Page 55 of Before I Tell You

A. Heart. Attack.

“Thank you for taking me and for coming with me.” I can’t stop the tears from welling up in my eyes. “I don’t know what I would have done if I had to come here alone.” My hands are gripping his shirt for dear life, not ready to let go as I feel the elevator rising.

“I’m here,” Nathan says before leaning his head back and placing a gentle kiss on my forehead.

My stomach plummets when I hear the doors open.

But Nathan takes my hand in his and leads us off the elevator to search for room 405. We take a left and begin walking down the hallway until we both see it simultaneously and freeze.Robert Spenceris on the paper nameplate next to the door, triggering my breathing to waver.

It’s becoming too real for me.

“I’ll be right out here waiting for you,” Nathan promises.

I nod and take a deep breath before pushing the door open with unsteady hands.

My heart sinks.

Sound asleep in a hospital bed, my dad is hooked up to multiple wires, which are monitoring him. The rhythmic beep of one of the scary-looking machines brings me some comfort, though, hearing his heart is now doing ok. My mom is sleeping on the chair next to him, while Jason is sprawled out on the sofa in the back of the room covered by a thin hospital blanket.

The sight of my sleeping family spreads a warmth through me that I’ve desperately needed since my mom’s call.

I quietly close the door and walk back out into the hallway where I find Nathan sitting in a chair that is way too small for his massive body. His head is leaning back against the white wall, his legs are fully stretched out, and his eyes are closed. However, when he hears me approach, his eyes immediately open and he awkwardly jumps up from the chair.

“Everyone is asleep, including my dad,” I say, feeling just the tiniest bit calmer.

“Well, that’s good.” He gives a reassuring smile and puts his hands in his pockets, unsure of what to say next.

“I think I should probably stay here tonight with them.” I point to the room where my family is sleeping.

“Yeah, of course. I can turn this chair into my bed for the night.” He glances down at the relatively small chair before looking back at me. “I want to be here for you.”

My heart turns into mush.

I take a step closer to him and wrap my arms around him as far as they will reach. “I really appreciate that, but I don’t want you sleeping in that tiny, uncomfortable chair in the middle of the hallway. I’d offer you the couch in the room, but it looks like Jason has staked it out as his own.” I try my best to give an uplifting smile. “I’ll be ok. I promise.”

“Are you sure?” he asks, hoping I’ll change my mind.

“I’m sure.” I stand on my tiptoes to give him a light but much-needed kiss. It’s like the instant our lips meet, I can feel the world aligning on its axis at a perfect 23.4 degrees. The way it’s supposed to. The way it should always be.

It feelsright.

As we slowly pull apart, I keep my eyes closed, enjoying his taste, until I hear him speak. “Well, if you’re absolutely sure, then … I think I’ll head back to school.”

“What? Why would you do that?”

“Well, the whole situation with my dad …” He looks embarrassed about what he is going to say. “I don’t think I should be staying at my house tonight … alone.”

“Oh, Nathan, I didn’t even think about that. How selfish of me, I can’t believe—” I start to say as I bring my hands up to my face, but Nathan interjects.

“No, don’t worry.” He puts his large hands on my shoulders and looks directly into my eyes. “It’s really not a big deal. I can come back to pick you up and bring you to school whenever you’re ready.”

“No, you’re not driving all the way back to school at this time of night, especially in a torrential downpour.” I’m trying to think of somewhere for him to go when it occurs to me that there is a place only five minutes from here where he can sleep. “I know. You’ll stay at my house.”

“What? No. I can’t do that.” He shakes his head.

“Oh, yes, you can. Trust me. My parents won’t mind at all. The house key is under the blue planter on the porch, and you can sleep in the guest room or … you can sleep in my room.” I leave the option open for him. “If you want to,” I add.

“Your room?” He raises his eyebrows.

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