Page 45 of Mafie Trials

I find myself in awe of the scenery. Everything looks so fresh and luscious even in the dead of winter.

“This is where I go to think,” he tells me as he removes his gloves. “I thought maybe you could use it too, if you needed.”

He shrugs, walking up to the door and knocking the dirt off his shoes before he opens it. I do the same, following him inside. Alexi carefully removes his jacket and seems to arrange it a specific way as he hangs it by the door and then does the same with mine. A few months ago, I’d make a snide comment about him being particular, but now that I know he has to have things a certain way to feel in control and content, I’m sure as fuck not going to poke at that.

The cabin is cozy and warm, a fresh fire crackling in the fireplace and two large cozy chairs beside it. It’s an open floor plan with a huge king sized bed that sits in the back with a small kitchen to the side. I take it all in as I warm my limbs up and take a seat in one of the chairs. Alexi comes to sit in the other, and I can’t help but feel like an eighty-year-old couple sitting by the fire.

“Are you going to stop hovering now?” I ask him gently, needing to know if this was all supposed to be a distraction or if he actually heard me.

“I don’t know,” he says quietly, like he knows what he’s doing is wrong but can’t help himself.

I get up, not wanting our disagreement to separate us. Our back and forth is too much right now. We’ve chosen each other, so it’s about time we made good on that. Before I even make it over to him, his legs part and he reaches out, pulling me down to his lap and cradling me. It’s soft and sweet and nothing like the man I thought I knew. Alexi may be as hard as iron on the outside, but on the inside, he’s just a little boy who wants to be loved.

“What is it you’re afraid of?” I ask. He’s quiet for a moment. It’s a deep ask, but if he’s going to keep hovering, I at least need to be able to understand why.

“I’m afraid of losing you. Every time…” he trails off, his voice cracking ever so slightly. I stay still in his arms, waiting to see if he wants to go further with that explanation or not. Eventually, he lets out a breath and continues. “Every time I care about something, it’s either hurt, taken away, or killed.”

I look up at him and wrap my arms around his neck, bringing us eye to eye. I get it now, but he needs to understand where I’m coming from too.

“I’m not hurt easily. No one is going to take me away because I won’t let them. And if I die, I need you to know and understand it was on my terms. I was doing something I thought was right. Not just sitting here in a cage.”

He nods carefully then looks away.

“Why don’t you ever sleep with us?” I ask him, having stayed up countless times thinking about what he was doing in his insanely large room, in his giant ass bed, alone.

“I can get really possessive when I sleep, and you haven’t read my list yet. You not only don’t know what I’m into, but it also might scare you. I don’t think I could handle you looking truly afraid of me again.”

Well holy shit, the man just opened up to me. Like, really opened up and gave me a vulnerable piece of himself and trusted me with it.

“Then send me your list and I’ll send you mine. I’m not afraid of you, Batman. I’m afraid of what you can do to me. I’ve never needed anyone before, and now I find myself not only needing one, but three men. While that may be a little scary, it doesn’t mean I’m afraid of you going too far because I truly trust all of you with that. I’m just afraid you’ll leave once you see how much of a mess I really am, when all of my demons rise to the surface.”

“Let them rise, Princess. My demons have always been good at dancing with you. Maybe they will enjoy your demons as well.”

Alexi’s fingers thread through my hair, then tighten to pull me in for a kiss. A searing moment that I can feel all the way to my core. I straddle his lap, and his hands rest on my hips before moving under the back of my shirt to rubbing lazy circles, exploring my skin like he wants to memorize it.

When I pull back, we’re breathless but neither of us wants this to go any further. I for one am happy to rearrange myself in his arms and contentedly nap the afternoon away by the fire with my dark knight. He pulls up his list for me and I read through it while his fingers comb through my hair.

I feel like we have worked through something and finally come to an understanding. I would love, live, and even run away with these boys, but my choices and my freedom will always be my own.

Chapter 18

I’ve been doing everything I can to give Evie her space. It’s been a distraction to not be aware of exactly where she is. I find myself looking through the house's security footage and following her movements more often than I’d care to admit. But at least she doesn’t feel followed or watched after this way. I just need to know she’s safe.

After I wrap up a meeting with my father where we worked with the information Lev gave us about the hard-drives, we both decide to go talk to Evie and update her on a few places we could go from here.

I check the video footage to make sure she’s in her room. She went to the gym this morning for a light workout now that she’s been cleared, and I obsessively watched her and made sure the doctor was on call just in case something happened. That, to me, was being reasonable.

I would have preferred to observe the session in person while having a doctor present and her wearing a monitor, just to make sure she didn’t take things too far. But I’m trying to give her space and I feel like she would have taken that poorly.

“I’ll meet you by her door,” I say to my father as we exit the in-home office of his in the west wing of the house.

Our rooms are on the other side, and I know my girl will be starving for some serious protein. So, I want to surprise her with breakfast. I could ask a chef to make it and bring it to her, but there’s something about cooking for my girl that eases the tension in my mind.

I’ve been tense ever since she notified me she was working out this morning and banned Damien and Lev from coming with her.

The guys are still in Damien's bed, where they all slept last night. Evie hasn’t been having night terrors while we’re here. She seems to always find herself sandwiched between the two of them or on top of one of them while the other is tucked into their side. I check on them every night. Watching them sleep isn’t really a sexual thing for me, but more of a calming thing to be able to see the people I care about most are safe and content.

I was surprised the other night when Evie wasn’t put off by anything on my list as she read through it. Not many women are into the submissive daddy’s girl kink, and even fewer can appreciate primal hunting with aggressive fighting. Except, now that I think about her taking me down the way she had, I shouldn’t be surprised that she just might be into the same things. Or at least I hoped she was.

---