Page 113 of A War of Embers

Zeke stiffens on the couch, his face turning red as he fights back the anger clearly written on his features.

“I don’t–” Samuel starts.

“Could you remove it?”

The High Lord opens and closes his mouth several times before heavily sighing. “Because I possess a soul blessed by this realm, yes I can remove it if you wish. But there are consequences. Lord Rowan’s brother–”

“Isn’t my concern,” I interrupt. “I’m so tired of everyone making decisions for me based on their own wants and desires. No one has taken one minute to simply let me make my own choice in this lifetime. No one.” I turn to glare at Zeke. “I tried to protect innocents. I stayed away in Cinnabar, determined to save as many lives as I could. I jumped into the Blood Sea to prevent putting someone else in my place where they could harm others. No one needs another version of me running around massacring people because Lady Gwenyth got bored on a random afternoon.”

Neither of them comments on my rant. Samuel looks worried, but I can tell by the wrinkles near his eyes he pities me. He knows far more about my life than I do. Has known for however long he’s been here exactly what goes on down below the mountaintops. Yet no one intervenes because of fucking Rowan.

Everything leads back to Rowan.

“Can I still die?” I demand to know. After everything I’ve been through in this life, I demand to know if there’s still a choice in the matter after all. I want to know if I can still choose me at the end of the day instead of worrying about somebody else for a change.

“Yes,” Samuel barely breathes the word before Zeke is jumping off the couch in a fit of rage.

“You’re being selfish!” he roars.

“Of course I am!” I yell back at him, unfolding my arms and standing defensively in case he attacks. “I’m so tired of not being selfish. One person has to die to prevent me from killing millions. Killing one person for my peace, Zeke. Of course I’m thinking about being selfish after all this time.” All the air deflates from my lungs, my heart hurting for the idea of leaving Rowan.

If given the chance to have your peace before the war begins, it wouldn’t shock me to learn you’ve taken it, the deep rumble of his voice repeats in my mind.

Zeke stops mere inches in front of me, his chest heaving as smoke filters out his nostrils, scales erupting along his jawline as his dragon comes close to the surface. “You would kill me? You would sentence me to death for personal gain?” His lip curls into a cruel smirk. “You were wrong, little monster. The Lord of Monsters isn’t dead, he’s who’s coming for you.”

My eyes narrow as a scoff escapes. “You’re the Lord of Shadows?”

The moment I ask, I watch as the flames burst higher in the room, all the shadowy bits rushing towards Zeke until he’s merely a black void standing before me. “Samuel was right, I protect the population. Shadows create the veil hiding Aïdes from its enemies. I can create it on whim, but you wanted to come here,” he nearly spits the words. “I agree you needed the immortal souls removed for the greater good, but you’re talking about dying and taking me with you.”

My mind should be focusing on his words or the fact his body has become a void of light in front of me. Instead all I can think about is the differences between the two. How Zeke’s demeanor looks light compared to his personality, and Rowan is his opposite. Twins are supposed to be the same, but they look like they’re from entirely different families. Still, I can feel the rage as if it’s a living, breathing entity encasing Zeke.

He’s telling the truth.

“Why all the secrets? The lies?” I ask.

Zeke’s body comes back, the shadows melting back into their rightful spots as he cracks his neck. “Because it’s the way we planned the war,” he answers easily, his voice devoid of all emotion. “Few suspect what we are in our realm, but they don’t know. They think because Rowan doesn’t have a physical monster that he’s the Lord of Shadows. No one disputes it, but they wonder.”

“You could just tell them. They’re loyal to you.”

“They’re loyal to him,” Zeke corrects, not sounding the least bit offended by his choice of words. “I don’t want anyone’s loyalty other than Rowan’s. He knows that. I protect the people from harm, always have and always will. I don’t want the recognition for it because I like not having the responsibility that comes with being Rowan’s brother thrown at me. When I died in battle, we looked the same. We were identical.” Zeke steps back away from me, his arms spreading wide as he grins maliciously. “This is what came from death.”

Staring at Zeke’s face, I can begin to see the similarities. The same jawline, the sharp nose, and if his hair were darker, I imagine it would be easy to see how they’re identical. But Zeke’s reptilian eyes are easy to see why people distance him and Rowan, thinking them not to be related at all.

“Rowan made a deal with the High Lords and Ladies to stay out of it, but I didn’t,” Zeke continues on. “I brought you here simply because I believe in you. I know you have a death wish. I know how desperate you are to not accept an alternative reality as a new form of life across the Blood Sea. I’m not asking you to forget what they did to you here in Tellus and the pain the people here have caused. I’m asking you to fight alongside us so that we can put a stop to their manipulation and control, to stop them from stealing our young and forcing us to hide while we bide our time, watching them from afar.”

“What about after? What’s my incentive to stay alive when I finally get my revenge?”

Zeke’s lips press together so tightly they lose all their coloring. Finally, he says, “Is Rowan not enough to make you want to stay?”

He’s kidding me right? I laugh, I can’t help it. The clear audacity this man has to believe he gets to use his brother as a pawn, the same way his brother used me to keep Zeke alive. Is this all a game to them? Make me emotional, fall for the king of the dead in a fairytale and hopefully change my mind? Is that what this entire thing boils down to?

Saving my life saves Zeke’s.

Here I am, believing Rowan actually gives a fuck about me but the brothers are only playing games. They don’t care what happens to me after the war as long as I stay alive. As long as Zeke and Rowan get what they want.

My life has never been about me.

First, I was taken from my parents to be used in an army. Then I’m fed a lie, told I belong to the Anderson family, who I kill once Lady Gwenyth sets her sights on me. Why? What was so special about the monster I am that caught her attention? But her arrival into my life from the start doomed me to a fate worse than death.

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