Page 58 of A Jilted Bride for the Cowboy

“It’s not that complicated. He broke up with you. You’re not obligated to take him back, even if it lets your parents save face. Parents who love their kids would never ask them to take the hit that way.”

“I know.”

“Then why? This is a serious question.”

It hadn’t seemed right to dump the whole sordid mess on her roommate. Wasn’t it gossip to do that? “There’s more to it, but I can’t get into it.” She had with Mr. Sullivan, though. Why was that different? Somehow it was.

Paisley poured boiling water into her teapot, swirled it, and dumped it out before refilling it and dropping in two teabags. Something black, strong, and caffeinated, no doubt. Cadence should have refused.

Wasn’t this the story of her life? All she did was cave under pressure and let other people dictate how she lived. She’d thought she was making her own decisions since college, but probably Paul and her parents had been steering her all along. The job at Lake Effect had seemed a godsend, but wasn’t Mr. Harraldsson a friend of her mom’s brother? Nepotism there, too. Always.

It was who you knew, not what you knew.

Even here. If Graham hadn’t been the one to deliver Paul’s news, she wouldn’t be in Montana. He’d offered her everything she’d asked for: a job, a place to live, a refuge.

A refuge until Paul had followed her, flanked by her parents in their relentless pressure for her to marry him after all.

She owed everything to Graham, and that was why she had to put on the brakes before she went even deeper in debt to him.

Sure, he said he loved her, but how long would that profession last if he were stuck with her, day in and day out? She didn’t want a marriage that was merely an escape hatch.

Cadence could come to love Graham — she was more than halfway there — but how would she know when or if her feelings were real? True? Deep?

And would his stick? His parents were too much like Paul’s and her own, all consumed by what society thought of them. Staying together because showing a united front made them feel stronger, not because they loved each other. It was simply more profitable to stay put for various reasons than separate.

She didn’t want a marriage like that, but it was the only model she had. The only model Graham had had. His aunt and uncle had split up, so they didn’t demonstrate the kind of marriage she hoped to have one day, either.

Was true, lasting love only a fairy tale?

“Here.” Paisley parked a cup of black tea on the table in front of her. “You’ve said you have two options, but there must be more.”

“Marry Paul, or don’t marry him. That’s two.”

“So, let’s pick ‘don’t marry him.’ What are the options then? Marry Graham — girl, I can’t believe he asked you, and you turned him down!”

Cadence stared into the cup and inhaled the fragrance of bergamot as though she could draw physical strength from it. “Don’t you see? I’m only a means to an end with everyone. I think… I think I just didn’t run far enough away.” Although Montana had seemed extremely distant from Chicago throughout the very long drive.

Paisley shook her head. “You don’t have to do everything yourself. For instance — and I shouldn’t have to remind you of this — there’s God. He’s got your best in mind. He’ll lead you if you lean on Him.”

“Romans 8:28. That’s what Mr. Sullivan said.”

“Right. Good on him.” Paisley took a deep sip and let out a long, contented sigh. “There’s nothing like tea to align brain cells.”

Maybe it wasn’t tea. Maybe it was the reminder of God. Cadence pushed back from the table. “The next verses talk about nothing separating us from the love of God.”

“Right. Neither life, nor death, nor… a whole bunch of things. A pretty all-encompassing list, as I recall.”

Cadence rose to her feet. “Paisley, I appreciate you, but I can’t drink this tonight. Not without staying up for hours, which I might do anyway, because I have a lot to think about. But maybe I’ll start with that chapter of Romans.”

Paisley cradled her teacup between her palms and nodded. “I’ll pray for you.”

“Please do. I need all the help I can get.” Cadence turned to the ladder for the loft but paused with her foot on the bottom rung. What had she just said? That she needed help. Then why couldn’t she accept Graham’s offer? He was never going to throw his weight around and bully her.

No, she’d made the right choice turning him down. He was a rescuer through and through, and he was responding in a way that aligned with his nature. She didn’t want to be rescued. She wanted to be loved.

And hopefully the answer was in scripture.

Chapter Sixteen

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