Page 80 of A War of Embers

“You have it backwards,” I inform her. “Rowan’s monster is the one who did this.” I gesture to the tattoo on my face. “The man also has no regrets about doing it and refuses to remove it.”

She seems absolutely gobsmacked now. “He knows and refuses to remove it? That doesn’t sound like Lord Rowan at all.” She narrows her eyes at me. “When he kissed you, we all thought it was a fluke. What kind of magic are you using to control him?”

The kind I apparently have no control over.

“I’ll be informing the guards to keep an extra eye on him.”

It takes a great deal of strength to not suggest to her it’s considered stalking and keep my mouth shut. “Right.” I clear my throat. “You do that. Specifically I would tell Nox,” I advise. “He’s also convinced I’m doing something nefarious. You two will have that in common.”

“Immortals are not to be trusted.”

That I agree with, though I refuse to acknowledge it to her. Instead of continuing this maddening conversation, I leave her behind in the sitting room. Once her servant comes back in, I’m sure they’ll devise a plan to see if I’ve somehow bewitched Rowan and how to protect him from my evil clutches. It’s astounding how no one seems to realize he’s the one trapping me.

I leave the room and head back to my bedroom where the map I stole previously sits. Even though it’s a crudely drawn map, it still leads towards the Cliff of Embers. Instead of coming through the Bone City this time, I plan to sketch out a better map towards the Cliff of Embers by going through the Wraithlands directly behind the estate.

Being in the wild, vast land is better than being within the cities. Maybe I can release some horses towards the Bone City to set up a false trail on where I plan to go. The likelihood of taking that way is more believable since it empties out to the northern end of the Wraithlands, directly south of the Cliff of Embers. I doubt anyone would think to search the entirety of the Wraithlands for me. Rowan made it clear it’s too dangerous for the guards and mortals to enter with all the various types of creatures lurking around.

As a plan begins to unfurl in my mind, excitement rushes through my veins. Finally, another step in the right direction to reach my goal.

Rowan’s voice floats through my head again, whispering in the same deep, toe-curling voice he uses when he’s fucking me, You belong to me.

No, I think as determination sets in, ignoring the way his voice sends shivers racing down my spine, I belong to myself.

The forest is still as I make my way through the groups of trees. My feet stay silent as I walk over the fallen, decaying leaves and the broken branches littering the ground. Every so often a noise from an animal appears before quickly disappearing. Even though early daybreak is casting light through the treetops, the chill of the night still encompasses this vast place.

Not too much longer and I’ll be able to break through the tree line to step into the Wraithlands. I assume the Haze is over now that everyone’s returned to the estate, but I brought my scarf to be on the safe side. It’ll also aid me in hiding the mark Rowan carelessly left on my face and neck.

Moving north, I steadily climb through the trees, keeping an eye in the distance for the small break where the barrier to the Wraithlands lies. Instead of coming out where I did the first time I was here stalking Lady Cirilla, I decide to enter higher up where no one appears to be patrolling. Safer, more discreet, and I can easily slip into the thick of the trees high in the air if I spy anyone approaching.

Soon the estate will be bustling full of people. Alyvia will go in search of me at some point just like she always does. When she doesn’t find me, I hope she takes longer to look for me before outright going to find Rowan to see if he knows where I’m at. Once that happens, it’ll be a race against the clock to get to the Cliff of Embers and cross over before he can do anything to stop me.

Hopefully there’s a barrier that prevents him from yanking me out, though the uncertainty around the entire situation fills me with unease. So many unknowns surround my plan, but at least I’m doing something about it instead of lying in wait, hoping for something to be done for me. After Rowan’s wonderful revelation about him lying, I no longer want to place any trust in him.

Why lie?

What’s he hoping to gain by trapping me here?

I already know the answer to that. Me. But I don’t understand why he wants me. I’m too broken, too damaged by the life I’ve had to live until this point. There’s nothing redeemable in me so why bother trying to save someone who doesn’t want saving?

It took years for me to be at peace with myself, to allow myself the ability to relish in death the way mortals sometimes do. And I accepted the urgency that came from trying desperately to achieve something I thought was impossible.

Now here I am, on the precipice of the impossible once again. Death is so close, just barely out of reach of my fingertips. Eventually the realm will take pity on me, give me what I desire.

Although what I desire now seems somehow less than before ever since Rowan entered my life. Yes, I’m attracted to him, but there’s a carnal hunger between the two of us we can’t seem to shake when we’re in the same room together.

But apart? I wonder what he’s thinking. How he’ll react to the plans I try to set into motion. He’s constantly on my mind in some way. Be it angrily reminding me of his adverse ability to help me obtain my goals or how much I secretly wish his hands were on me.

Immediately I shut the train of thought down. Rowan already consumes too much of my time, I need to let him go. He has no place in my plans to find death.

Up ahead, the faint glow of pyres halts my steps. I’m getting close to the second main village on the edge of the Wraithlands. It’s better to enter now, bypass the town from the southern end and then sneak up north towards my destination. This way I’m as far as I can get from the guards overlooking the entrance to the village.

Slipping out of the trees, I pull the scarf up over my face once again. The air immediately shifts, cooling down dramatically. The fog on the ground glistens like icicles are dancing amongst the mist. I wait the further I get parallel to the village for the warmth of the Wraithlands to permeate the air, but nothing happens. An icy breeze settles over my skin instead.

This must be the usual temperature here where the monsters dwell. The heat must only come about because of the Haze. Still I know better than to believe the realm won’t somehow try to turn me away if I breathe in the usual scent encasing this area, so I reach up and tighten the scarf around my face.

Breaking into a short sprint, I head into the pale darkness. The forest pick up again several hundred meters in. I keep an ear out, listening to the trees and village to see if anyone spots me and alerts others. My eyes stay focused, trusting my instincts to guide me as I head directly for the next cluster of trees. Finally when I break through, I lean my back against the closest tree, hiding myself from view in case anyone spots me.

Glancing up at the thick branches above my head, I level my breathing as I contemplate moving within them. On the ground I’m more susceptible to being spotted and ratted out amongst the people here. In the air, I can move with the breeze already chilling this place, hidden until I’m left with no other options.

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