Page 48 of Be My Sinner

Gabriel.The name enters my mind and causes me to stop moving. Gabriel would be horrified at what she has become. He would blame himself for not seeing the signs, for not keeping her safe. Did that guard corrupt her? Is he partially to blame for what she has become, or has everything she has endured at the hands of the Brotherhood led to this?

I have to try to save her, even if it means saving her from herself. Gabriel would want me to. He made me promise to protect her. I know now that I have failed him in every way that truly mattered. He gave me a precious diamond to hold, cherish, and protect, and I left her discarded, out in the world for thieves to take. They have chipped away at that rough, priceless diamond and shaped her into what she is now. Can I really blame anyone else when I am at fault?

My pain was too sharp then. It battered my heart with the loss of one of the few people I have genuinely loved. It felt like a part of my soul had been ripped from me and died with him. My guilt at being unable to save him caused me to falter in my duties to Snow.

How much worse must it have been for her?She lost all of her remaining family in one fell swoop. How the loss must have brought her to the brink of insanity. It nearly destroyed me and Abe. How could I have been so self-absorbed, so ignorant, and reckless?She needed me.

She was mine. Given to me by rights as an heir to a Founding Father. By the Brotherhood of the Sacrament, whom I serve. More importantly, she was given to me to protect for the rest of our miserable, unyielding days by her brother and father. I have failed in all of my duties to her and my commitments to them. I have betrayed all my oaths.

A twig cracks in the silent forest that surrounds me. I move quickly in that direction as a small brown hare races from one bush to another in a blur of speed. I release all the air that is trapped in my chest.Fuck, it’s just a rabbit.

I wonder if Abe has managed to find her yet? Shit, we should have never separated from each other. I should have insisted he stay by my side; I should have gone after him when that last bomb detonated. Together, maybe we have a chance to talk some sense into Dinah. To bring her back into the fold.

Do you really think she’s going to listen to the two men who let her down? Who didn’t try to comfort her in her time of need? You abandoned her, left her alone so that you could wallow in your own grief. Her loss was just as significant, if not greater, than yours. He was her brother. She lost both of them in one dark moment in time.

The thoughts circle round and round in my mind, calling me out for misdeeds and my inactions. Proving to me over and over that I am indeed a coward, a cunt who let someone else take care of his responsibility.

This guard has her now entwined in his grasp. He’s taken advantage of my inaction, my weakness. Made her believe that he is her white knight in the fairytales she so desperately clung to as a child. His hold on her must be powerful for her to be out here killing high-valued members of the Brotherhood.

The only other possibility is that maybe I was right before, and it’s her who has him in her grasp. My Snow has always been a manipulative little thing. Her smile alone consistently garnered her anything she wanted. I know that Abe and I were never immune to it. Maybe neither is this fucker. Which one is the correct answer? That is the fucking question.

I spy a small building made of aged wood planks and a dark red metal roof a mere fifty feet away, surrounded by thick pine trees. The air around me is tense, making every breath feel heavy and ominous. Sweat pours down my back, stinging when it comes into contact with my wounds, and my head pounds. I swallow the taste of bile that rises to my lips, forcing myself to keep my steps cautious as I move towards the small building. My ears perk at every sound around me as my eyes dart from side to side.Where the fuck are they?

One minute, I’m walking across the ground filled with vegetation and old pine needles; the next, I’m flying backward twenty or more feet through the air, and landing on my back with a harsh oomph. My ears are ringing with the loud bang that accosts me.Fuck, I triggered a hidden grenade or something! These psychopaths have the forest rigged with booby traps.

I try to get my elbows underneath me and force my body into a sitting position. The whole world is spinning and turning upside down before me. The bile returns, and I have no choice but to turn my head to the side and let it unleash from my system. When I’m done, I wipe my sour mouth with the back of my hand, and try to get my legs to hold me.

“You should just stay down, you fucking cunt,” a thick voice calls to me, filled with amusement.

I scramble to my feet and dive behind the thick trunk of an old, gnarled oak tree right as he opens fire, and bullets rain across the space, taking chunks of bark in their wake.Jesus fucking Christ, this guy is a lunatic.

“I won’t let you take her from here and hand her over to the Brotherhood,” he shouts as he opens fire once again.

“I came to protect her from the Brotherhood, not hand her fucking over to them!” I yell back, darting across the small space and diving behind another tree for cover, as he sprays more bullets in my direction.

“She doesn’t need your protection. She can protect herself, and she has me.”

“She fucking belongs to me! I would have never let her become a murderer!” I shout back as I withdraw my blade from its sheath, and ready myself to rush this motherfucker.

“Let. That’s a pretty word. That alone tells me you know nothing about Dinah Camrose. No one lets Dinah do anything.” He lets out a malicious chuckle like he’s actually having a good laugh at my expense.

“As for being yours, you’re a fucking boy, a coward, playing at being a man. She needed a real man by her side, and here I am. Where I will remain long after you and that other cunt are gone.”

His words cause hot, fiery rage to flow through my body. Jealousy invades every molecule of my being. He’s all but admitting to having her. Claiming her while also calling me out for my failings. My Dinah. My Snow.His.

I don’t think logically as I react to his words and run out from behind the cover of the trees, protecting me from his bullets. I race across the expanse toward the dark shadow I see. “Face me, you fucking coward, if you are a man!”

He fires again, and a bullet grazes my shoulder as it flies past me. I keep charging him like an angry linebacker on a mission to take out the offensive running back. This guy thinks he’s going to live happily ever after with my Snow. He’s got another thing coming to him. I will never allow him to continue breathing. Both of us can go to hell and meet the devil.

I land hard with my throbbing shoulder into his side, taking him down with me. My fist lands under his jaw, forcing his head to slam backward on the ground as I rain blow after blow on his face and body. He loses his hold of the gun, which slides across the forest floor before he grabs onto either side of my face in his tight grip, and tries to gouge my eyes out with his thumbs. Both of us are now bleeding and grunting with the strain of skin meeting skin.

He headbutts me hard in the forehead, the instant pain making a wave of dizziness and disorientation hit me hard. I’m seeing double now, with darkness threatening to knock me completely out. Waves of pain and nausea attack me, and my body begs for a mercy I can’t grant it, not if we want to keep breathing. I need to restrain this asshole before he kills me. I reach for my blade only to realize that I dropped my knife when I tackled him, and now it’s somewhere out of reach.Damnit.

He tries to push me off of him, and I almost stumble backward from his large body, but at the last second, I wrap my legs around his frame and hold on tight, as he tries to roll me to get the upper hand.

“Naw, bitch, you’re not getting away,” I groan through clenched teeth before bashing my fist into his nose, and causing a gush of blood to spray me from the offending appendage.

The deranged fucker laughs, his face and teeth coated in blood. He tries his best to headbutt me again, but I move out of the way. “I will fucking end you, cunt. You will never get my Nightstar. Never.”

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