Page 104 of A Very Merry Mistake

She sucks in a deep breath, and her expression grows sad. “It’s not over yet.”

“No, it’s not.”

CHAPTER 28

JAKE

I’ve been in a bad mood all day.

Last night I drank with Hank, and we played darts in my workshop. I should’ve gone to sleep earlier but didn’t. Now I’m paying for it.

Hudson hands me one of the chainsaws he just sharpened. The blade is shiny silver. “Why are you being such an asshole?” he asks.

“Just taking after you.” I grip the chainsaw’s handle, not letting it slip, then turn to walk away. Being alone is all I want, so I’ve avoided people. The happy Jake that everyone expects is long gone. There isn’t anything to be happy about anymore.

Just as I set the chainsaw in the back of the truck, Hudson places a firm hand on my shoulder, turning me around so I’m face-to-face with him.

He lowers his voice, and I know he’s trying to not cause a scene, but I don’t appreciate him reprimanding me, either. “You’ve acted this way for a week,” he says. “It’s time to cut the shit.”

“Don’t be a hypocrite,” I throw back. “You act like this twenty-four seven, and we’re all supposed to accept your shitty behavior and move on and not mention it. God forbid anyone else be upset.”

He narrows his eyes. “Lemme know when you’re finished actin’ like a little bitch.”

My anger takes hold, and I push him hard, putting my weight and strength into it. As if he expected this reaction, Hudson braces himself, keeping his feet planted, and barely stumbles. Then his strong hands are on me. He grabs my shirt with his fists, slamming me back against the truck. He pins me in place with his weight as he glares into my eyes, his nostrils flaring, and I know I’ve struck a nerve. Good, now we’re even. Hudson has always been bigger and stronger than me. Right now is no different.

“Listen. I understand you’re fucking hurt. I know you’re upset. No one is invalidating the way you feel. But we have a job to do, and I’d rather you do it without walking around with a goddamn chip on your shoulder the entire day. Customers have noticed, Jake. And considering our financial problems, bad reviews are the last thing we need to haunt us, okay? So get your shit together—that’s a fucking order—or I’m putting you on leave for the rest of the season.” He lets go of me.

I’m seething and want to slam my fist into his face, but he’s not my enemy. There is just too much truth to his words.

“Go to hell,” I mutter.

“I’m already there.” He glares at me. “I know you were falling in love with her. Okay? But don’t forget that I also know what it feels like to be left behind. At least Claire is still out there somewhere, and you could potentially reconcile. It’s not over yet. Not until she’s signs on the dotted line.”

I shake my head. “There is no reconciling. After spending the last week thinking about it, I’m convinced what we had and shared wasn’t real. I’ve come to terms with it being over. A relationship built on lies isn’t one I want anyway. It’s just all fucked up.”

He tilts his head. “When you’re done having your pity party and have had some time, we’ll talk about this. Okay?”

“Pity party? No. This is my reality.”

When I meet his eyes, I can tell he’s not convinced.

“Listen, I saw you two together, Jake. People can tell a lie, but they can’t fake the way their body responds. It was more than obvious at the bar that the feelings you two shared were mutual. And yeah, you’re right. What she did is fucked up, but nothing happened. You’re pissed at the could-have-beens. You’re upset that everyone in town is whisperin’ about how your girlfriend betrayed you. Who gives two fucks about any of that?” He pats his chest over his heart. “Both of your truths are here, but you’re too hurt even to recognize that, and honestly, I don’t have time for it during the busiest days of the season. So act like a grown-ass man and do your job without a scowl. And maybe be nice to people? Shit. Never thought I’d be having this conversation with you. Lucas, yeah, with him it’s a flip of a coin. But you? Never.” He turns and walks away, not looking back.

I shake my head. I’m thankful to be handling pre-cuts because I can’t put on a fake smile and pretend I’m a happy guy when I’m not. Unlike Claire, I can’t fake my way through life.

For the next few hours, I cut down trees and load them on the lowboy. Typically, work like this would take my mind off anything, but right now, it’s pointless. My thoughts are filled with Claire, her laugh, the smell of her shampoo, the way she sighed contentedly against my mouth when I randomly kissed her.

Was it all fake? The problem is I don’t know. I’d like to believe it wasn’t. But after what I’ve read online about her being a snake in the grass, I’m not sure.

Once I deliver my last load of trees for the day, I drive to my grandma’s. She called me yesterday and made me promise I’d see her today. After I had it out with Hudson, I thought about asking for a rain check, but I’ve hurt enough people today. Grandma has been lonely since Grandpa passed away, and I’ve never ditched an invite. So I force myself to see her, knowing I might not be the best company, but I’ll at least try.

When I walk in, she’s sitting in the living room with a cup of hot tea in a gold-rimmed teacup. Even that makes me think of Claire.

“I made your favorite cake, honey.” Grandma says. “Strawberry crème. It’s in the kitchen.”

I smile at her. “Want me to grab you a slice, too?”

“Sure.”

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