Page 8 of Before I Tell You

Not that Nathan wasn’t in shape in high school, because he certainly was. He was probably the most attractive guy in school, if not the whole town for that matter. But I had never seen him look this fit, this muscular.

And not the kind of muscular body you obtain from spending too much time in the gym. No. This kind of muscular body was created by the gods. Well, that and probably hard work.

I knew he was involved with almost every sports team back in his high school days, including baseball. He was especially good at baseball. Probably even the best on the team, which is how he earned himself a full scholarship to the school he had been attending in New Hampshire.

So why did he leave?I wonder.

Yet, even with the noticeable physical changes, Nathan still looked like the same guy I had always known.

His dark brown hair was pushed back, a little longer than I’d seen before, but I’m not complaining. I wasn’t used to the stubble on his face, but it only enhances his chiseled jawline, so again, I’m not complaining. And his deep brown eyes still held the same trance over me as they always had.

But it was his smile I remember most. His smile could make your worst day seem like a distant memory. When he smiled, you couldn’t help but smile too.

Damn Nathan Thomas.

I bury my face in my hands, feeling so confused.

The whole point of me going to school in Boston was to have less chance of seeing someone I know. Especially someone like Nathan.

I put the napkin I realize I am still clutching in the very bottom of my bag, planning to forget about it, and start walking to the campus bookstore just down the road.

* * *

The bookstore is filled with young, ambitious students trying to purchase all of their textbooks before classes begin in just a couple of days. I walk around, familiarizing myself with what the whole store has to offer. There’s a smoothie shop in the back, a lounge area to the left, and hundreds of books stacked neatly on shelves.

The irresistible smell of new books fills the air, which has always been one of my favorite scents, instantly bringing a sort of calmness to my mind.

After only a few minutes, I find all the textbooks I need and head to the counter to pay for my items.

A young couple in front of me in line shows no embarrassment about the amount of PDA they are putting on display for everyone. The girl has her hands wrapped around the guy’s neck, and he’s bent down, kissing her over and over again.

And once again, Nathan pops into my head.

Why, of all the billions of people in this whole gigantic damn world, did it have to be Nathan Thomas who would find me? The world must have a cruel sense of humor.

A daydream starts playing in my head in which Nathan and I are the couple in front of me. As I run my fingers through his dark thick hair, Nathan wraps his arms firmly around me. His head tilts down, bringing his soft lips closer to mine, and then …

The loud ding from the nearby cash register brings me back to reality. I realize I have been staring at the couple and turn crimson red when the guy notices and smiles. I turn my head, pretending I wasn’t looking their way, and reach in my bag to find that damn napkin with Nathan’s phone number so that I can toss it in the closest trash can.

But just as I begin to dig around, I feel the whole bag vibrate and realize it’s my phone. I pull it out and see my mom’s name displayed on the screen.

“Hey, mom.”

“Hi, honey! How is your first day on your own going?” she asks.

“It’s fine. I was just having a coffee down at the local coffee shop and getting ahead on some reading.” She does not need to know who else was there. “And I’m actually at the bookstore now getting everything for my classes.”

“Well, that’s nice. Did you go out last night and meet anyone?” she asks. There’s a hint of desperation in her voice.

“No, I was pretty tired after you guys left, so I stayed in for the night. I’m sure I will meet some people when classes start on Monday.” I wasn’t too confident about this, and I’m sure my mom wasn’t either. We both know I’m not the best at making friends since I always come off as being pretty shy.

“You’re right, sweetie. Sorry. You know I just miss you. The house felt so empty last night without you. The boys wouldn’t watch any of my shows with me.”

“I miss you too, mom.” I feel my chest tighten a little from this realization.

“Sweetie, I was also wondering … how did you sleep last night?”

I knew this was the real reason why she had called. I had to lie. I couldn’t tell her the truth and make her worry about me while I’m away from home. She saw firsthand what the nightmares would do to me.

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