Page 77 of Whisking It All

“My mom always said there was nothing left for us in Aster Bay,” Tessa said, picking her words carefully. “That we had to leave.”

“I like to think there’s a place for everyone in Aster Bay.”

Tessa gripped the heavy glass of cider with both hands to ground herself as she met Dot’s eyes. “The more time I spend here, the more I’m starting to think I’m missing part of the story. And you’re the one who remembers how things actually were, right?”

“Generally,” Dot said with a deferential tilt of her head.

“I want to know how things actually were. Before.”

She needed to know the truth of why her mother had bundled her up and fled the town, why she’d never returned. Tessa had grown up in the shadow of that pain, hearing half stories told with thinly veiled bitterness towards her mom’s hometown, her hometown. She couldn’t reconcile the Aster Bay she’d grown up hearing about with the town she’d lived in for the past five weeks. The more time Tessa spent in Aster Bay, the more time she spent with Jamie, the harder it was to imagine leaving. But would staying be a betrayal of her mother’s memory?

Dot smoothed her hands over her thighs, shaking her head. “You should be having this conversation with your grandmother. Or your father.”

“I’ve heard what my father has to say. And I know what mom always said. But I also know she lied to keep me away from here. She told Ethan I wasn’t interested in visiting him when she’d never even told me it was an option. I think maybe I need to hear this from someone who isn’t so close to it, who hasn’t spent the last twenty-five years living in the shadow of their choices. Please, Mrs. Blumenthal. I just want to understand. I’ve spent my whole life thinking no one wanted us here, except maybe my father.”

“Well, that’s just not true.” Dot leaned forward, resting her hand on Tessa’s. “We all wanted you here. Both of you.”

“Then why did mom say we weren’t welcome?”

Dot sighed. “Your mother had a hard time of it. Her parents weren’t as understanding as Henry and Louise when your parents got pregnant. Francisco and Beatriz, they came to this country from the Azores with big dreams for their daughter, and they were the strictest Catholics this town has ever seen. Deacons at St. Anthony’s, pillars of respectability. And then their precious baby girl went off and got pregnant out of wedlock and the baby’s father wasn’t even Catholic?” She clucked her tongue. “Not even Fr. Barry could talk any sense into them. And their friends were no help. Self-righteous fools. Your mother’s parents laid down an ultimatum—your mother and father would marry as soon as they turned eighteen, or the Cordeiros would have nothing to do with her ever again.”

Tessa felt like all the air had been knocked from her lungs. She remembered the fighting, the angry shouts of scripture that had followed them whenever they were with her mother’s parents. Her heart ached for her mother, just sixteen and abandoned by her parents in every way that counted.

“Ethan wanted to marry her,” Tessa said. “They’ve both told me that much.”

“Ethan was always a good boy,” Dot said with a fond smile. “Very responsible. Respectful. He wanted to do right by your mother, and by you. And your mother was such a sweet girl. Sharp as a tack, that one, and a spitfire to boot. But Stephanie was also a terrible people pleaser. She couldn’t stand it if someone was disappointed in her, even when she was a child. And her parents’ disapproval weighed heavily on her.”

“I can only imagine,” Tessa murmured, thinking of all the times they’d fled other towns over the years, all the times mom had told her to always leave before someone could leave you, that they had to be better, smarter, funnier.

“At first, when the fighting got particularly bad, you all moved in with the Harts. Louise and Henry were so happy to have you,” Dot said, her face breaking into a wide smile. “I remember Louise standing right over there picking black-eyed Susans to decorate your bedroom with on the day you moved in.”

Somehow the image Dot conjured was more painful than the one of her other grandparents with their fire and brimstone.

“What happened? Between black-eyed Susans and mom feeling like we had to go?”

“Ethan was ready to marry Stephanie, it’s true. And they loved each other, the way you love the people you’ve grown up with. But everyone could see, plain as day, that they weren’t in love. Your mother knew it, and she wanted more for herself. For you. And I think she was afraid that one day Ethan would regret marrying her. Your father, good man that he is, didn’t understand the difference between loving someone the way he loved your mother, and loving someone the way a husband and wife should.”

“So she said no,” Tessa filled in.

“Actually, she said yes.”

“Then why—”

“Louise knew if they married, it would end in disaster. By then, the Cordeiros had left town, ranting and raving the whole way about the shame and dishonor of their sinful child,” she said, her lips pursed in disgust. “The friends they left behind were less than kind to your parents. Stephanie needed a support system, a family, and Louise and Henry wanted your mother to know that she had that family with the Harts. She didn’t need to marry into it.” Dot paused, sucking her teeth and staring at the black-eyed Susans that still dominated her garden. “Your grandmother told Stephanie as much, took her aside, woman to woman. Asked her what she really wanted. If she’d said she wanted to marry Ethan, Louise would have started planning the ceremony that very day. But what your mother really wanted was a fresh start, a place where she could leave the house without fear of running into people who were disapproving of her choices, without your father trying so hard to be a good man that he forgot how to be her friend.”

“So we left,” Tessa said, slumping in her seat, her mind racing as she rewrote the story in her mind.

How much of that story had come from her parents, and how much had she filled in herself over the years? She wasn’t sure anymore.

“Louise and Henry gave your mother enough money to go anywhere she wanted in the country and get established, with a promise that you’d always have a home here, in Aster Bay, with them. If Stephanie ever wanted that. Your grandparents didn’t want you two to struggle. And, I think, your grandmother hoped your mother would see that someone was on her side. They helped support you both for several years, until one day your mother announced she was getting married and she didn’t need their ‘charity’ anymore.”

“That sounds like mom. She never liked accepting help.”

“Just like her father,” Dot said with a shake of her head. “It was never charity, Tessa Jayne. Your grandparents could afford it and they wanted to help. That’s what family does. They take care of each other; they stand by each other. When your mother stopped cashing their checks, Louise started depositing them into a bank account for you, instead.”

“The trust,” Tessa said, pieces slotting into place.

“All they ever wanted was for you both to know how supported and loved you are. Louise and Henry, they don’t always have the easiest time saying how they’re feeling. But they show it. With black-eyed Susans and Sunday dinners, and sometimes with money.”

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