Page 78 of A War of Embers

“You realize he’s not going to let you die, right?” Zeke states firmly. “He’d literally drag you out of the Cliff of Embers himself if you so much as shut your eyes.”

Fuck. Maybe the supposed guardian of the Cliff of Embers can strike a deal with me so Rowan can’t pass. Otherwise I’m well and truly fucked and not in the good way. “Yes, he mentioned he lied about our bargain,” I say. “Here I was thinking he was noble and pure, never needing to reduce to lying to anyone.”

Zeke arches a blond brow. “You’re not just anyone, now are you?”

My back teeth lock together to prevent me spewing some uncomfortable truths to the entire estate. They don’t need me to tell them how much of a bastard their Lord is. They know it well enough. Or they’ll die lying in their fabricated worldview of him.

Instead of dragging this out, I decide it’s not worth my time after all. Turning around, I set the cup of tea I got on the counter and move away from the kitchen. Stopping here was a foolish idea. Why am I allowing Zeke to have my time of day? No one in this forsaken place deserves it unless it aids me.

Marching down the hall on a mission, I lift my lip in a snarl at anyone I come across who dares to make eye contact with me. I refuse to believe Rowan will bring me back from the Cliff of Embers. If I actually make it there, surely he’ll actually listen to my needs then. He’ll see how far I’m willing to go to find my peace.

You’ve suffered enough, Rowan’s voice floats around me, loud and clear and unable to dismiss. I have, so why isn’t he seeing it from my point of view? Why does he want me to stay here with him? My heart gives an aggravated stutter, hating even considering what life could be like if I did stay here with Rowan.

Would I grow to know what real friendships are? Would this inability to not see danger at every corner go away? Would I understand what love feels like?

I tighten my jaw as I viciously shove away the idea of what Rowan and I could look like as some powerful couple hellbent on protecting the innocents from ever enduring what Tellus is currently going through.

No. I refuse to acknowledge the alternative path. Every single time I begin to feel for someone, regardless if friend or lover, they all fade away at some point. Be it death, disinterest, or hatred begins to bleed from them. There’s no point in getting attached to people who eventually change their minds.

Turning a corner towards one of the fancier sitting rooms, I spot Lady Cirilla chatting with someone in her personal servitude on the couch. Each of them are poised at the very edge of the couch, like they’re ready to spring into action at the slightest notice.

Walking into the room, the servant’s gaze adverts mine as she quickly rises and dismisses herself without a word from me or Lady Cirilla. Once she clears the room, it’s just the two of us left. Lady Cirilla raises her pinky in the air like some kind of pseudo queen while she sips from her porcelain cup.

“I’ve been looking for you,” I tell her.

She raises one eyebrow, dragging half her forehead upwards with the motion. “Were you?”

“I want to ask you something.”

Her eyes shutter slightly. “Whatever it is you want, Keres Anderson, you may go ask your lover.” When her eyes track to the mark on my face, I don’t miss the slight hitch in her breath.

“I don’t know how Rowan would describe us, but lover probably fits best at the moment,” I state evenly. “But I’m not here to ask about Rowan or anything involving the estate. You were part of the Province Wars, right? You lived during that time. I know only a handful of Lords and Ladies have been born since then, but I’m pretty sure you’re older than them.” A backhanded comment, but what do I care?

Pressing her thin lips tightly together, she turns directly towards me. “Yes, I was part of the war.” She smirks suddenly. “Lord Rowan actually saved me–” she starts but I cut her off.

“What happened to the immortals you used on your side of the war? I know the ones used in Tellus went back overseas with their masters. What about here?”

Looking bored suddenly, Lady Cirilla leans back into the couch. “We gave them options, of course. It’s what any good leader would do. Some wanted to live out their days, but they were too violent to allow in the city so they were confined to the Wraithlands. Some had their souls taken out and given eternal rest.”

“The others?”

She eyes me skeptically from her new position. “What do you mean, what others?”

“I found documents stating that some immortals went to the Cliff of Embers themself to lay themselves to rest.”

Rolling her eyes, she sips from her tea cup again. “Ah, those. Yes, those who wanted to go to rest when they pleased went to the Cliff of Embers themselves. Once going through the portal, they were able to put themselves to rest while still retaining the soul they carried. Some say if you offer your souls to the High Lord guarding it, he’ll strip you of your life and grant you rest.”

My brow furrows. “A High Lord guards it?”

“Some say. I doubt anyone is still there.” She wrinkles her small, pert nose. “Can you imagine being alone all these years with only the dead to befriend? A terrible tragedy for anyone of such status.” She eyes me again. “Are you thinking of offering yourself to the High Lord?”

Well, a High Lord definitely outranks Rowan any day of the week. It’s possible he would pull my souls out easily, giving me a reprieve from this life without involving anyone from Aïdes. But I don’t plan on giving Lady Cirilla the satisfaction of being correct. “No. I was in Rowan’s library and saw a bunch of documents speaking about it. I never heard of immortals placing themselves in the Cliff of Embers.”

“I doubt anyone from your side of the realm is allowed to die that way,” she dismisses easily. “The war ensured we remained the primary guardians of the Cliff of Embers. No way would we allow it to be corrupted by the people of Tellus.” I don’t hide my confusion as well as I think I do because Lady Cirilla laughs. “You don’t know? Neither immortals or the Lords or Ladies from your realm are permitted to enter the Cliff of Embers. During the Province Wars, the entire focus was on gaining access to it. They wanted to build an army of creatures to do their bidding.”

“But the war was over who controls the land.”

“Sure it was. But who is fighting for the land? Not them. The Lords and Ladies of Tellus are too cowardly to do their own dirty work. Or did you not acknowledge that when you were activated to do all sorts of misdeeds?”

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