Page 77 of Mafie Trials

The gentleness of his tone has me zoned in on only him. His brown eyes sparkle back at me in a way that makes me believe his words in the depths of my soul.

“It’s not that I don’t want to talk to her again. It’s more that…I wish I had something I could do that isn’t just talking to someone.”

I don’t even know if that makes sense or if I’m grasping at straws here, but Daimen has a way of seeing what I’m trying to say without me having to spell it all out for him. The tattoo gun stops buzzing, and I find Lev looking over at Alexi. It’s clear there’s still something they’re keeping from me.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” I nearly yell. “Spit it the fuck out. I’m not a child in need of coddling. What are you not telling me?”

Damien chuckles at my outburst, but I can see Lev and Alexi are still concerned.

“We wanted to talk to you about an idea Dr. K had,” Alexi speaks up, finally.

“Okay, what idea?”

“There’s a way,” Lev begins, “to work on your trauma responses and the memories that doesn’t involve talking to Dr. K directly.”

“And that is?”

Damien answers this time. “Do you remember when you had that sub drop a few weeks ago?”

I nod, still not understanding what that has to do with therapy.

“Before that happened, did you feel like you were almost in a state of floating between universes?”

“Yeah, but I figured that was just the orgasm.”

Damien pinches his lips together, trying to hold back a smirk and doing an awful job at it. Alexi steps up to the side of the table and runs a hand down my other leg.

“That’s called the subspace. It creates a safe space for you in your mind when you give up control. It helps to create an environment where you can face more trauma at once because you’re more numb to it.”

He sits down next to me and takes my hand in his as he continues.

“Dr. K mentioned it could possibly help, but she has only attempted it a handful of times. However, because she’s been coaching me for three years in this world and Damien for just over a year, she feels confident we can help you through it. The only thing is, doing this requires a lot of trust and understanding. There is always a risk of a sub drop afterwards.”

Lev steps in then. “It’s not an idea to be taken lightly, and it’s not something we would ever do without your consent.”

My head spins with this information. The sub drop definitely didn’t feel good, but the way they helped bring me back to my body sort of did. I’m not saying I’m the kind of girl who relies on her men to bring her snacks and water and sit in a bubble bath with her, but I sure as hell would never turn it down.

“Just think about it. Don’t make any rash decisions,” Lev says. “I need a quick break to use the restroom and get the colors poured, but it’s almost done. Why don’t you take a look while I’m gone.” He gives me a small peck on the lips before leaving the room.

There’s a full-length mirror on one wall. Damien helps me stand up to check out what sitting for the past three hours has earned me. Alexi brought me one of my older t-shirts that’s a bit too large, but also my favorite to sleep in. There’s a skeleton girl with a bun in her hair and a coffee in her hand that says ‘caffeinated to death’.

I approach the mirror and I’m instantly in love with the design. It’s just the outline with some shading, but I can already see how well it’s working with the scars. The detail is astounding.

“Well shit,” I breathe.

“He’s a fucking genius,” Damien says next to me.

“I think I like the ink on you, Princess.” Alexi’s hands wrap around my waist while he admires the tattoo in the mirror with me.

“I think I’d let Lev cover my entire body if all of his designs are this perfect,” I say.

“They are,” Damien says. I study his tattoos. They range from color to black and white, some realism, others tribal, and a few that look like paintings.

“Did Lev do them all?” I ask Damien.

“Yup, well, all except this one.” He points to a tattoo behind his ear I never really noticed before. It’s a small sun that’s tucked in tight to his ear, almost blending with the other tattoos that cover his neck. “This is courtesy of the Sun's Bratva.”

I swear I’ve seen that tattoo before, but I can’t place it. My thoughts on the matter disappear as Damien strips his shirt and starts telling me about the piece on his back. It’s a detailed collage of angels and demons and a battle they are having over a small jeweled box in the center.

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