

“And...” I swallow before licking my lips. “And I think I would regret not having a baby.”

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