Page 113 of A Very Merry Mistake

“You should.”

He shakes his head, picking up the flask from between his feet. “Want some?”

I take a big drink without asking what it is. I brace myself for whiskey, but my throat is nearly assaulted with cinnamon. I cough. “What is that?”

Jake chuckles. “Taste like shit, doesn’t it? This is Hank’s idea of a good time.”

I smile, and he glances over at me, then back at the fire. It’s a start, at least. “His taste buds must be broken.” But I take another swig, needing the liquid courage to work. I hand it back to Jake, and he puts his perfect lips to the top, but I force myself to look away. Emotions stream inside of me, and I try to find the right words, but everything still feels so wrong.

“So you drove here alone?” he asks.

This makes me laugh. “Yeah. Nearly ran out of gas again and got pulled over by a state trooper, but I’m here in one piece. Before the storm, too. I try not to make the same mistakes twice.” There is more truth in that sentence than he understands.

“You were speeding?”

“And driving with my high beams and windshield wipers on. Swerving, too. The state trooper was convinced I was drunk, so I was given a sobriety test.”

Jake tries to hold back laughter, but he fails and shakes his head. “Leave it to you.”

“I know. But I refused to let anything stop me. I missed the tree-lighting ceremony, but I guess there’s always next time.”

He doesn’t say anything, and his happiness fades quicker than I want. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too. And Tinsel,” I say. “I thought about getting a cat after spending so much time with her.”

“She’s been meowing a lot since you’ve left. I think she got used to you.”

I place my hand on my heart and swallow. I want to reach out and grab him and confess how fucking miserable I’ve been since I left, how I’ve done nothing but think about him, and how I finished that sad book and cried in the bathtub while drinking wine. But I don’t. Not yet. The last thing I want to do is emotionally manipulate him. I don’t want him to feel sorry for me, not when I’ve knowingly put myself in this position.

I’m used to fucking up and owning it, and now is no different.

“When your father buys the farm, you think he’ll immediately level it?” he asks, and it’s a reminder of why I’m here.

“He probably would,” I tell him truthfully and watch Jake’s jaw clench. “But that’s not happening.”

He turns to me with confusion on his face. “It is, Claire.”

I shake my head and stand, pulling an envelope from my back pocket and handing it to him.

He looks down at it and then back at me. “What is it?”

“Open it, please.”

CHAPTER 32

JAKE

The envelope feels thick in my hand, and the angry part of my soul tells me to throw it in the fire and walk away because whatever is inside doesn’t matter. But when I meet her sparkling blue eyes filled with hope and regret, I can’t.

Claire’s a woman who does things with intention. She wouldn’t have flown from New York and driven this way with more weather rolling in without a particular reason. Not after what happened the first time she traveled here alone.

I’m fully aware that whatever is tucked inside this envelope will either help or destroy any potential of us ever having a relationship. With where we stand now, there is no in between. That saddens me. I’ve never been one to have an all-or-nothing mentality, but with her, I have to.

Above all, I have to protect my heart.

I suck in a deep breath and turn my attention back to her. “Why did you block me?”

I don’t flip open the flap, not yet, not until I get some of the answers I need. I don’t care what it says and won’t look until my questions are addressed.

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