Page 63 of Wreaking Havoc on my Heart

“Such a good boy.”

“My perfect magical creature.”

Chapter 21

Staying in Havoc’s room was a bad idea. Everything smells like him. The bed. The bathroom. Everything. And all I can keep thinking is how fucked I am. We are about to be distracted on this mission because of me, and I’m stuck in a room that constantly reminds me of half of what I’m missing.

I tried to go back to them, but when I heard them fucking through the door, it only solidified that they are okay without me. Even if I’m a mess without them.

A knock sounds at the door and my heart foolishly does a flip, aching for it to be one of them. When I open it to find Havoc, a lump forms in my throat. The way his green eyes sparkle actually makes my chest ache because they make me think of her. Of them.

“What?” I croak out.

Havoc stares at me for a second before pushing his way into the room.

“Don’t ‘what’ me, you stupid bastard.”

He stalks toward me. I know backing away from a predator is a bad move, but I can’t think right now. My body instinctively moves without permission. My head is too jumbled up.

All too soon, his hand is around my throat, squeezing. He cuts off my air supply while slamming me back into the wall.

“I don’t know if I want to kiss you or punch you in the throat,” he seethes in my face.

It makes me as angry as it turns me on, and he knows it. I don’t even get the chance to protest before his lips find mine. I’m helpless as I stand there and let him take from me.

That’s what he does. He takes. All while proving a point. A point I don’t want to be reminded of because I’mnotbi, and I don’t know how I can be with two people who love each other but not me.

When he pulls back, I know I have to find a way to fix this so we aren’t all distracted. I can play this game for a few more days. I can go on caring for them even if it breaks me.

“I’m sorry,” I breathe. His forehead touches mine as he exhales.

“Don’t apologize to me, go apologize to her.”

Havoc’s hand finally leaves my throat. I refuse to focus on how much I want him to keep it there and really put me in my place. He steps back, but the haunted look in his eyes remains. I’m confused by it because Laney should be enough for him. She should be everything. So why when I leave to go find her, does it feel like Havoc is pulling at my heart too?

I get to Laney’s room to see her sitting on the bed in a pink nighty reading a book. It’s cute as fuck, and I have to keep reminding myself not to get too attached.

Who am I kidding, I’ll never be unattached to this intelligent, stunning woman.Just when I think she hasn’t noticed me staring, she looks up from the pages with an arched brow.

“Oh, has the big boy finally decided to come and talk about his feelings instead of running away from them?”

I shift in the doorway, but she just pats the bed beside her. I don’t think there’s any way I’m getting out of this without staying in here with them.

Honestly, I’m thankful though because if I had to spend a night in a room that smelled only of Havoc, I think I would end up confusing myself even more.

I mean, he kissed me, but I’m not bi. I never have been. Isn’t that something you have to decide at a young age or when you start to find your sexuality? I feel like I would be a fraud if he was the only exception to that rule.

I sit by Laney and my shoulders fall.

“I don’t know what to do here, Kitten.”

She takes my hand in hers. “Talk to me. What’s happening?”

“Everything just feels messed up inside.”

“Messed up how?” She shifts closer to me and I let her. She has always been a source of comfort for me. The only one I really want to touch.Except for maybe Havoc. But I push that thought aside.

“Can we just focus on what we need to do here and maybe talk about everything after? I think it’s just the pressure of what’s coming up?”

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