Page 70 of Be My Sinner

Dinah rises gracefully, taking a step forward, and I’m reluctant to release my grip on her even for an instant. I yearn for every man in this room, whose eyes are fixed upon her, to be consumed by envy. Envy that she is now a Rothesay and, above all, mine.

We shift our focus once again to the Holy Father, who approaches Dinah and tenderly cups her masked face through the veil in his large, bejeweled hand. Her breath hitches audibly in her throat, and her lips part in wonder. Her eyes widen and dilate, almost as though she were entranced by his presence.

“It is my honor and my privilege, as your remaining male kin, to give you with my blessing to Ezekiel Rothesay, a loyal and honorable member of the Brotherhood. Together, you will continue the Lord’s good work, Sacred Daughter.”

“It is right to give thanks to the Lord, my God, and to the Brotherhood which keeps its order.”

Her words sound robotic to my ears, and a chill races down my spine. Just as I’m about to reach for her again, the doors to the narthex, which had been closed after her appearance, slam open loudly. Everyone seems to freeze in their motions, and as one, we all turn to view who is standing at the end of the aisle.

A furious and disheveled Abraham Mercier greets all our eyes. By the look gracing his features, he’s about to get himself killed.FUCK!

Chapter 35

The Sinner

Dinah

TheHolyFather’swordssound like a deep, comforting melody in my mind. All the rage I was just feeling about having to go through with the wedding, and becoming a prized pig for Ezekiel Rothesay, seemed to have faded away, leaving behind nothing but a hollow echo of my rage on my blood-stained soul.

Even my need to murder everyone in this room has disappeared. All I feel is a warm, soothing sensation as if I’m somehow floating. I feel as if the world is now filled with ever-lasting peace, thanks to the Brotherhood. The Holy Father wants this for me; he wouldn’t give his blessing if he didn’t.

I want to please him, don’t I?

A deafening crash shatters the hazy veil encasing my mind, jolting me back to my brutal reality. I shake my head and squeeze my eyes shut, to try to re-anchor myself in the present moment.Get it together, Dinah. You are surrounded by enemies.My head swivels lethargically toward the source of the commotion. At the end of the aisle, where I recently walked to confront my grim destiny, stands a wrathful, maskless Abraham Mercier, his lips curved into a sinister smile.

His clothing is a disheveled mess, some pieces not even properly put on, like his unevenly buttoned shirt. His ochre hair falls in unruly waves, with a few clumps matted together. There are still traces of blood on his neck, and dirt smudges on one side of his face. His complexion appears flushed and uneven, marked by a pronounced, angry, throbbing vein on his forehead. He’s a disheveled wreck, yet undeniably captivating, to the point where I can’t tear my eyes away from him.

Even from a distance, you can see clearly there is pain etched on his features as he clutches his side, and forces himself to remain standing. Guilt racks me instantly at knowing I’m the cause for his injury. His amber eyes narrow in on Ezekiel at my side, and an irate grimace crosses his lips.Someone woke up displeased.I feel the corner of my lips tipping upwards underneath the veil.

He resembles an enraged bull, preparing to charge at us. I can’t quite fathom why his anger pleases me, but it does. Deep within my dark soul, I hunger for it. Could it be because I, too, am loathing the situation I find myself trapped in? Perhaps it’s knowing that Ezekiel miscalculated somewhere, and is about to get his comeuppance.

From the corner of my eye, I watch Sarah and Peter, his parents, scramble from their pew and quickly try to approach their son. What they think they will be able to accomplish, I have no idea; the menace and determination on his face are frightening. His stare is both as alarming as it is thrilling, as he tries to see into my very core and dissect what he thinks is there.

Nothing but darkness is left, all of my goodness having been robbed of me long ago. I’m as much a monster as you are. Do you recognize me in yourself, Abraham?

Abraham stops halfway up the aisle as some of the guards warily make their way in his direction. He bows as low as he can while clutching onto his abdomen. “My deepest and sincerest apologies, Holy Father, and fellow Brothers. It seems I have arrived late to the ceremony of my oldest and dearest friend.”

His words are sneered as he stares at the Holy Father. “I could not in all good conscience, even while recovering from my wound, not be here to support and bless this holy union. I ask for your forgiveness and indulgence for the interruption and my lack of timeliness.”

A deep, annoyed sigh sounds behind us from the Holy Father. He must make some sort of motion to the guards because they all pull back, and I watch Abe’s parents scramble for their seats.

“Abraham Mercier, I will forgive you this disrespectful interruption, in light of your recent battle with pure evil in the name of the Brotherhood. Take your seat, and let us not hear another word out of you before the ceremony is complete.”

Abraham bows once again and moves stiffly towards the front pew. His tawny eyes meet mine, and I can see the deep rage in their depths. I guess the fucker is still mad that I shot him.Boohoo, buttercup.

A faint smile tugs at my lips, and I observe his nostrils flaring, before his piercing gaze fixes on Ezekiel, who stands immobilized by my side. My eyes shift between them, and a sense of satisfaction washes over me. It appears we have alovers’ spaton our hands. It seems Sammy and I aren’t the only ones displeased with Ezekiel’s intentions for this sham of a marriage.

“My sacred brothers and sisters, a woman isn’t independent from a man, and a man isn’t independent from a woman in the Lord’s sight. As a sacred woman comes from a man, a sacred man also comes from a woman, but everything comes from God above. Who requires devotion and obedience from all his children.” The Holy Father’s eyes glare at Abraham with his last words from behind his mask.

“It is right to give thanks to the Lord, my God, and to the Brotherhood which keeps its order.” The voices rise in unison, causing dread to start again in the pit of my stomach.

“Husbands and men of the Lord’s blessed order. You are called to protect and serve faithfully. The Lord requires that you live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as she is the weaker vessel. As our blessed father in heaven dictates, you are the stronger of the species. You must protect the wombs of your Sacred Wives, so that you may be blessed in the bounty of heaven. You must protect their weak minds and fragile spirits, so that they are one day called to heaven’s gates. Protect the wombs and spirits of the Sacred Daughters in your care, or that comes from your union, so that they may one day provide soldiers loyal to God’s army. Your heirs will fill you with the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”

“It is right to give thanks to the Lord, my God, and to the Brotherhood which keeps its order.”

My ears burn with the Holy Father’s misogynistic words, and my lips refuse to utter the response. The fog that had draped over me has completely dissipated now, and I can think clearly. Ezekiel must notice my silence; his hand once again cradles my elbow, this time more firmly in his grasp. I feel his fingers tightening on my flesh in warning, and their heat burning through the silk and lace.Fuck you, asshole. You can break my arm; you’re not getting those words past my lips.

“Sacred Wives, you must submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the righteous Lord. Their words must be obeyed. This is how you will honor the Kingdom of Heaven and gain entry. For the husband is the head of the wife and their home, as our God is the head of the church, and I am his image here on earth. As our faithful Order of the Brotherhood submits to our Lord, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

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