Page 4 of Mafia and Protector

“Do you always wear those shoes?”

I glanced down at my shoes and frowned, wondering if he was making fun of me.

Deep in thought, I flinched when he brought his hand up to my face.

He ran his thumb over my brow and my eyes didn’t leave his gaze. “You shouldn’t frown so much.”

I didn’t know what to say, yet I felt the frown relaxing under his thumb. His touch was gentle, but I knew better than to be disarmed by small gestures. He was a Made Man, and his whole life was about violence and cruelty.

He slowly dropped his hand as our fathers returned to the room.

My father’s voice broke the tension in the room. “That’s all we need from you, Jessica.” He was dismissing me. I should have been relieved that I could escape this room now. However, I was confused—was this all the discussion there was going to be about the biggest decision of my life? About whom I was going to marry?

I bit down on my lower lip, knowing there was nothing I could say now. So, I walked toward the door and let myself out quietly.

I ran up to my bedroom, keeping my head down and trying to keep my tears at bay until I was safely ensconced in my room. I didn’t want any of the live-in staff to see my distress. My mother had always drummed into me the need to maintain appearances.

I didn’t have long to myself before my mother appeared at my bedroom door, pouncing on me immediately. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere, Jessica! Why are you hiding yourself up here? Did you sign the engagement contract?”

“Yes, I did. Why didn’t you tell me that Father wanted to see me to inform me of my engagement?” I had felt ambushed, and I couldn’t help the hint of accusation in my voice.

“It wasn’t my place to say. He wanted to tell you himself. What did Rafael think of you?”

“I don’t know. We didn’t speak much, and he barely looked at me. I’ve never spoken to him before, and I didn’t even speak properly to him today.”

“No, of course he wouldn’t have noticed you before today. After all, you and Juliana were always joined at the hip, and standing next to her, it made you look even plainer.” My mother really knew how to boost my self-esteem. “Really, Jessica, what were you thinking putting on that lilac dress this morning? It makes you look unsophisticated and insignificant.”

My mother gave me no time to answer, however, and instead launched into wedding talk. “You will have to dazzle Rafael by wearing the most expensive wedding dress money can buy.”

“I’d prefer something simple and elegant.”

“Nonsense! People will be expecting something elaborate and opulent. After all, it will be the wedding of the year!”

I recalled her saying exactly the same thing about Juliana’s wedding—and we’d all seen how that had turned out.

I knew there was no way out of this marriage now that the contract had been signed. Once we were married, I would do my duty as a Mafia wife and do what Rafael expected of me. I knew I was plain, shy, and uninteresting. However, if I was a good wife to him, he might treat me with respect and remain faithful to me. Some arranged marriages turned into love over time, and I was determined to work as hard as possible to achieve that within my own marriage. I wanted a loving husband with whom I could build a happy family life.

“Come along and change your dress right this minute,” nagged my mother. “Then it is only fit for the trash can.”

I would change out of my lilac dress to stop my mother from badgering me, but I definitely wouldn’t throw it away—I wasn’t going to give up my favorite dress so easily.

As I undressed, I couldn’t help thinking to myself that soon I was going to lose even more control of my life, and that thought made my blood run cold.

***

“Ortensia Santino telephoned this morning,” my mother informed me later that week. Ortensia was Rafael’s mother. “She rang to arrange a doctor’s appointment for you to start on birth control. The Santinos are sending a car tomorrow, which will take you to see their doctor.”

“Couldn’t I just get it from our own doctor?” Better still, I thought, we could just not consummate our marriage at all. But I didn’t say that out loud because I knew that was out of the question.

Not only would I be expected to consummate the union on our wedding night, but also my husband would be expected to confirm to everyone the next morning that I had been a virgin for him.

Consummation on the wedding night was mandatory—it was my duty. If the marriage wasn’t consummated, then it could be annulled. And an annulment would be a disaster, given that the marriage was a strategic business arrangement between the two families.

I shuddered at the humiliating thought of my first time having sex being discussed by the men in our families. To them, it was a business detail, but to me it felt like an invasion of my privacy.

“It’s all arranged now, Jessica. Anyhow, the Santinos are only trying to help by making you an appointment with their doctor. Even if you don’t seem to appreciate it, at least they recognize how much I have on my plate to arrange a wedding within such a short timescale,” said my mother in a martyred tone.

She set a large box in front of me. “I’ve chosen what you will wear to the engagement party,” she announced, sounding exceptionally pleased with herself as she proceeded to pull a dress out.

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