Page 14 of Stalemate

Car sighs and I see her shoulders deflate. “I know, baby girl. I am so sorry for not seeing sooner that you are your own person. I guess, a part of me always wanted my daughter to be like me and love the lavish things in life and enjoy getting her hair and nails done.” They both chuckle. Carlina reaches out and cups our daughter's cheek as she smiles. “I get it now.” Chanel melts into her mother's hold and smiles brightly. I haven’t seen my daughter smile like that in years and something about the sight of it pulls at my heartstrings.

“If you can understand, why can’t he?” I tense, I know theheshe is referring to is me.

“Because he can’t stand the thought of his only child wanting to become him.” My brows draw in as I try to piece together what she means.

“It’s because I don’t have a cock swinging between my legs.” I bite my tongue to keep from growling at hearing my daughter say that vulgar fucking word. I may use it and it may be fucking sexy when her mother says it but coming from her, it sounds utterly disgusting.

“That’s not it at all. You being a girl means nothing to your father. He didn’t care what the sex of the baby was when we found out I was pregnant. All he cared about was the fact you were healthy and would always know you are loved. He may not show it, Chanel, but you are the apple of his eye and he just wants you to be happy and safe.”

“But what about what I want? He never listens, Mom. All he does is tell me I’m reckless, I could do better or that I should study more. He doesn’t see me for me!” I can’t take it anymore, I shove the door open, and both their heads turn toward me. Car looks surprised to see me but Chanel just looks pissed off. “Eavesdropping?”

I ignore her question. “I do see you, Chanel. I see everything there is to see about you and there isn’t a goddamn fucking thing I would change about you because to me, you are fucking perfect. I know you want to hunt and do what I do, but take a second to see it from my side. You are my baby girl and you are asking me to be okay with you going out on a contract to take the life of someone else. Not all of my targets are low level. Some are mob bosses, some are under bosses and some are just downright cunts. What if one of them was to get the drop on you? How the fuck can I live without you?” I don’t give her a chance to answer. “I can’t! You are my fucking reason for everything that I do. Aside from your mother, I have nothing else worth living for in this world.”

My daughter stares at me with an open mouth and a blank look in her eyes. Carlina smiles proudly at me. I have expressed to her many times how I feel about our only child wanting to follow in my footsteps. She agrees that the life I have chosen to live is dangerous. This isn’t the type of life I want for my daughter, but the reality is, I really don’t have a say in the way she chooses to live hers.

“What’s so bad about me wanting to be like you?” she whispers. My shoulders sag as I run a hand through my hair trying to think of a valid response.

“Nothing is wrong with wanting to be like your father.” I cut a glance at my wife and watch as she grabs both Chanel’s hands and holds them in hers. “He thinks so low of himself and he expects everyone else to think that of him, but you and I get to see the real man beneath the mask he wears.” I purse my lips hating that she is right but not liking that she is airing my shit out. “He doesn’t worry about you because you are a girl, he worries about you following in his footsteps because you are his child. All any parent wants is to keep their children safe. With the life you want to lead, we can’t guarantee that.”

“I could get hit by a bus tomorrow,” Chanel deadpans.

“Then I would have to murder a bus driver very fucking slowly,” I growl. My daughter throws her hands up in frustration.

“You think this is a joke and never take me seriously. That’s why we always fight. Uncle King and Amelia fight all the time because she hates who her father is but I don’t. I am fucking proud to say my father is Vincent Murelo, that you are the Bloodhound. Your name alone instills fear into your enemies. I want that.” A light bulb moment hits me.

“You don’t want to be a Murdoch because you are ashamed of me, you want that name because everyone knows it and will fear it.” She drops her gaze to the bed, answering my question without words. It’s true, everyone knows me as the Bloodhound and not by name. The name Murelo holds no weight anymore, not after me and my brothers-in-law laid waste to my father and his men. “Chanel?” She slowly lifts her gaze back to mine.

“Yeah?”

“I can’t lose you,” I say honestly. Her features soften and she jumps off the bed, rushing toward me. The moment she is within reach, I wrap my arms around my little girl and hold her close. I hear my wife sniffle at the sight of us embracing. She never hugs me anymore.

“You won’t lose me, Dad,” she mutters against my chest.

I tighten my hold on her as I flick my eyes up to look at my wife, she nods encouragingly at me and without words tells me that I need to let her do this or I will lose my daughter and I can’t stomach the thought of that. I relish in this embrace for a minute longer and then gently push her back, resting my hands on her shoulders. I bend at the knees so we are eye level.

“You do everything I say—”

“I will, I swear.”

I narrow my eyes, forcing her to clamp her mouth closed. “I mean it. Everything I say you do.”

“I swear, Dad. I’ll do it.” I fucking hate that me agreeing to teach her how to become an assassin is what brings the brightest smile to her face.

“Fine. The moment I get back from Miami with your uncles I will start training you.” She squeals and hugs me again, promising that she will make me proud. Stupid girl.

You make me proud just by breathing.

Chaos

Lying herein my old room at my parent's house feels weird. I'm used to sharing with Havoc and having rotating girls come through my door each night. Havoc and I do everything together, sometimes it’s hard being a twin but for the most part, I love it. Having someone always watching my six puts me at ease. He never doubts me or judges me for the choices I make. Even when I fucked up hugely, he never turned on me or called me on it when he found out.

I hate that I nearly let a bitch come between me and my brother. The girl fucked me up so badly and left me reeling. We may lie about who we are and where we come from for good reason, but she knew and she still chose to lie to me!

Loving her could have ruined my family, which is why Havoc and I went rogue and did what we did. I don’t bother to tear my gaze from the ceiling when my door opens, I already know who it is.

“They’re going to find out what we did.” I lull my head to the side and pin Havoc with mydon’t fucking test melook. He growls and shoves off the wall as he begins to pace the length of my room. “They are coming for our family, Chaos.”

I sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bed, rest my arms on the tops of my thighs and lift my head to meet his gaze. Everyone thinks Havoc doesn’t feel anything and is closed off from the world. The truth is, he feels too deeply and chooses to close himself off so he doesn’t get hurt.

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