Page 102 of Yearning For Her

“It does matter, Kian. It isn’t right.”

He dropped onto a knee, bringing his eye level closer to hers. “They’ll be fine. Confused but fine. My only concern is for you right now. There’s…so much. I can’t make any of it out, Willow. What’s happened?”

Willow swallowed thickly as she searched his eyes—his deceptively human eyes. She wanted him to drop the glamour. She wanted to see the real him, not the false face he presented to the world. But she knew that wasn’t possible. Not here.

She drew in a deep breath and released it, willing her heart to slow. “I’m…I’m okay. I think I just got overheated, and it made me feel a little dizzy.”

And I had a bit of a panic attack because I’m in love with you.

Shakily, she reached up and clasped his wrist. “But please, don’t do that again. I’ve felt that helplessness, Kian. Even if it’s only a minor thing, it’s not right to take away their choice.”

“Gods, Willow,” he rasped, shaking his head. His thumbs caressed her cheeks. “Even now, so much compassion. I will try. For you, I will try. But I cannot promise more than that.” Kian’s expression hardened around the fire in his gaze. “Because if I had to choose between you and anyone else, the world could fucking burn for all I care.”

There were so many emotions swirling within her—panic, fear, elation—but the most prominent of all was love. Her heart sang with delight. Yet that other part of her, the one that had been hurt so many times, warned that this was all too good to be true, that it was happening too fast. That…that this was her mistaking lust for love.

But if it was just lust, why would she be feeling so much, so deeply? Why would the thought of losing him be making her chest tight, why would it suffocate her?

“Here you go.” The waitress placed two empty glasses on the table and filled them with water from a plastic pitcher, which she set on the table before leaving.

Kian lowered his hands from Willow and plucked the closest glass off the table. He held it up to her. “Drink.”

“Thank you.” Taking the glass, she drank swiftly and deeply, glancing at Kian over the rim. She didn’t stop until she’d swallowed every drop. She drew in a shaky breath and wiped her upper lip with the back of her hand.

“Now”—Kian took the glass from her and returned it to the table—“tell me what is bothering you, Willow.”

“I need to use the restroom.”

His eyebrows fell. “I can’t help but feel like you’re trying to avoid me.”

Willow winced and scrunched her skirt in her hands. Somehow, she managed to give him a small smile. “I know. I…think I am. And I’m sorry. I just need a moment to myself, away from the noise and heat.”

Away from you.

She might not have said the words, but the hurt that flashed in Kian’s eyes suggested he’d heard them all the same. And that made her feel ten times shittier.

He let out a long, heavy breath. “If that’s what you need. I will escort you.”

Willow shook her head. “No. Please, just stay here and wait for me. I’ll be fine. Tonight has been fun, it really, really has been, but… I promise we’ll talk about it soon, okay? I just need a moment.”

Staring at her silently, he searched her eyes, his own filled with uncertainty. Finally, he lifted a hand and brushed his thumb across her bottom lip. “All right.” He rose and sat in the other chair, not taking his gaze off her for an instant. “Hurry back to me, Violet.”

Willow stood and hesitated, wanting to reach for him, to touch him. Instead, she kept her arms at her sides and walked away, weaving through the crowd to get to the restrooms.

Thankfully, there wasn’t a line. She entered an empty stall and used the toilet, taking that time to simply breathe, to gather herself. The music was muted, blaring briefly every time the restroom door opened. Multiple people came and went, their voices echoing off the room’s tiles as they spoke near the sinks, and toilets flushed as loud as jet engines.

What was she doing?

I’m hiding in the freaking restroom.

Willow groaned, propped her elbows on her legs, and buried her face in her hands.

She’d never thought it was possible to fall in love with someone so hard, so fast. Love at first sight was a fantasy, something that only happened in books and movies, in fairy tales. It just…it didn’t happen in real life. It couldn’t. Lust at first sight, though? That happened all the time. And that was what she and Kian shared. It was about companionship, fun, sex.

Really, really good sex.

You know that’s not all it is, Willow. Stop lying to yourself.

She was lying to herself. She was running from her feelings, because everything she felt for Kian was just so immense. So…right.

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