Page 64 of Wreaking Havoc on my Heart

It’s a lie. While I’m worried about all of our safety, it’s not why I’m pulling away. Laney’s brows pinch like she can sense something is off, so I lean in and kiss her.

She kisses me back, but something feels different. She still feels like she’s a part of me but not like before. Now with Havoc’s taste still on my lips and hers moving with mine, everything feels all too right, and I don’t know what to do with that.

So, I pull back and plan to fake it—fake that I’m not being torn apart inside. As I draw her into me, Havoc comes in. Without a word, we all fall asleep in a mess of tangled limbs and I have to keep my heart in check.

I love them, but they don’t love me.

Chapter 22

It’s mission day. While I’m ready to finally take down this butthead of a man who tried to take my family from me and succeeded in taking my best friend’s family, I’m also so confused.

Arrow has been so quiet these past few days, and I’m hoping it really is just the mission ahead. Maybe he gets like this before big tasks and I’ve just never seen that side of him before. I have no idea.

Havoc and I decided we would wait until after today to talk to Arrow about how we are both feeling and tell him that we love him. But I’m sitting in the car on our way to the airport and can’t help but question if that was a good idea or not.

Arrow and I are similar in the way that we bury our emotions. So while he’s sitting here holding my hand, I can feel that he’s a million miles away. We arrive at the airport and after a quick debrief from Alexi over comms, we move to our positions.

Havoc hugs me as he leaves, then plants a kiss on my cheek and whispers, “I love you, unicorn. Go kick some ass.”

I blush under his praise, and he squeezes Arrow’s shoulder. “Keep her safe, brother. I don’t think either of us could live without her.”

Arrow nods, finally coming back to the present. “I’ll protect her with my life.”

When Havoc leaves, I take Arrow’s hand while we walk to the stairs.

“You doing okay?” I ask him. Something feels even more off today, and it’s not just the mission. He won’t really look at me and he definitely won’t look at Havoc.

“I don’t really know.”

“Arrow.” I turn him toward me on the stairs. I don’t want him going into this fight as distracted as he is. It’s like there’s a glaze over his eyes. I kiss him and he kisses me back, but it almost feels like goodbye.

“Talk to me.” Maybe I can help him get his head in the game.

“I… I don’t think I can do this anymore. I don’t know if I can just share you.”

I’m about to full-on freak out at him when gunfire erupts outside. No one is supposed to be here yet. His eyes lock on mine, and we know the gravity of the situation in an instant.

We just walked into an ambush.

Chapter 23

“Sniper on the roof.” Our comms connect, and I cover my girl. She screams as we hear a pop in the distance, but my only thought is protecting Laney.

Pain erupts across my back and shoulder but my first instinct when we land is to check her. I try to move my shoulder as the comms fade in and out, but Laney grabs me and flips us.At least she’s okay.

“Why?” she screams in my face. “Why in the ever-loving bug on a stick would you do that?”

She’s frantic as she tears off her jacket and holds it to my chest. I can’t tell how bad it is. But by the look in her eyes and the sheer amount of pain I’m in, I’d say it's definitely in the top three worst hits I’ve ever received.

I cough, my body jostling as I feel blood trickle into my lungs. But I have to tell her, she has to know. They both do.

“I…” blood seeps from my mouth with each breath, but I refuse to leave this world without saying these words. “I love you. Both of you.”

“No!” she yells as she tears her jacket, creating a ball with part of it while tightening the rest over my shoulder and arm. It’s one of the most complicated places to try and relieve bleeding with consistent pressure, and I just know I’ve got about ten minutes left.

“Don’t you dare tell me that right now! Not after everything! You don’t get to say that and then die on me! Not when I have so much I still need to say to you.”

She pulls the two ends of the knot tighter, making me gasp in pain, but I continue to cough up blood. Havoc’s face comes into view a moment later.

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