Page 34 of One Small Secret

“Me?”

“I hate that I’ve dragged you into this messy life of mine. But I’ll fix it. I promise.”

Messy life? Ruben’s life is supposed to be perfect. “I’ll be fine.”

“Just promise me you won’t run off to Vietnam again.” Ruben’s face is serious, but he's joking, right? I never ran off to Vietnam. He was the one who forced me to go. Almost twice. I furrow my brow and open my mouth to question his choice of words, but he puts his other hand on my other shoulder and bends down slightly so we’re at eye level. The intensity of his dark eyes strikes differently than they did last night. Last night they were soft and almost fanciful. This morning they are hard and pragmatic. The magic of Christmas Eve didn’t carry over to Christmas—not once the world saw me with Ruben. Those hard eyes narrow in concentration. “I can fix this, I promise. I don’t want us to stop talking again. I’ve missed you too, and last night was…” He pauses like he’s trying to find the right word. “Nice.”

Nice.

I mean, it was nice, but is that such a hard word to come up with?

He drops his hands off my shoulders and strides out the door, shutting it behind him.

All the Christmas decorations in the world couldn’t make my apartment feel full now that he’s gone. I glance at the couch and our mugs. How did this all happen? What, exactly, was in that tea?

I glance out the window to make sure no one is out there taking pictures, but it looks like even the paparazzi want to spend Christmas morning with their families. As soon as the stores open after the holidays, I’m buying blinds.

Not that Ruben will be sleeping on my couch or even spending time here again. He may have promised to still talk to me, but I’m pretty sure having our faces plastered all over the internet is the end of our budding adult friendship. He said his relationship with Daphne isn’t serious, but I’ve seen their pictures on the internet, and they are glued together..

And those pictures of the two of them kissing and snuggling together at nightclubs don’t bother me because of Daphne. They bother me because of the little truth that’s been banging around in the back of my head ever since Ruben first came to my apartment. People in Ruben’s world touch, kiss, and have paternity problems all the time. It doesn’t mean anything to them.

I, on the other hand, thought lacing our arms together on Axley’s stroller might have had astronomical significance.

I saw the look in his eyes as he left. He'll do anything to get this story buried. Which means we're done. Just like when I left three years ago, he's going to cut me out and go on with his life like I was never in it.

Because I never really have been. Not in any way that mattered.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Half an hour later, Mom rushes into my apartment. I’m wearing the Christmas pajamas I’d meant to change into last night. Axley has a matching pair and when Mom walks in, I hand one to her too.

“What’s this?” she asks.

“I got us matching pajamas.” Mom smiles. We haven’t had matching Christmas pajamas since I was a kid and Dad was still alive. I chalk this up to one more magical thing about having Axley here. “I know we need to talk, but Axley and I have been waiting until you got here to dig into his stocking.”

Mom tips her head to one side and nods, taking the pajamas and heading to the bathroom to change. When she comes out we’re all wearing red thermals with llamas in Christmas hats all over them.

“You look fantastic,” I say.

“We all do,” Mom says with a smile. “Thank you.”

We help Axley get everything out of his stocking. Once he’s happily munching on his Christmas-tree-shaped yogurt melts, mom turns to me. “Tell me what’s going on with you and Ruben. How did he end up on your couch?”

“He came over to give Axley a present, and we fell asleep watching TV.” It sounds so innocent when I say it that way. “When we woke up, the world had gone crazy.” Merry Christmas, Ruben. I got you a public scandal.

Mom shakes her head. “That’s all? You could have told me that the moment I set foot in the door. I’m sure it will all blow over. Ben has whole teams that work on stuff like this. Besides, it’s Christmas. Maybe no one will see the article. Who spends time on their phones and computers on Christmas?”

I sigh. “Literally everyone, Mom. There’s no point in getting an amazing Christmas present or overdecorating your tree if you can’t post it on social media. And it isn’t just one article. That picture is everywhere.”

Mom sighs in return. “Well, at the very least we need to get away from our phones. I’m leaving mine in the kitchen. There’s nothing to be done about it now. And it’s not like this is Ruben’s first scandal.” She brushes her hands together like that’s the end of it.

Mom is right about needing to admit this is out of our hands and enjoy Axley’s first Christmas, but I know this scandal is going to be a big headache for Ruben. He’s never been one to cheat. His splits have always been amicable, and he waits just long enough to start dating the next woman so that, although seen as a womanizer, he’s one that people don’t actually get mad at. It’s more like they're all secretly hoping he’ll keep making the rounds until he ends up with them. This photo is going to change all of that.

Mom grabs Axley and ruffles his hair. “Should we see what presents Santa brought you?”

The subject is closed. Mom never even asked if I’m dating Ruben, or if I’m thinking about it. Well, why would she? The two of us make no sense. Still, she could have been a little curious about the situation. She's my mom. She's allowed to be delusional about my romantic prospects.

I rub my forehead like I can rewire some of the crazy thoughts of the past week. It’s time for a little Christmas magic. I’d gotten a sneak peek of the adorableness of Axley opening presents, and Mom is going to love it.

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