Page 4 of Rogue Wolf

“Ash, can I ask you something?”

The shifter looked at her carefully. “You can ask anything you want, whether I answer…”

Tamaska narrowed her eyes, but took a breath. “What should I expect when I become a wolf?”

Ash dropped her rag in the bucket next to her, then she swirled it in the water, and squeezed, returning to her task. “There’s nothing to tell.”

“I don’t believe you.” She clenched the brush hard. “You might not go around turning people, but you know.” Ash didn’t answer. “Why won’t you tell me? I have a right.”

“You don’t have any rights.”

A lump formed in Tamaska’s throat. “I’ve the right to know what’s ahead of me.”

“Look at the walls, the floors. That’s what’s ahead of you.”

“My future is to be the house maid?”

Ash threw down the rag and glared. “I mean this life isn’t made for humans, even if Kodiak’s accepted you, even if I do and the rest of the pack, it’s a hard road ahead. There are risks, Tamaska. Big ones that will impact others. It’s not all about you.” Ash growled and returned to cleaning the wall. Intense anger vibrated from her, like a hot wind.

“I don’t mean to be a burden. I’m…I’m asking because I want to do right by all of you. If you think I should just go, I will.”

Ash’s shoulders lifted. “That isn’t what I’m saying. The vampires want you, and it’s…it’s all a mess. But this isn’t an easy life. And if you can’t even take me getting annoyed then maybe you should rethink it, because you can destroy Kodiak.”

Her words blindsided Tamaska and her eyes prickled with tears. She blinked quickly, pushing away the emotion. “I would never—”

“But you could. And not even on purpose. We’re a closed bunch. And protective of each other. And Kodiak’s never brought in an outsider.” She trusted Ash more than the others and her words hurt. “You come with a unique set of problems that even if all goes well, life will be hard.”

Would it always be this tough for her when it came to the pack? Would she always be an outsider?

“I just want to do what’s right.”

“Then clean this shit with me.” Ash threw a red-stained cloth into her bucket, then rinsed it before returning to cleaning.

The shadows under Ash’s eyes lay dark and heavy. Strands of hair escaped her ponytail. She didn’t look like the pack member Tamaska had first met. The pack’s infighting and the loss of the alpha had burdened Ash. It burdened everyone. And she didn’t know how to help them apart from cleaning up.

“I need more water.” She picked up the bucket and stretching her tired muscles once more. “Ash, should I go?”

“You go and he’ll tear the world apart, don’t try and pretend otherwise.”

“But if I’m a danger—”

For fuck’s sake, Tamaska. You can’t be this needy. We’re wolves. Strong, interdependent, yes, but beyond strong. Find that strength. And you know you can’t leave. It is what it is.”

The sharp breath hurt her lungs as she dragged one in. “I guess I’ll go get fresh water.”

Ash didn’t even glance her way.

“Do you want me to change your water?” Tamaska asked.

“I’m all right, thanks,” she said sharply.

“Okay, then.” Tamaska picked up the bloody bucket of water, her opposite hand outstretched to counter the bucket’s weight as she carefully walked outside.

Out of all the pack members, Ash had always supported Tamaska most. To have her lash out hurt. Badly. Everything was so complicated. Because she couldn’t blame Ash. They were intrinsically different beings. Human and shifter and she despaired right then of ever truly understanding.

In that short exchange she got something.

Even if she changed successfully into a shifter, she wouldn’t truly ever be one of them until she understood them, down to the fibers of her soul.

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