Page 23 of Wreaking Havoc on my Heart

I pour my drink and set the bottle next to me on the edge of the tub. This is going to make for a fun dinner tonight. The whole bottle won’t make me sloppy drunk, but maybe it will be enough to help me ignore how much I’m already missing Havoc.

It’s strange how he’s become such an important fixture in my life already. His constant touches in the gym. More than a few times we would end up in odd positions with him between my legs or me straddling him, and we’d freeze.

Time seemed to stop just for us in those moments. His bright green eyes became something I craved every morning when I woke up. Knowing he’s not here now leaves an ache in my chest that has me constantly rubbing at it.

Havoc looks at me in a way no man ever has before. I don’t feel like an object to him; I feel like a warrior. When we train together, he’s sure to point out all of my strong points while coaching me on my weaknesses. But he has this way of pointing them out that doesn’t make me feel less than or like a failure. He believes I can grasp every concept he teaches me. I think he’s the reason I’m finally starting to get stronger physically and mentally.

He’s given me so many techniques to build endurance as well, making sure I no longer feel like the weak link in the group. For the first time in a long time, I feel like someone really sees me. It’s in the way he looks at me, comforts me, and buys me gifts. It all makes me feel like someones really paying attention. Almost as if he knows what I need before I do because he’s caught a glimpse into my soul.

I shake off the thought as I submerge my body into the warm water. Every muscle I’ve been pushing so hard the past few weeks starts to relax as I sink into it. The champagne is cold as it meets my lips. Before I know it the bubbles are going to my head, making me want to giggle to myself. When a video call from Nessa pops up, I answer immediately.

“Hey girl,” I say cheerily.

Nessa, being Nessa, looks mildly uncomfortable. I’ve found that’s her normal state though. I shrug it off easily and get to the girl talk.

“So, what kind of presents did you get today? Anything special?”

I try not to think about how this is the first Christmas I’m spending without my family, or how much I miss them. Our traditions were always so strong, and I never thought there would be a day that I wouldn’t even be able to call them for the holiday. Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I focus on the call and let my new friend distract me.

“Actually, yeah.” Even though the bubbles are covering us well, Nessa still drapes an arm over her chest as she speaks. “So, I’m going to tell you something and this is going to stay between us. Deal?”

I lift a brow but agree. “Deal.”

“Boris had like fifty gifts delivered to me today.”

My eyes widen in shock as Nessa scoots down into the water, almost as if she’s trying to shy away from me.

“Boris? As in the great Russian mafia king? Like, Alexi’s dad. That Boris?”

After Christmas with him and the gifts he gave us, it’s clear the man cares, but to send that many gifts...

“Weird right?” Her cheeks tinge with a pink hue, and I have a feeling it has nothing to do with the temperature of the water.

“Nessa O’Neill, do you have a crush?”

“Noooooo, I just. Gobshite. Okay fine, maybe. But he’s literally old enough to be my father!”

I laugh. “Nothing says daddy issues like dating a man your dad’s age.”

Nessa chokes on her drink then glares daggers at me, but I shrug it off. We both know she hates her father.

“So wait, what did he get you?”

She rolls her lips, even as they pull into a smile.

“A little bit of everything a girl could ever want. Bath bombs and oils in my favorite scents, which I had no idea how he knew about unless it was just a lucky guess.”

I laugh.Does she even know who Boris is?

“Ness, that man has more resources at his fingertips than we will ever be able to comprehend. I bet he found a way to look into your past purchases.”

She rolls her eyes, but I can see her interest piqued.

“Anywayyyy, he wrote a note too, and I am just so confused. I want to be off this island before anything can happen. I have a strange feeling Alexi might murder me if he knew.”

“Between me and you, babe, that man is a teddy bear dressed up as some baddie mafia king. He is literally the most gentle person with Evie and didn’t kill me after he found out the truth. Classic closet golden retriever right there.”

Nessa chuckles at that. “Yeah, okay, and I’m secretly an emo mommy domme.”

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