Page 62 of Mafie Trials

“Hey, Dr. K. Good to meet with you again.”

She smiles at him but not like a girl who has a crush, more like a mother would in adoration of a child. Her gentle features make me want to trust her. The way Alexi seems to relax so quickly in her presence tells me maybe I could.

They talk for a bit, catching up on life since he traveled to the island. He tells her about how we met and all the awful and crazy things that happened between us. All the while, not a single judgmental word is made to him or me. She validates our feelings and encourages him when he’s at a loss for words.

She asks me about my parents and I open up a little bit, but I don’t give her the story of their deaths. Then, she asks Alexi about his mother and how he’s coping with her being gone now that he has a woman in his life.

“To be honest, sometimes it’s hard. I think about picking up my phone to call and tell her about Evie a lot.”

My heart tugs at his admission, and I find myself drawing closer to him.

“When Evie and I were very young, we met at a gala. I remember being so in love with her that it hurt. I told my mother I wanted to marry her.”

I gasp lightly in surprise, thinking back to that night with him and how perfect our lives were at that time. I squeeze his hand, hoping in some small way, he knows I felt the same even back then.

“And has your position on marriage seemed to change now that you’re with Evie?” Dr. K asks, no pressure in her words.

Alexi looks at me, and I’m taken aback with how child-like he seems, almost too shy to admit his crush on a girl.

“Sometimes,” he confesses.

“How does that make you feel, Evie?” she asks me next, but I’m still caught up in Alexi’s expression.

It’s surprising that I’ve managed to shake his idea of what he thought he wanted for his life.

“I feel…” I take a moment to think about how to put it into words.

I never thought of marriage before, not until Damien and Lev asked me. I realize now I haven't even told Alexi about it yet, and I feel awful. My gut knots at the idea of it hurting him. Tears spring into my eyes, causing Alexi’s face to change from that of a child to a man ready to go on a killing spree.

“A few days ago, Damien and Lev asked me if I would marry them.” I see the shock cross his features, and then he slides on the mask that I never know how to read. My heart aches at the idea of him being mad at me over my response, but I don’t want any lies between us.

“I told them if I said yes it didn’t mean I wasn’t choosing you too.”

“What was your answer, Princess?” He uses my nickname but none of his gentle expressions come with it.

“I said yes,” I say, tilting my head down as a few tears fall from my eyes.

I’ve been working so hard on not letting them fall and accepting that when they do, it’s because I need it. But the last thing I truly wanted right now was to cry.

Alexi’s fingers lift my chin. “Why are you crying?”

“Because I don’t want to hurt you. If you never want that from me then that’s okay. I never knew I wanted it until they asked.”

Silence stretches out between us and even the great Dr. K doesn’t have anything to add. Maybe this was the wrong time to bring it up. I’m not good at this. I don’t know how to open myself up or talk through this shit.

“How does that make you feel, Alexi?” Dr. K asks after what feels like hours pass.

“Sad.” It’s all he says. My heart feels like it’s being shattered before he starts speaking again.

“I’m sad because I wish it was something we could have all discussed. I’m sad because if we asked you, I would have preferred it be all of us together. I’m sad because you think you did something wrong by loving my brothers. And I’m sad because you feel like you still have to hide parts of yourself from me out of fear over how I’ll react.”

My lips part in shock. I don’t know what to say to that. I hate that he’s sad, but I also just heard a man who apparently swore off all possibilities about marriage say that he would have asked me eventually.

“But,” he continues and my heart swells in my chest, the shattered pieces seeming to come back together. “I’m sure as fuck glad that I still have the chance to propose to you and make it even better than theirs.”

He lets the mask slide away. The grin that splits across his face is one I’ve never seen before. It’s sunshine and rain. It’s love and it’s hope.

I wrap my arms around his neck as he pulls me into his lap, moving to set the computer to our side. He holds me so tight I swear the atoms between us are touching. I lean back and kiss him and he kisses me back with purpose.

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