Page 15 of Yearning For Her

Kian was exactly as she’d left him.

Willow padded to the bed and retrieved her shoes before making her way toward the exit. The latch clicked, and she froze. When she heard nothing from Kian, she fled into the hall, closing the door quietly behind her.

Leaning her back against it, she squeezed her eyes shut. All she needed was a moment. A moment for her to compose herself, for her heart to slow, for that inner heat to cool. But her legs continued trembling, and an insistent throb pulsed in her core.

Fuck.

Shaking her head, Willow opened her eyes, pushed away from the door, and bent forward to slip on her high heels. As she made her way down the silent hallway, something from deep within urged her to return to Kian. It felt like she was tethered to him, like that line was growing tauter with every step, but she did not stop.

She needed to get away.

Willow fished her phone out of her pocket. She scowled when she saw the missed calls, voice mails, and texts from Eli. Anger swept in to block out her other confused emotions. Without checking any of the messages, she blocked his number and scheduled a car service to pick her up. She would have called Jamie, but it was late, and Willow really didn’t feel like talking to anyone, not even her best friend. At least, not yet.

By the time Willow stepped out of the hotel, her anger had faded, leaving behind only the hurt and betrayal. She knew the truth—she deserved better, and what had happened was Eli’s doing. She wasn’t going to fall into that downward spiral of wondering what she could’ve done differently, of how she could’ve prevented him from straying. She’d done nothing wrong.

Perhaps the saddest thing about the whole situation was that she couldn’t be sure whether she’d really loved Eli…or if she’d just loved the idea of the life she had imagined them sharing.

More and more, it seemed like the healthy, happy relationship she’d always wanted was nothing but a foolish fantasy. After all, it wasn’t like her parents had been a shining example of a good marriage. Willow hadn’t even known what a good relationship looked like—only that the Crowleys had been far, far off the mark.

The driver that picked her up was thankfully quiet, leaving the music on the stereo to fill the silence. The city streets passed in a blur. Willow had no real sense of where she was, but she didn’t care. She could feel herself getting closer to home, and home was the only place that had any chance of providing her with solace. The only place that could act as her sanctuary.

Because it was hers, and hers alone.

Glad Eli dragged his feet whenever I mentioned moving in together.

She tipped the driver generously when they reached her house. He bid her a good night, and she only barely held back a bitter laugh before following the path to her front door. The weight of the world crept just behind her, threatening to crush her, but she hadn’t let life hold her down yet. She wasn’t about to give up because of one bad night.

Because of her ex-asshole.

Willow let herself in, slammed the door in life’s face, and locked the deadbolt. Letting out a heavy sigh, she switched on the lights, removed her shoes, and let them drop to the floor.

Three distinct meows greeted her as Bebe, Remy, and Loki came running over to rub against her legs.

Willow smiled and knelt, scratching behind their ears and running her hands along their backs. “At least I know you guys love me unconditionally. You hungry?”

They looked up at her and meowed some more.

She snorted. “Of course. The way to a cat’s heart is through their stomach.” Willow chuckled. “Come on.”

Rising, she made her way into the kitchen, where she filled the cats’ dishes. She stood and listened to the little crunches as they ate. Weariness weighed upon her, but her mind kept returning to that hotel room. She could still feel Kian’s hands and mouth on her body, could still feel his cock as it moved in and out of her sex. Could still smell him on her skin. And it only made her yearn for more.

I need to forget him.

Willow left her content kitties and walked to the bathroom connected to her bedroom. Setting her phone on the counter, she turned on the shower and undressed. In the mirror, she glimpsed the bruises forming on her hips—bruises where Kian had clutched her. She lifted a hand to touch them, but forced it away, hurrying into the shower.

Once she was under the hot water, she scrubbed her body, wishing she could wash away the memories of Eli and the pain he had inflicted. A sob escaped her. Shoulders quaking, she rested her forehead on the wall and pressed a hand over her heart as water sluiced down her body. Tears spilled from her eyes.

“I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I’m so tired of being hurt.”

Tomorrow, she would gather all Eli’s things, including any gifts he’d given her, and throw them in the trash. She was done with him. She was done with dating, done with the lies, the deceit, the manipulation, the suffering.

She never wanted her heart to hurt again.

Five

Darkness did not exist behind Kian’s eyelids. His consciousness was enveloped in a warm red glow, pulsing soothingly with the slow, steady rhythm of his heart. The afterglow, he’d always called it. The sweet period after feeding that was usually the closest he could come to true pleasure himself.

But it was different this time.

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