Page 27 of Whisking It All

DiceDiceBaby: In need of a caffeine fix?

WhiskyBusiness: I am plenty caffeinated. Starbucks is not about needing caffeine.

WhiskyBusiness: Starbucks is about a moment of the day that’s just mine.

DiceDiceBaby: And here I thought it was a coffee shop.

WhiskyBusiness: I’ve had so much coffee today. Bad diner coffee, bad home coffee maker coffee. But there is not a Starbucks to be found for miles!

DiceDiceBaby: Is this a recent revelation? Did all the Starbuckses in your area get up and move in the middle of the night?

WhiskyBusiness: Starbuckses? Is that the plural of Starbucks?

DiceDiceBaby: How else would you say it?

WhiskyBusiness: Starbucksi?

WhiskyBusiness: Or is this like a “moose” situation.

DiceDiceBaby: You’re going to need to be more specific.

WhiskyBusiness: You know, how the plural of moose is moose.

DiceDiceBaby: Ahh yes. So did all the Starbucks (plural) disappear?

WhiskyBusiness: I’m sure they did not. I’m sure the Starbucks around the corner that I’ve been going to for the past year is still there, still serving the best damn iced caramel macchiatos with two pumps of mocha. But I am not there to drink said beverage.

DiceDiceBaby: Are you on vacation?

WhiskyBusiness: Sort of.

DiceDiceBaby: What’s a sort of vacation?

WhiskyBusiness: Apparently a forced Starbucks detox!

DiceDiceBaby: I see.

WhiskyBusiness: Do you though? I don’t feel like you’re sufficiently sympathetic to my lack of caffeinated beverage options.

DiceDiceBaby: You caught me. I never really understood the whole Starbucks thing.

WhiskyBusiness: I’m sorry, can we even be friends anymore?

DiceDiceBaby: Give me a good cup of regular coffee, fresh ground beans, some cream. I don’t need the half caf double shot swirly drizzle extra whip stuff.

WhiskyBusiness: I don’t know what you just described but it sounds delicious.

DiceDiceBaby: I think that’s the withdrawal talking.

WhiskyBusiness: Maybe.

WhiskyBusiness: More likely it’s the sense that my life is one big joke to the universe. Sugar usually helps with that. I have not had enough sugar to cope with this new thing I just got volun-told to do.

DiceDiceBaby: Uh oh. What did you agree to?

WhiskyBusiness: Just working with a chef who hates me for the next few months.

DiceDiceBaby: I’m sure they don’t hate you.

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