Page 98 of A Very Merry Mistake

Loving him would’ve been too easy. Losing him is what I deserve.

I understand how it looks, and if the tables were turned, I wouldn’t forgive me, either. His family is everything to him, and I could’ve taken their livelihood away.

Had I not fallen for him, I would have. Without apology. Without thinking about how it would have affected the Jollys or the locals. It would have been business per usual.

The reason Merryville is so magical is because corporations like Manchester Holdings aren’t in the equation. It would kill the very thing that makes it feel like home to many. And commercialization won’t survive here because the locals won’t support it.

Coming here wasn’t a mistake. I met Jake. I learned what it’s like to be with someone who cares, and I took advantage of that.

As I shove my purse, heels, and toiletries into the bottom of my suitcase, the bedroom door cracks open. I hope it’s Jake, but it’s not. It’s Tinsel.

She trots toward me, meowing, her tail straight in the air. “Hi,” I say as she rubs against my leg. “And goodbye.”

I run my hand over her soft head and down her back a few times. When the purrs start, I think I might break down. She jumps on the bed, rolls over on her back, and looks at me upside down.

I grab her paw. “It was a pleasure getting to know you, Tinsel. I hope that in my next life, I’ll be a cat. Please take care of him,” I say, choking up.

As I drag in a deep breath, I grab my suitcase and wheel it down the hallway. I take one last moment to look around the house. My eyes scan over the big windows overlooking the backyard, the fireplace and couch, his beautiful collection of books, and the kitchen where our gingerbread house still stands.

I take a mental picture of it all, knowing I’m leaving a sliver of my heart behind. Then I go outside, struggle to lift my suitcase over the back of the truck, then get in and crank it.

The monster feels foreign, but it got me almost here and surely it will get me back. As I put the truck in drive, I get a text.

With every part of my being, I hope and wish it’s Jake. Instead, it’s a confirmation from the airline that my flight has been changed. I have six hours to get there.

I’d stay in Merryville, but there is no place available. I’d do whatever I could to desperately win him back, but with how hurt he is, he needs time. The last thing I want to do is shove myself upon him, so I’ll leave, as he wishes.

When I woke up this morning, I had no idea today would be the last time I’d be with Jake. The last time I’d smell his cologne and sweat mixed together. The last time I’d kiss his soft lips or have him touch me. In a way, we never know when the end is coming. Cherishing every moment like it’s the final one seems cliché, but now I wish I’d done it more.

As I drive off, I see the old truck in the rearview. Jake’s house eventually fades away.

The guilt takes over, and I think I might be sick. As I cross under the Jolly Christmas Tree Farm sign, I pull over and dry heave. My eyes water as my body tries to release whatever it can. But nothing comes out. I’m physically and emotionally empty.

Pulling back onto the country road that leads straight through town, I realize I’m truly alone, something I haven’t felt since I arrived. But it doesn’t matter.

I can’t fix this.

CHAPTER 26

JAKE

She’s gone.

She’s really gone, as if she slipped through my fingers.

The way every woman I’ve ever cared for has.

I can’t stand to look at her, knowing the betrayal she’s capable of. I walk outside, the door slamming harder than I intend, and take a trail I’ve hiked a thousand times. It leads to a clearing in the woods where deer graze in the morning and evenings. The trees are tall, the leaves are long gone, and when I look up, a tiny sliver of sunshine pokes through, almost like it’s telling me hope remains. But deep down, I know there’s not any left.

It’s over, and it fucking hurts.

I don’t have the power within me to watch her leave, so I give her time to gather her things. My mind is reeling, and my heart is beating rapidly. I feel as if I’m losing my grasp on reality, and I didn’t realize pain like this existed. I almost gave her everything…the farm included.

As I text Hank and tell him what happened, my fingers fly across the keys.

Hank

Shit. I just googled her. The heir of Manchester Holdings. I don’t know what to say.

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