Page 53 of A War of Embers

Walking down the many alleyways, I heard towards the sound of water where the salty air grows thicker. A few guards, all in the standard gray top and black trousers, walk the cliff edge without missing a step. Funny how there’s no iron railing to deter people from plunging to their deaths here. Bypassing them, I settle down onto the edge of the cliff and let my feet dangle.

The sea thrashes beneath me, echoing my inner thoughts and pain. Perhaps Sereia and I have more in common than meets the eye. I listen to the hiss and thunder of the water raging it's violence against the rock wall.

Looking up, I can spy Cinnabar from here. In the gloomy distance, I can barely make out the lights making up the city. I bet the Royal Guards are patrolling the same way the men are here along the cliffs edges, protecting their people from an unseen force.

How ironic we’re taught Aïdes is the land of death when more people appear to be living than not. Life is such an interesting construct when those alive only have to go off the stories of the dead to tell their tales. Everything here always reverts back to the Province Wars. One realm vastly erases its history while the other pushes constant reminders.

Light footsteps interrupt the rhythmic pattern of the guards walking in unison around me. I don’t bother looking to see who came to find me, I’ll know soon enough.

Several long moments tick by. The waves continue to thrash, screaming out their voice no one listens to; everyone is too used to the screams.

Alyvia settles on the edge of the cliff beside me. She doesn’t speak, simply listens to the sounds surrounding us.

Does she hear the cry of the waves the way I do? Or can only the broken hear the sound?

“Are you going to jump?” Her voice is sad for me, pitying me, but I wonder if she knows why she feels like she needs to.

“I haven’t decided.” Honestly I gave it a brief thought when I saw the cliff, but nixed the idea almost as soon as the thought came to me. Jumping would only worsen my problems, not help them. “Probably not.”

“Probably?”

“It’s a last resort option,” I tell her. “Not entirely ruled out.”

“Well, I suppose that’s a good thing to hear.” She twists her fingers together in her lap. Her shirt and pants are covered in remnants of flour from working in the kitchen all day. “How was the Wraithlands?”

“Didn’t you come out here to scold me about deceiving you and sneaking out to go there?”

“No.”

I scoff. Everyone seems to want to scold me.

“I’m serious, Keres,” Alyvia adamantly states. “I don’t understand your feelings, but I know this has been hard for you. I know you’re doing everything in your power to make progress in your situation.” She quiets for a moment, looking across the sea to where I was born. “I don’t know the atrocities you’ve faced or done in your life to know why you’re so driven to die. But anyone can see how fraught you are to be at peace.” Pulling in a deep breath, she says, “I will help you research how to die if Lord Rowan is not meeting your needs. I can’t promise anything will come of it, but I can help if you’ll let me.”

My gaze stays glued to her face, waiting to see some tic to confirm she’s lying, except nothing happens. Fierce determination is etched across her face. “Why would you help me?” I don’t understand her motive. What does she get out of this ordeal? Someone always wants something. There’s always a price to pay.

Alyvia shrugs before turning to look at me. “It’s the right thing to do.”

My teeth clench together at the words. Exactly the same reason the Ashguard boys told where I was. The same reason Lady Gwenyth gave me. I will never escape those words as long as I’m alive.

“You don’t believe me,” Alyvia comments after a moment. Nodding her head, she looks back towards Tellus. “That’s fair.” She kicks her legs a few times. “If I were to jump, would you try to save me?”

My brows draw together at her asinine question. “Why would you jump?”

“Don’t ask questions. Just answer me. If I jumped right now, would you try to save me?”

Immediately I answer, “Yes.”

She kicks her legs a few times before looking back at me. “Why?”

I don’t have an answer. Why would I try to save her? Instinct. But why is that the instinct I would have in this situation? If we were in Cinnabar, I never would think about aiding her. I would watch, raptured and jealous as she flings herself over the iron bars. But I wouldn’t try to save her because I know what a prison Tellus can be. I would never deny anyone the right to seek peace.

Shutting my eyes, I blow out a slow breath as realization dawns on me. I care because this place, though as prison-like as it is for me, is not a prison for everyone. She would be throwing away her freedom by doing something as foolish as jumping off the cliff.

“This place is not a hellhole.” I lift my chin to gesture towards the land across the sea. “I know what pain and suffering occurs there. I know what death would be imminent upon your arrival. I know you wouldn’t deserve the cruel governing you would be subjected to over there.” I look down at the sea beneath our feet. “I know the Blood Witch would offer to kill you as a kindness before letting you go there.”

“You care.”

My nose wrinkles in distaste at her words. “Perhaps.”

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